Starbucks Short and the 3-pump White Mocha

Crack Team Agents have discovered a new way to order Starbucks coffee, hidden from the general public. It is the Short, and it is an 8oz. cup with a single shot of espresso (for espresso drinks, of course). This gives it a coffee:milk ratio of 1 shot:8 oz., the same as the Grande. If you are like me, you occasionally want less than a Grande, but don’t like the watered down taste of a Tall with it’s 1:12 ratio. The short gives the same, balanced flavor as the Grande. I should also point out that the 20 oz. Venti only has 2 shots, giving it a ratio of 1:10; better than a Tall, but still a bit weak. Even a Grande can taste watered down if they overfill the milk. I am consistently amazed at how inconsistent some baristas are.
     While I’m here, I also found a good way to order a White Chocolate Mocha, which I find has gotten much sweeter than when first released. Since a Grande takes 4 pumps of syrup, you can order a “3-pump white mocha” and get the original, more reasonably sweetened drink. Again, your mileage may vary.

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6 thoughts on “Starbucks Short and the 3-pump White Mocha”

  1. Even though it’s nothing new, I still can’t quite grasp the whole coffee craze. It just tastes like dirt water to me. Like it always did.
    Unless you add tons of milk and sugar, but won’t that make just about ANYTHING taste better???

    I think my problem is that I’m immune to caffeine.
    Doesn’t make me wired. Doesn’t wake me up. Nada.
    When working nightshift, I’ve even tried chewing on raw coffee grinds straight from the can, just to see if that would wake me up…. nothing. (but disgusting)
    Drinking 6 bottles of Coke a day (for the last 20 years) make have something to do with my tolerance.
    I think Starbucks/coffee shops are more of a social craze than a taste one.
    For instance, I think if I lived close to you guys, I would be more in tune with it. Maybe even enjoy it with you.
    Right now, I would just look like a fool walking in there staring at the (menu?).
    if I DID find myself in that situation,
    could someone tell me what to order, that would make me sound like I know what I’m doing?
    Something that sounds sophisticated, with a lot of syllables.

  2. It sounds like you *completely* grasp it. The keen insight of a Team Member of The Crack Team. I don’t like straight coffee taste either, I just like coffee flavored things. Like coffee ice cream. So I’m with you, without milk and sugar/vanilla/chocolate/caramel, I wouldn’t touch it. And it also sounds like you get enough caffeine and sugar so that the coffee won’t matter much to you. I’m somewhat immune, but Red Bull still wakes my ass up quick. Doesn’t taste that great, though.

    You’re also right on the social aspect. I work in an area that’s separated from the rest of the company for security reasons. Nobody here likes going out to lunch, or hanging out, etc. So a huge part of coffee houses for me is getting out of work or the house, into a new environment, preferably one with lots of pretty girls behind and in fron of the counter. I sneak out of work just about daily with a coworker in the afternoons; we drink coffee, read the paper, and ogle babes. Then it’s back to the labor camp. I also try to go after movies to hang out and BS, since they usually put them right near theatres.

    Probably the most telling aspect is that I have never bought an espresso machine, even though it would eventually save me a lot of money.

    As for what to order, it depends on what you like, and what coffee shop you’re at. Despite being the most popular, Starbucks is probably the worst tasting overall (like MacDonalds). Coffee Bean and Tea Leaf, Diedrich’s, and It’s a Grind are all better. If you like chocolate, a “medium mocha” is pretty universal across all coffee shops. If you prefer vanilla, get a “vanilla latte (lah-tay)”.

  3. As another non-coffee drinking agent, I think I might be able to give some advice. Personally, I usually stick with milk and cookies. For some reason the girls usually think that is real sweet or cute, and I will take a free smile whenever possible, especially if it involves milk and cookies as an additional reward. If you go that route, be sure to tell them you want the milk cold, as sometimes you will end up with a steamed milk, which really doesn?t work well with the cookie. On a hot day I have also been known to partake in some of their juices or if they have a good one, some of their fake milkshake things. On a cold day, there are some tasty hot chocolate variants to enjoy as well. I don?t really enjoy the coffee taste, and being that I don?t go to coffee that often since being relocated away from the Crack Team?s regional headquarters, I usually just ask the cute young thing behind the counter what they have that doesn?t taste like coffee, rather than try to keep up with the changes to the menu. Being in Seattle, I am usually the weird guy who doesn?t like coffee, but any store that has such a sexist and superficial hiring policy can be ensured of getting my business regardless of how much I like their product, how overpriced it is, or how alienated those of us without the addiction are made to feel.

  4. Okay. I DO like coffee, yet I think I’ve ordered coffee from Starbucks or Coffee Bean, once, maybe twice. Sadly, I go almost everyday. Most of the baristas know me by name. One of them starts making my drink the moment I walk in, complete with the sugars in the raw that I know longer have to ask for. I go for the latte, plain and simple. I like the espresso and steamed milk combo. I also like an extra shot of espresso. As Archangel pointed out, Starbucks only puts two shots in their ‘venti’ latte. That sucks. Coffe Bean does three, so when I add one, it’s their “quad shot” latte. Coffee Bean is preferred and probably unavailable to anyone outside of California, as far as I know. As far as ordering something that sounds like you know what you’re doing…keep it simple. Get a vanilla or mocha latte if you like a little more flavor. Just don’t be the guy that gets the “Venti, Half-Caf, Non-fat, vanilla soy latte, with two splendas….ooh and one of those blueberry scones.”

  5. Starbucks is too expensive. Period. If we keep on patronizing them, we only encourage them. I’ve tried to order a plain glass of water whenever we have a CT event there, but given my weak will, I always end up ordering a $3.00 hot cocoa. I don’t drink coffee although I was born in a coffee-producing Central American country. So why do I keep on doing this? Because they have comfy chairs, and their indoor area is heated. I don’t like talking about movies while standing outside in the freezing Kalifornia Kold.

  6. When I’m bleary-eyed and less than ready to embrace my day, it’s worth the $3.00 to get a cup of caffeine and a cheerful greeting! (my spouse doesn’t do early morning cheerful).

    I did rebel somewhat and buy myself a Tassimo machine to recreate my breve, triple shot with a double pump of Smart and Final coconut syrup (completely smooths any coffee without tasting like coconut <—Big Tip). Using the Tassimo cut the cost to $1.10 or so (after the $100 investment for the machine). Warning however, I did go a little nuts the first week – drank WAY TOO MANY and made myself ill within a week. (sigh).

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