Demand On Demand

I’ve begun to accept the fact that working in Television doesn’t actually allow you much time to enjoy watching television. And arguably, TiVo is probably the greatest invention to hit The TV Business since, well, the TV. And I know this because everyone that owns one tells me. And sometimes they let me watch stuff they’ve TiVo’d. It’s like someone giving you a ride in their porsche, then dropping you back off to your Camry. One day, I tell myself, it will be mine.

Till Then, Adelphia and On Demand, you’re my new best friend. I’m sure I’m behind the times on this new found wonder but this thing is the shit for the TiVo-deprived. I go to Menu. I hit “On Demand”. I choose my premium channels, which in my case is the HBO pack. And there they are. All the episodes of Curb your Enthusiasm. Extras. Rome. Sopranos. Six Feet Under. All the One Night Stands. They even have Sex and the city for all you closet-homosexual-Sarah-Jessica-Parker Fans. I mean, Matthew Broderick is cool and all but that chick is Fugly. Regardless, every show is there. All free. All at my fingertips. When I ever I say, with the touch of a button. Well, several touches of various buttons but you get what I mean.

You wanna learn the guitar, take the twelve lessons in the new ‘Mag Rack’. It’s part of a free program selection, chock full of Instructional videos and Excercise Routines. There’s a half a dozen video courses on Photography. Seven videos on Wedding Planning. (Single men, take note: This program can be password protected using your remote without your girlfriend knowing)

Ever wanted to take a Nutrition class, now you can. Always wished you’d had a drum lesson, well saddle up partner, fantasizing about attending that weekly Pilates class, well you’re probably gay. Afterwards you can rent a XXX version Adult Video just to prove to yourself that you’re not. You can do it all.

I still only have so much time to watch TV in a week but now it can be something I’ve been looking forward to instead of settling for another syndicated comedy. If I have to watch one more episode of Just Shoot Me, Just take a gun, point it at me and pull the trigger.