Blasphemy but comedy

So I was in Lonestar steakhouse, waiting for my order and I had this wonderful thought:
Christians use the cross as a symbol of Christ. What would we have used if he was hanged? Would we all worship a noose?
Instead of performing the devotional gesture of a cross on our chests, we’d have to trace a hand around our neck and pull up on an imaginary rope with our tongue sticking out.
Good thing they didn’t have the electric chair back then. It would make for some horrible looking necklaces.

In closing, if I were a great man, and died by stepping on a land mine, please don’t worship the thing that killed me. Just worship me.
(Also, no statues or artwork depicting the moment I was blown to bits. Thanks.)

4 thoughts on “Blasphemy but comedy”

  1. Interesting observation and one that has been offered by thousands of others (the mass mind has its moments of brilliance). It really is interesting that the cross became the ultimate Christian symbol. Early on, there was the “fish” greek symbol that signified “annointed” or “Messiah.” And early Christians did use the peacock as a symbol of the risen Christ (something about the flesh of the peacock decaying very slowly). I have also read that the phoenix was an early favorite too.

    But the fact that Christian theology centers on the sacrifice of Christ makes the cross the inevitable winner. Without the ideal of someone dying to save others (or ALL others), Christianity becomes as effective and mundane as Scientology. Not that there is anything wrong with that…. Most religions today offer an orderly life in civil society, but I still need a connection to the infinite possibilities; Christianity offers me that.

    Before Christianity took over, the cross was a symbol of fear used very effectively by the Romans. Now it is mostly universally a symbol of hope. Even the guys getting ritually crucified in the Philippines seem to be making a spiritual connection to the cross as they writhe in pain during their voluntary ordeal.

  2. Bladerunner, I think we are still waiting for your piece on the “Darwin” fish symbols that reveal a sad ignorance about the beliefs of the average Christians. If I’m mistaken, please post the link. I just heard a stat that about 40% of scientists believe in some form of “personal god”, and now I wonder what percentage of Christians believe in evolution (most, I imagine).

    I think another reason for the cross as the chosen symbol is the powerful iconography it offers. It follows good logo design beautifully – shrink it to a mere 4 or 5 pixels and is still recognizable! It can be created with one color, etc., etc. I was trying to think of what Christian icon would be next in line, and the fish the only thing that comes close. Of course, there are still many icons featuring Christ Himself, but that tends to fly in the face of the “no graven images”.

    In fact, ZBalance your joke about worshiping YOU, and not some statue or artwork, is EXACTLY what God Himself proclaimed in the second commandment!

    “You shall have no other gods before me. You shall not make for yourself a graven image, or any likeness of anything that is in heaven above, or that is in the earth beneath, or that is in the water under the earth; you shall not bow down to them or serve them…”

    Is it possible you had an epiphany in the Lone Star Steakhouse???

    Anyway, the term for worshiping things (or concepts, like fame) instead of God is idolatry, with more info here: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Idolatry_in_Christianity. Interesting reading. And really makes shows the blasphemy of the phoenix as a symbol – I get the metaphor, but using mythological symbols – you might as well use Odin to stand in for Christ:

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Odin#Odin_and_Jesus

    Oh, apologies for running this thread further off course. But you asked a good question, and we fellow Crack Team members couldn’t stop ourselves from answering.

  3. My point was not just about worshiping ME alone, but also about how Jesus is shown many times in his last moments of great suffering. (Hence no statues showing my limbs being ripped apart by the land mine, please) I would not want to see that moment depicted everywhere when I return. A simple “thank you for your sacrifice” will do.
    By the way, what’s with the crown of thorns? Might sting a bit when put on, but barely an annoyance after that. I’m guessing it’s more symbolic than meant as a torture. Surely someone here has this knowledge.

    Bladerunner, I’m not sure what the point of “observation – offered by thousands of others” was.
    I, nor anyone I know has been in contact with these thousands, but regardless, I wasn’t taking credit for this thought as a discovery of my own for the better of mankind. Copyrighted and therefore unique to me. On the other hand, I really doubt the “masses” think like I do. All of us here at the Crack Team bring something special to the table and therefore, by default are members or ambassadors of no single mass.

    Archangel, Is it possible I had an epiphany in the Lone Star Steakhouse?
    Possibly. although usually I have these revelations in the shower.
    Sorry to close with THAT thought in your head.

  4. In the vein of “representing the Christian masses,” I must say that the irony of using the cross as a symbol of deliverance is a pretty standard sermon; I’ve heard it at least 3 or 4 times, in different churches. I was just stating that this observation has been made by many others. This in no way detracts from your making it; it is brilliant.

    As for worshipping a dying man on a cross (in so many Catholic churches), I offer the El Salvadorian equivalent. The cross is empty as a risen Christ opens his arms in welcome, in FRONT of the cross. It looks pretty cool and friendly, rendered in local colors:

    [Image forthcoming]

    Finally, I think that sharp spikes digging into your scalp with your slightest of head movements should be pretty annoying and painful. I had a neck muscle sprain and could not believe the pain that even a small movement created. I have a story that I will post with the missing image above. It is after all, just few days until Christ’s birthday : )

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