Snakes On A Plane: Spoiler Free

Snakes on a Plane (SOAP) is a bad movie. You might have known that beforehand. But there is a chance you might have thought it was a thriller worthy of Samuel L. Jackson. Or perhaps even smart satire or a parody of B-movies. It is none of those things.

Instead, it is an updated version of an 80’s made-for-cable B-movie horror/thriller. Think along the lines of Andy Sidaris movies, but with less sex and more Samuel L. Jackson. You might not know the name Andy Sidaris, but if you ever surfed for boobies and ‘splosions on late-night premium cable during the 80’s, you’re familiar with his body of work. They included such gems as Malibu Express, Savage Beach, Picasso Trigger, and Guns. You probably get the picture just from the titles. If not, consider this: most of his actresses were Playboy Playmates.

So that’s what you should expect when you walk in to see SOAP. That’s not to say that SOAP isn’t entertaining – it is, if you’re prepared to laugh at it instead of with it. Not surprisingly, I found the opening-night crowd very into it, cheering in all the right places, which helped a lot. If you can find a good theatre or a bunch of guys who enjoy B-movie schlock, consider it time well spent. I still remember when Masterchief and I saw Species 2, laughing the entire time at how ridiculous it was. In my mind, that’s money better spent than on a comedy that doesn’t make you laugh, or an action flick that’s bad but not funny.