Listen up, because there isn’t much time.1 The 3rd best movie this year – and second funnest – is about to leave theaters. That movie is Zombieland and it is awesome.
First of all, it’s not a horror-comedy. It’s about as scary as playing the original House of the Dead in a well lit Dave & Busters. But it is a terrific action-comedy, chock full ass-kicking and clever humor. The cast is small, but the choices were inspired.
This movie made me look forward to a Zombie apocalypse. Of course, I soon realized I’d be one of the fatties who’d get eaten first, but it’s motivating me to resolve that. It’s time to pick up a zombie survival guide and start a fireman or baseball player exercise regimen. That will really help when you run out of bullets and need to start swinging an axe or a bat or a banjo. It will also help if I ever get a shot at Emma Stone. And, dear Lord up in Heaven, do I want a shot at Emma Stone.
So seriously, hurry up and catch this. You may only have until Thursday; even now, it’s only playing a couple times a night at our local megaplex. Time is running out!
- Even less time because stupid fucking WordPress didn’t post this when I wrote it several days ago. [↩]
That Zombie Survival Guide looks almost serious. It would be great to buy it just to leave it semi-stashed somewhere in the house so my kids will find it. Then I’ll be like, “What? You thought they weren’t real? Don’t be scared though. I read the book! We’ll be fine. Off to bed now.”
I never realized how much Emma Stone looks like Mila Kunis, especially, with dark hair. Someone put those two in a movie.
ZB – I heard the zombie book is funny, but also scary in its seriousness. I’ve been thinking about several issues, like you wouldn’t really want to attack them with an axe/sword/sledgehammer/chainsaw because you’d risk getting their blood in your eyes, nose, or mouth. If that works for spreading the common cold, I’m sure that works for the zombie supervirus. Actually, a motorcycle outfit, with it’s head/face protection and leather to stop bites would be great. Then you can fire up the chainsaw. Yes, I think too much.
Hulagun – Both girls have been in Judd Apatow-produced films: Kunis in Forgetting Sarah Marshall and Stone in Superbad – two of the best comedies in the last few years. But yeah, they could play sisters.
Awesome movie! And further proof of the following evaluation:
C:\>perl -e “print Zombies gt Vampires”
1
C:\>
I wouldn’t feel as safe in leather as in a shark-mail suit. That was a good suggestion in the book. I have to find out how expensive and comfortable they are. It just seems like a good idea to wear them always regardless.