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Single guys like eating, but generally don’t like cooking. If they do cook, it’s usually on the grill where cleanup is as easy as turning the grill on high and brushing off the cinders. Unfortunately at my new place the grill sucks, and since I quit my job I’m cooking more. So I’m going to share some of the wisdom and experience I get in this new venture. You’ll find the directions are explicit, made for other single guys who have zero cooking experience. Of course, this means the recipes will be much longer than usual, so don’t be scared. The prep and cleanup are easy.

Italian Beef
My friend Jonathan turned me onto Portillo’s, a Chicago chain originally famous for hot dogs. I asked him what to get and he suggested the combo sandwich, which is a combination of Italian beef and sausage. I’ve since gone back many times and never wavered from this selection - just don’t forget to add cheese fries.

So I found a recipe on allrecipes.com (which appears to be the best recipe site out there) for Italian beef, citing a certain Chicago chain as the inspiration. Was this, perhaps, Portillo’s??? No. Not even close. Don’t get your hopes up. But it is a damn good beef sandwich, an Italian version of the French dip, and it’s dead simple to make. It requires a crock pot, but I’m finding this is an essential single guy kitchen appliance. So get one if you don’t have one - they’re cheap.
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So if you’re not watching Chuck, I doubt I’ll convince you to start. But if anything can, it’s this finger licking scene of Yvonne Strahovski serving yogurt at “Orange Orange” (the Pinkberry of the Chuck universe). Yes, it’s set to Flight of the Conchords’ Foux du Fafa, making it perfect:

If you liked that, here’s more Yvonne Strahovski.

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Ghost Town

I saw Ghost Town this weekend and was sorry to see how poorly it did in the box office. I enjoyed it more than Righteous Kill, Lake View Terrace, and Burn After Reading (although that was pretty decent), which all beat it. Ricky Gervais is of course funny, but he also shows us he can act (granted, he already did that in the Extras series finale). Anyway, if you like Extras or the British Office, you’ll enjoy this.

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Fixing Stinky Ice

A couple days ago I dumped all my ice because it smelled like, oh, garlic-flavored ball sweat. This is neither the flavor nor aroma I want in my beverages. So I made a new batch a few days ago and guess what? It stinks, too.

I know, I need one of those boxes of baking soda for the freezer (there’s one in the refrigerator and most of my frozen food is in sealed bags), but that doesn’t help me right now. Then I thought about how fresh ice doesn’t taste bad, as it doesn’t have time to absorb the odors. Maybe a little while freezing, but ice freezes from the outside in.

So I tried a simple experiment: I threw in 2-3 times the ice I needed in a colander and ran it under water until it shrunk to about half volume. Amazingly, it worked! You can actually wash the stink off of ice. Now my iced tea tastes like tea and not Shaq’s jock after a trip to The Stinking Rose and a playoff game. Huzzah!

I know this seems completely obvious, but I’ve never witnessed anyone doing this or talking about it, so I thought I’d throw it out there.

When I first saw the promo photos for True Blood, I figured it was CBS female spook-fest a la Ghost Whisperer and other Friday night shows I don’t watch. Sultry southern vampire stories without nudity or profanity or any reason to watch them.

I was wrong. On many counts.

First, it’s not TV, it’s HBO, who has no problems with profanity or nudity. In fact, they put boobies right in the opening title sequence.

Second, it stars Anna Paquin, who I adore. What can I say, she is adorable. She’s also a blonde in True Blood, and Alan Ball had fun with a Lolita sunbathing homage.

Anna Paquin as Sookie Stackhouse

And third, yes, it’s written and directed by Alan Ball, who wrote American Beauty. I saw that 4 times in the theater, as I was so impressed with the writing. OK, sure, Thora Birch and Mena Suvari’s revealing portrayals might have had an influence. But it takes a brilliant writer to get actresses to be so… revealing.

Anyway, it’s a great show, so be sure to catch a rerun of the pilot before the next episode airs Sunday night.

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YouTube comments are notorious for being so mind-numbingly stupid that they cause more brain damage than huffing paint. If you can’t stop yourself from reading them, use the YouTube Comment Snob plugin for Firefox and save a few brain cells for the videos to destroy.

September 8, 2008 by archangel | No comments

Set Your DVR

You might want to check out the TV Guide Premier Calendar to find out what shows start when this fall (some have already started). On my DVR (in premier order):

90210
I was surprised to find out how well I could compare - in Chuck Klosterman-like1 detail - this new series to the original. I was also surprised that the original debuted 18 years ago (I’m old). Anyway, the kids are more attractive (apparently, no producer has an unattractive daughter who wants an acting career) and have more money this time around. And, of course, by “kids” I mean hotties 18-23 years old. So this generation of teenage viewers will have an even bigger inferiority complex than we did.

I have to say, I was a bit disappointed with the first episode, considering that the creator of the original series was involved along with Freaks and Geeks producers Jeff Judah and Gabe Sachs. Freaks and Geeks is the best HS series of all time, and this is, well, not. They also have Jessica Walters, who played Lucille Bluth on Arrested Development, which is probably the greatest sitcom of all time. Her character is similar, but the dialogue is such a pale, whitewashed version of Lucille’s it’s distracting. Please pay Mitchell Hurwitz whatever he wants to write her lines. Or just let Jessica channel Lucille and say whatever comes to mind; anything to punch it up.

Bones
Dunno how they’ll replace Zack Addy and I think it sucks they have to. Maybe they’ll follow the lead of House and 90210 and replace him with some hot babe.

True Blood
I wasn’t sure about this until I discovered a) it’s on HBO and b) it’s got Anna Paquin. If I were an X-Man, my mutant power would be the ability to have sex with Rogue without dying. Great success!

Entourage
Sex, drugs, and alcohol. And mansions. And supercars. And, occasionally, Seth Green.

Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles
Lena Heady and Summer Glau. Two great tastes that taste great together. Now please replace Brian Austin Green with anybody. Maybe Jason Priestly or Ian Ziering.

Fringe
Fox replaced X-Files with Bones, but removed the supernatural part. I guess they want to replace it more directly? Could be interesting.

SNL
You know they’ll bring back Tina Fey to play Sarah Palin. My prediction: Terminator: The Sarah Palin Chronicles.

House
I like the new cast, especially the hot, young, bisexual doctor. There’s just something about her. Something hot, young, and bisexual. Also, Kal Penn is cool. And so is House, for that matter.

Smallville
Final season - ACK! And Lex Luthor (Michael Rosenbaum) is gone! And apparently Lana Lang. At least we’ll get to see Kristin Kreuk in the Street Fighter movie. And I hear there will be more Justice League action this season. Let’s hope for a spin-off.

Californication
I haven’t seen this yet, but it’s next in the Netflix queue. Combined with Dexter, it finally makes Showtime justifiable.

Heroes
It sucks that last season was truncated, but hopefully this one will make up for it. Just getting to watch Hayden Panettiere again will be nice, although I miss that cheerleader outfit.

Knight Rider
Ehhhh. I don’t know. I really doubt it. Maybe. But almost certainly not.

The Office
Duh.

The Simpsons
King of the Hill
Family Guy
American Dad

Just happy none of these were canceled (again).

Dexter
Just finished season 2 on Netflix. It’s weird; as the character becomes more human and relatable, his actions become more repulsive. So his motives/needs aren’t so clear now. I hope they work on that this season. But overall, great show.

Chuck
Yes, more Yvonne Strahovski. Also, please bring back Rachel Bilson.

Life
I got into this when I was without a TV and the writer’s strike had me watching stuff I missed. Very glad I caught this. Interesting characters. Hot babes.

Life On Mars
About all I know is that Harvey Keitel stars, and that’s all I need to know to give this a shot.

30 Rock
Duh, Part Deux.

  1. ”You used to [not] be able to tell the difference between hipsters and homeless people. Now, it’s between hipsters and retards. I mean, either that guy in the corner in orange safety pants holding a protest sign and wearing a top hat is mentally disabled or he is the coolest fucking guy you will ever know.” -Chuck Klosterman []

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I find this applicable to most (all?) of my endeavors, both art (screenwriting) and craft (software development):

The ceramics teacher announced on opening day that he was dividing the class into two groups. All those on the left side of the studio, he said, would be graded solely on the quantity of work they produced, all those on the right solely on its quality. His procedure was simple: on the final day of class he would bring in his bathroom scales and weigh the work of the “quantity” group: fifty pound of pots rated an “A”, forty pounds a “B”, and so on. Those being graded on “quality”, however, needed to produce only one pot -albeit a perfect one - to get an “A”. Well, came grading time and a curious fact emerged: the works of highest quality were all produced by the group being graded for quantity. It seems that while the “quantity” group was busily churning out piles of work - and learning from their mistakes - the “quality” group had sat theorizing about perfection, and in the end had little more to show for their efforts than grandiose theories and a pile of dead clay.

Unfortunately, I find myself all too often in the perfectionist camp, holding not dead clay but detailed sketches of ideas never pursued. I highly recommend reading more excerpts from Art & Fear. It sounds like good advice for life in general.

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What if Michael Bay wrote the screenplay for The Dark Knight? A hilarious exploration on what that would look like. It’s uncannily - and sadly - spot on.

July 11, 2008 by archangel | No comments

A couple friends have asked me what cheap gas grills I recommend. This is not familiar territory, as I’m usually off dreaming about the Weber Summit.

Weber Summit S-650

It’s the only grill I know of with a pull-out smoker box with it’s own burner. When you’re doing traditional slow and low barbecue and have to add wood chips every 1/2 hour, it’s a dream come true. But it’s also around $1,500 - not cheap.

If you want a cheap (under $500) gas grill that’s also high quality, you really only have one choice: the Weber Spirit E-310.

Weber Spirit E-310

IMHO, everything else is a poor investment. Here’s why.
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So I am finally off the PS3 purchase roller coaster. It was a wild ride, taking me from GameStop to Amazon to GameStop to Circuit City. During this time, I became disappointed with Amazon, but pissed at GameStop. I will no longer be giving them my business.

Now, I am not without blame here. I’ll leave it to you to decide who is more at fault.
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I’ve never been happy with salary.com, as they go by title and location, but there are just too many titles and everything seems scattered. Enter Glass Door. They let users post salaries, reviews, and ratings of their employer. It’s all anonymous, which is how we like it here at TCT. They even withhold salary listings for titles until they have a few.

Like match.com, you have to post before you can browse, but it’s worth it if you’re switching jobs or think you might be underpaid. Of course, their big drawback on salaries is that location isn’t included in the report; at my company, that’s a HUGE factor.

For now I posted my salary, but I’ll post a review on my way out. It won’t be pretty. Honest, but not pretty.

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As you might have read, I want a PS3 real bad. Well, I ordered one today, paying more than I wanted to. Here’s with how it happened:

  • About a month ago I learn of the PS3 MGS4 bundle and verify it’s a good deal at $500. The guy at my local GameStop says the demand won’t be huge so I should have no problems picking one up when it comes out on 6/12. I didn’t detect any sarcasm.
  • Shortly after this, I register with Amazon to notify me when they’ll be getting it. I really don’t want to get it from Amazon because of shipping and waiting, but I figure this couldn’t hurt.
  • Amazon sends me an email yesterday stating that they’ll have limited quantities on 6/6 at 10am. Wow, I can get one early! I call up a few GameStops who unequivocally tell me they will not be getting any early, and hint that even if they did they wouldn’t sell it to me. Bastards. Clearly, they’ve bought them all and have them at home already.
  • I get ready to buy from Amazon, setting up One Click to use standard shipping. I see there’s a notice on the product page that there will be limited quantities and great demand across the country, so it will sell out quickly. Huh. That’s not good. Still, I’m ready get buy it tomorrow and receive it 6/12 the latest.
  • 9:30am. I’m online and ready to buy, refreshing every few minutes. Computer clock is synchronized with the government’s atomic clock. I see comments popping up in the review section and product forum. Somebody brags that he pre-ordered it from GameStop. Pre-order? What a fool! Doesn’t he know Amazon will have them on sale today?
  • 10am. After a few more refreshes, the page changes. “You can preorder this item for $499 and get Super Saver shipping.” Preorder? You didn’t say preorder, you said order! WHAT THE FUCK?!?! HULK SMASH!!!
  • 10:02am. I check GameStop. As the braggart noted, they have it for preorder, but it’s $560. Someone in the Amazon forum notes the free shipping gave him a ship date of 6/17. I don’t want it to take forever to get here, and I don’t want a markup. This sucks.
  • 10:05am. On Amazon, I click preorder. “The item you have chosen is no longer available from that seller.” You’re that seller, asshole! Aaaagh! It’s sold out. From the forum posts, it looks like it took maybe 2 minutes.
  • I check Circuit City, they don’t even have it listed. Time is running out and GS is my only option. I call up the local GS again: can I order it in store to avoid shipping charges (and ensure it isn’t stolen off my front steps)? No, online only. I bite the bullet.

So I went from paying $500 plus shipping and getting it before 6/12 to paying $630 and getting it on Friday the 13th. I thought GS was price gouging with the $60 difference, but it turns out they forced customers to also buy the MGS4 bluetooth headset. While I’ll soon need a bluetooth headset for the California hands-free law, I was not planning on getting one that looks like it belongs in some little kid’s playset:

Metal Gear Solid Bluetooth Headset

While I would have gone with something from Jabra or Plantronics, this is made from some company I’ve never heard of. On the plus side, I’m all set to play Buck fucking Rogers with the neighborhood kids.

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This was an eye-opening documentary on steroids. There was a lot of info here, exploring the issue from many angles, and I learned a lot. Documentarian Chris Bell makes it personal with family interviews; both of this brothers are steroid users, which of course is a real shock when they’ve got nicknames like Mad Dog and Smelly. Bell makes it clear he’s been morally opposed to steroids his whole life. I don’t know if his situation injected bias or not, as I don’t know how it was edited or what was left out. In the end, though, I think viewers will be more likely to try steroids than they were before watching this.

This is because the film portrays the short term effects as mostly reversible, provided you’ve got a penis, or aren’t afraid to grow one if you don’t. It can’t list any long term effects because there’s a wholesale ban on steroids, so we will never be able to study them. This leaves the audience with a list of the long term effects such as having your own reality series (Hulk Hogan), becoming a movie star (Sylvester Stallone), or being elected governor (Elliot Spitzer Schwarzenegger). Hmm, I guess it could be use for sports, too.

The only way I can think to combat this is to point out that chicks don’t dig overmuscled meatheads, and steer them towards eating disorders instead. Of course, with cheerleaders literally getting their panties in a bunch over some roided out football player, this could be an uphill battle.

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So, my friend is running a half marathon for the American Stroke Association. I go to the donor form, which begins with the greatest list of titles I’ve ever seen:

I can’t tell you how hard it is not to choose Admiral or Bishop, but of course all agents of The Crack Team have the title Commander (abbreviated above as both Cdr. and CDR!). Still, I can think of a few they missed:
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The Visitor

I saw The Visitor over the weekend and can recommend it. It’s a touching story that raises awareness about immigration in this country, which has become quite difficult, even for honest people. I also really dug the drum music in the film. To learn more, watch the trailer or visit the film’s page at the IMDB.

NOTE: You’ll be seeing more of these micro-reviews from me, which I hope add value.

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This summer, when you fill your empty propane tank with anhydrous ammonia to make a delicious batch of methamphetamine, you could be damaging your tank! Smart meth-heads are using tanks they get from tank exchange programs like Blue Rhino. If you see a blue/green residue on your tank’s fittings, it’s time to turn it into your local tank exchange - whether it be in Riverside County or San Bernadino County - so it can blow up in some other asshole’s face. Remember, a smoldering trailer is a sad trailer. If you don’t believe me, take it from Hank Hill.

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Starbucks is now giving away 2 hours of free wifi per day. Yeah, there’s a catch. From USA Today:

The Wi-Fi freebie will be available starting Tuesday to customers who purchase a minimum $5 reloadable Starbucks Card, register online for the Starbucks Rewards Card program, and use the card at least once a month. The two hours must be consecutive. New members also receive a voucher for a free drink.

Also, if you register your gift card, you get perks:

Rewards program members who register online already receive free syrup and milk options with drinks as well as free refills of hot and iced brewed coffees and a free drink when they buy a pound of coffee beans.

Full article here.

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This pen would have been really useful in college (click on the videos at the bottom of the page). These days I don’t take notes often, but I imagine it would be quite useful if I had a lot of face-to-face client meetings.

UPDATE: There’s a better video at ZDNet.

May 25, 2008 by archangel | No comments

It looks like I may finally get my PS3 in less than a month. I was waiting around for the rumored 120GB version, since the 80GB is out of production. Well, I’ve decided I won’t wait past June 12th, when the MGS PS3 Bundle comes out. It will have:

  • 80GB PS3. Note that this is the piano black PS3, and not the rumored limited edition gunmetal grey. I’m not sure who gives a shit about color, but it ain’t me.
  • DUALSHOCK 3 Wireless Controller. This is the new force-feedback controller.
  • Metal Gear Solid 4: Guns of the Patriots. I’ve never played any MGS games, but I’m not not fond of FPS, so this could get eBayed quickly.

The whole thing is $500, so it’s like you get the upgraded controller and video game for free; that’s probably a $100 value. I will be putting that towards an extra controller and, if I feel like spending ridiculous money on (what most would call) a minor convenience, the infrared to bluetooth converter and the Harmony One remote.1

  1. I really love my Universal Automator, but there seems to be no way to support the IR2BT. []

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My grandfather had to drop out of high school during the Great Depression. He eventually got his GED, but said that most people he spoke with assumed he had a college degree. He was a very bright man, but he credited this to reading The New York Times every day, cover to cover.

Seth Godin writes about how business is poor at The New York Times, while standards and focus are slipping. Recent articles include two stories on Barbara Walters and her new book, and a review of The Olive Garden. Yes, The Olive Garden. After reading this, I have serious doubts as to whether someone could repeat what my grandfather did.

I remember growing up hearing that The New York Times was “the paper of record“. I looked up that term in Wikipedia and found there is resistance to that venerable term by Western newspaper editors, especially those at NYT:

Daniel Okrent, at the time the public editor of The New York Times, wrote on April 25, 2004 that his paper is no longer a newspaper of record, and that this change is to be welcomed. In his view, the journalism of a “newspaper of record” is “as much stenography as reporting, as much virtual reprinting of handouts (in the form of verbatim transcripts of unexceptional speeches) as provocative journalism.” John Geddes, the managing editor of The New York Times, expressed this even more strongly: “I don’t think there can be a ‘paper of record’. The term implies an omniscient chronicler of events, an arbiter that perfectly captures the significance and import of a day in our lives. I don’t work at that place.”

I think we’ve lost something good here.

May 7, 2008 by archangel | 2 comments

Orson Scott Card, author of Ender’s Game, slams J.K. Rowling for suing a small publisher for copyright infringement. The book, Harry Potter Lexicon, is based on info from a website that Rowling herself awarded in 2004.

Card is right on several points. He does an excellent job pointing out the similarities between Ender’s Game and Harry Potter, which reminded me of Harry Potter vs. Star Wars.

However, he seems so upset about JKR’s actions that he undermines his own agenda. Bringing up the Stouffer lawsuit diminishes his case, as 2 minutes of research shows it is without much merit. For one, the character Larry Potter is not, as he claims, in the Muggles book.

He also speculates on her motives rather unfavorably. I’m wondering if he had space to fill, or was just pissed off and rambling. If he kept his tone a bit more civil it would have made a more convincing argument. If I were to speculate, I’d say that as a literature snob himself (OSC almost got a doctorate in English lit.), he’s a tad peeved that JKR was so successful with her “subliterature”.

What he doesn’t bring up is that Rowling has stated that she wants to do a Harry Potter encyclopedia1. If the Lexicon was done well enough, it could potentially cut into her sales (although with a 10K print run it’d be like a fly buzzing around a cow). I agree that for publicity’s sake, she shouldn’t have sued. She does look rather greedy given her target.

For the record, I think Ender’s Game is one of the best sci fi books in the last 30 years, and the Harry Potter series is pure joy.

  1. Which I wrote about here, but it does contain Book 7 spoilers []

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Scott Hodson has created a Google maps mashup that displays wi-fi hotspots. I was surprised at the results, as I expected T-Mobile to dominate. In my area, AT&T has a much bigger presence. It’s like they got every business that wasn’t a Starbucks or convention center.

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Today I read an amazing article in Wired about Piotr Wozniak, the inventor of software that uses spaced repetition to help you learn things permanently. Spaced repetition is where you learn something, then relearn it right at the point where you’re about to forget it. Each time you relearn it, you remember it for a longer period of time. The concept is simple, but requires a computer to determine the exact point at which you need to relearn something.

Wozniak created software called SuperMemo (SM) to implement the spaced repetition algorithm. In essence, it’s the ultimate flashcard program. It allows you to use images, HTML, and sounds, too. His latest feature is “incremental reading”, where you grab a bunch of documents from the web (or email, etc.) and throw them into SM. You prioritize the documents as you insert them; when you have time to read them, SM determines the order. As you read the document, you pull out info nuggets that you don’t want to forget, and these get added to the flashcard stack. Interesting, but it sounds like a bit of work.

Although it can be used to learn anything, the killer app is language learning. Indeed, in Wozniak’s native Poland, SuperMemo has been used extensively by students of English who wish to study abroad. There’s also rampant piracy and use in China and other countries. However, piracy is unnecessary, since Wozniak writes openly about the algorithms he uses, and open source alternatives have arisen.

One standout is Mnemosyne. It also offers support for HTML, images, and sound. One interesting feature is the 3-sided flashcard, which is particularly suited to language learning by including written form, pronunciation, and translation.

Another free program I saw recommended was OpenCards. It is based on OpenOffice Impress, a free PowerPoint alternative. As such, your flashcards can contain anything that can go into a PowerPoint slide, such as background images, animation, video, sound, etc. OpenCards runs on all major operating systems.

One issue I had with this super learning system is that, other than language, I couldn’t think of much that I wanted to keep in permanent memory. It did occur that in addition to foreign words, this is a great way to retain a large English vocabulary and keep it sharp. In On Writing, Stephen King recommends expanding your vocabulary by reading good authors and looking up words you don’t know1. I already do this, but now I can retain them indefinitely. That’s pretty cool.

If I was in school, however, this would be a fantastic way to retain knowledge for tests. I did a lot of cramming, which they tell you not to do. Cramming helps you pass quizzes and tests that cover recent lessons, but when it comes to the comprehensive final, it fails2. High school students who use this system diligently can demolish memorization-heavy AP tests. Not to mention the vocabulary-heavy SAT. Heck, this could make even high school language courses worthwhile! And all of this would lead to a clear advantage in college, where the same system should also work wonders. Later in life, you can brag about graduating magna cum laude - in French! - even though you studied something you never ended up using.

Update/Clarifications (4/23/08)

In case I didn’t sell this strong enough, the Wired article explains how cognitive psychologists and memory researchers are completely baffled as to why everyone isn’t using this technique. They equate it to using torches when light bulbs are available.

Although there is an obvious use for high school students, it occurred to me that placement in accelerated classes starts as early as 3rd grade. In my school system, you had to be placed there by 7th grade if you wanted to take the most advanced math classes in high school. So parents probably should start their kids as early as 2nd grade.

You don’t need to leave your computer on all the time - it will save your progress to disk :) However, it is important to use the software daily. Skipping several days can set you back quite a ways.

Another free program is Anki. While it’s a general purpose spaced rep. program, it has extra features for learning Japanese, English, and Russian. Students of Japanese can also try Reviewing the Kanji. It was also suggested in the Lifehacker forums that Pimsleur language CDs (which are available at your local library) could be converted to OpenCards decks for optimal aural learning.

  1. As opposed to going out of your way to pillage the thesaurus, or using some other list of vocabulary words without a relevant context. []
  2. How bad it fails is related to how well you learned it the first time, the difficulty of the material, the strength of your short term memory, etc. Before you argue that cramming works, consider that you may be a genius, or, perhaps, you went to a shitty school. Just saying. []

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ZBalance got me thinking. In a recent comment thread, he lamented that he hated top 20 radio, but was concerned his kids wouldn’t.

I find that the older get, the more stuff I like. But top 20? My first thought was, “hell, no”, but I figured I’d better check. So I headed over to Billboard Top 100 and had a look-see.

There was nothing in the top 10 I liked, which satisfied the music snob in me. It’s almost entirely R&B, which is not really my thing. But I continued on and, damnit, I found stuff I didn’t hate:

12. Rihanna - Don’t Stop The Music
Standard club hit, and to be honest, I’ve always liked good house music and club hits. Henry Rollins described industrial dance as house music done right. Obviously I prefer industrial, but I know catchy when I hear it.

13. OneRepublic - Stop And Stare
14. Timbaland Featuring OneRepublic - Apologize
OneRepublic is what I call “Smallville music”. Smallville uses a lot of catchy pop music and has even released two albums. Much of it is stuff I hadn’t heard before, and some of it blows up later. I’m not the only one who has been paying attention; KryptonSite has taken the time to list everything played on Smallville, by season.

OneRepublic, however, has the dubious distinction of being on the most commercialized Smallville episode ever. The entire episode was a commercial for Stride gum and OneRepublic itself - to the point where OneRepublic is shown giving multiple concerts in an abandoned Stride gum factory. I think it was a pretty shameful day for everyone involved.

15. Alicia Keys - No One
After just explaining how I’m not into R&B, I find myself liking this track. What can I say? It grabs you with a solid beat and fantastic vocals.

16. Lupe Fiasco Featuring Matthew Santos - Superstar
This is lush, slickly produced hip hop along the lines of Kanye and Jay-Z, and I do enjoy some of their stuff. Superstar doesn’t quite reach that level, but does have a great hook.

There you have it. I actually like 25% of the top 20. This was certainly a surprise to me. All I can say in my defense was that I did not like the track from “Webbie, Lil’ Phat & Lil’ Boosie”. I cannot tell you how relieved I am to write that.

However, something still isn’t settled. ZB thinks he’s old because he doesn’t like modern music. I understand this; I distinctly remember thinking that if I liked modern music when I aged, it would mean I was still cool. Now, though, it feels like I only appreciate this stuff because I’m getting old. Perhaps it’s time to remind myself that even in my younger days, I could go from Ministry to George Michael without skipping a beat.

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I recently posted a rap video about proper web design and coding, and now here’s a bunch of electro songs from CSS. This time, we’re not talking about cascading style sheets.

You’ve probably heard Brazil’s CSS without having any idea who they were. I had a couple “oh, THAT’s who does this” moments while listening to them. Hopefully, you’ll be as happy as I was to solve the mystery.

The vocals of lead singer Lovefoxxx have a fantastic, Bjork-like cuteness to them, down to the occasional rasp. When that Portuguese accent comes out, she’s downright dangerous. And she curses! A triple threat. CSS is an abbreviation of Cansei de Ser Sexy, which is Portuguese for “tired of being sexy”. While they mean it in jest (it was a Beyonce Knowles quote), there’s a definite sexiness to their sound and lyrics.

Here are a few tracks I really liked, starting with the ones you probably heard already:

Music Is My Hot, Hot Sex

Let’s Make Love and Listen to Death From Above

Alala

Off the Hook (I think you can hear the Bjork-ness best here)

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A while back I contacted Samsung to ask them a question about one of their widescreen LCD monitors. Specifically, I wanted to know if it had a 16:9 (AKA 1:1) mode; without it, signals from your cable box get stretched and/or cropped.

Three months later they send a reply that has nothing to do with my question. Some standard “check your drivers” bullshit. Clearly, the dumbass tech didn’t even bother to read my question. So I dropped it. But they didn’t.

They are now SPAMMING me! I actually got an unsolicited marketing email from them. Apparently my question gave them the right to put me on their spam list. So I marked it as such in Yahoo mail and hope others are doing the same.

Bastards.

I am currently renting a house that is for sale. The rent is dirt cheap and includes most utilities, so I can’t complain about that. But I think I may have stumbled across a shady realtor practice.

First, some background info. The owner won’t take less than $700K for the house, and most believe the market will not support that price1. My hunch is that the selling agent agrees, although she has told the owner she fully believes the house will sell for that price.

Before getting the listing, she said she’d have an open house every other Saturday. After the papers were signed, she has held an open house every weekend.

It is important to note that there are two types of open houses. A broker open house is only open to real estate agents. They get to take a good survey of the house and decide whether it is right for their clients. This directly helps out the homeowner, because it increases the number of people selling his house.

Then there is the public open house. Here, every Tom, Dick, and Sally can come off the street, check out your house, and paw through your stuff while you’re trying to figure out what to do for the next 4 hours. This typically has little benefit for the seller, because most people walk into the house, look around, and then ask things like, “How many square feet is this?” or “What’s the price?” or “There aren’t any ethnic people in this neighborhood, are there?” Usually, the answer is not what the buyer wanted to hear. However, the showing agent can now get their contact information and what they’re looking for, adding them to their client list.

The house I’m in appears to be major client bait. It borders 3 streets, one of which is fairly busy. The agent has stated that they get a lot of visitors during public open houses. So many, in fact, that she’s decided to hold one every Saturday and Sunday, from now until the house sells. Oh yeah, she’s got a 6 month contract.

As a renter, this really sucks. In fact, I’d say it borders on harassment. I doubt she’d do this if the homeowner were living here, and if I moved out it would be a big win for her.

But as a homeowner, it doesn’t help, either. First, the selling agent isn’t running the open houses; it’s going to some random agent in the office. My network of Crack Team spies have confirmed that the agents do absolutely nothing to sell the house. Rather, they sit in the corner and collect names and phone numbers. I confirmed this lack of motivation again today. As I was scrambling to get things ready (I was given zero notice this time), I spoke with the showing agent. It became immediately apparent that she had no knowledge of the house or owner, nor did she care to. Clearly, she had no plans to sell the house.

If you find yourself in this situation, there are a few things you can do. Obviously, you can limit open houses. You can also get open house reports asking about the solid leads they’re generating. You can be lied to, sure, but this only works for so long. Then the agent looks like she can’t close since she loses so many solid leads. But most importantly, be realistic about your selling price. Maybe it’s time to call it quits.

  1. For the curious, it is a townhouse less than a mile from the beach with extensive upgrades using only the very best materials. However, it is small, located on the entrance to the development, and those upgrades were inexpertly installed. Horrible craftsmanship. []

Coolio was on Kevin and Bean this morning, promoting Cookin’ With Coolio. They asked him if he’d do weddings, bar mitzvahs, etc. and Coolio said yes. When they were surprised at this, Coolio clarified: “Everything is for sale, it’s just not on sale.” I dig it. He’s no different from Jay-Z, Sir Elton John, and every other superstar who accepts ridiculous fees to do private parties. It’s just a matter of negotiating the price.

April 11, 2008 by archangel | 2 comments

Priceless Review

In Priceless, Audrey Tatou says that charm is better than looks. “Looks can be resisted, charm cannot.” Priceless has charm in spades.

I’m not one of those guys who throws around terms like “delightful comedy” (unless I’m being ironic). But that just about sums up this film.

In Amelie, Audrey Tatou showed us she can be uniquely cute better than just about anyone. Here, she shows us sexy. She is practically naked the entire film, by way of dresses with sheer and/or very little fabric, and her glorious refusal to wear a bra. Also, she is sometimes just naked. Bravo!

Also, she can act. Not too far into the film I’m thinking, “I really don’t like her character.” I was concerned for the film, because how am I supposed get into a romantic comedy when I don’t know why the guy is pursuing this girl? But it’s not long before she, too, shows us what charm is. Yes, the screenwriters get credit for this, too, but it still requires the right actress to make us change our minds.

Gad Elmaleh is great as Jean, a bartender who falls for Tatou, a girl way above his pay grade. His father was a mime, and you can see him channeling Chaplin in this film. After watching him in this, I’ve moved The Valet to the top of my Netflix queue.

Now, some caveats. This is a French film. I don’t just mean the dialogue is in French1, I mean the comedy, tone, setting, etc. I’m a big fan of foreign films, especially French; you may not be. At the same time, if you’re expecting Amelie, which is off-the-charts charming and quirky, you’ll be disappointed. But it is quirky, and fun, and… You know. Delightful.

Gad Elmaleh and Audrey Tatou in Priceless

  1. Except for “pick-me-up” and “sunny-side up”, which have apparently been assimilated into the French language. []

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The Poetic Prophet, AKA Moserious, raps at ya about designing and coding your site. Yes, your web site. And yes. It is awesome.

Ironically, going to his site triggered a Quicktime update message that crashed Firefox. The message noted that the latest Quicktime fixes many serious bugs. Indeed. But even though I was in the middle of writing this very post, Firefox restored this edit page with all my text in tact. Oh Mozilla, is there anything you can’t do? (Other than not crash in the first place?)

Tip of the hat to Ray and Or.

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Just a reminder that the final season of Battlestar Galactica starts tonight at 10PM. In case you forgot over the one year break, last season ended with some sort of conflict between spaceships and robots and people. Or something. It’s been so long…

April 4, 2008 by archangel | No comments

Some big news from NBC:

  • Knight Rider returns as a series. It’ll air Wednesdays at 8PM. No word on whether Val Kilmer will still play KITT.
  • Merlin, a new series about Camelot, will air Sundays at 8PM. Better have a two-tuner DVR to grab that and The Simpsons, Family Guy, et al.
  • Matthew Broderick will be in the season finale of 30 Rock. The show, of course, has been renewed.
  • The Office is getting a… well, they’re calling it a spinoff, but I don’t see how you can have a spinoff when supposedly none of the current cast will be in the new show, and it will be in a different location. Sounds more like a copycat show to me. A special Office episode and the copycat pilot will air right after the Superbowl. Like last year, the first episodes of the season will be an hour long.
  • SNL will have a spinoff called Thursday Night Live. It will consist of a half-hour of political sketches leading up to the election.
  • Heroes is of course coming back. The new season will start with a 2-hour episode on Sept. 15th, following one of those lame hour-long clip episodes that Lost is always doing.
  • Life is coming back! Annoyingly it will air Fridays at 10PM, but that’s what DVRs are for. I never watched this on TV, but caught them all online (you can, too - the whole season). Now I’m hooked. I really like the main character, and the supporting cast is great. Sara Shahi looks gorgeous when she’s not in butch cop mode, and I’ve always liked Adam Arkin. My big hope is that Christina Hendricks will return. She’s a beautiful redhead with a body that would make Barbie jealous. Seriously, one of the best bodies in the history of bodies… Where was I? Oh yeah, to top it off they’re getting Donal Logue as the new boss. If you’ve never seen The Tao of Steve, in which he stars, rent it now. A great guy movie.
  • Scrubs is not coming back! Well, not on NBC - it’s expected to move to ABC. Looks like it’s getting replaced by the Office copycat and Last Comic Standing. Whatever.
  • Over the summer, NBC is creating a bunch of webisodes for Chuck, Heroes, and The Office. Hopefully they’ll be in HD; Yvonne Strahovski and Hayden Panettiere deserve nothing less.

More at Variety.

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This (or something very like it) came to the Hollywood Bowl. It’s an orchestral soundtrack to classic video games.

Tip of the hat to Or.

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So I want a Blu-Ray player, and the PS3 appeared to be the logical choice. After considering the setup and looking at the features, I’m not so sure.

The house where I’m staying has the TV (a 70″ Sony LCD rear projection) set into the wall. The A/V components are above it on a shelf also set into the wall; it’s a sort of cubby hole. There is a hole between the components and the TV where wires are fed. It’s the kind of setup that, when you have to modify the wiring, you start by staring at the system for five minutes, mutter “Fuck me,” and then try to find a way to not do that.

I thought I had accomplished that. There’s an existing DVD player, and it’s connected with component cables, so it thought I could just do a drop in replacement with the PS3.

Not so fast. The PS3 does not have direct component out. It has a proprietary analog A/V connection, which forces you to buy a special cable for $20. You can’t just use your existing cables and plug them right in. If you’re in my situation, or the cable is too short (which it might be since they don’t tell you how long it is!), you need a component video coupler. This is a set of 3 RCA female-to-female connectors, known amongst electrical engineers as a lesbian 3-way adapter. Luckily, it’s only $4 at Radio Shack. So I gotta shell out another $24 bucks I shouldn’t need to, but I can live with that.

What I can’t live with is the PS3 Blu-Ray remote. It’s Bluetooth, not infrared. Yes, this means you don’t need need to point it at the console - but who isn’t trained to do that anyway? I already shelled out $160 for a Universal Automator remote with macros, volume punch through, etc. The BR remote isn’t even back-lit. And there’s no one-touch power off, meaning that even if it did have infrared support, you couldn’t use macros to turn it off.

So as much as it pains me, I think I’m going to have to pass on the PS3 and go with a straight up BD player. Hopefully they have some that fully support BD-J. For me, that was the big selling point for the PS3. Of course, the games wouldn’t hurt, assuming it gets some good ones.

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I’ve decided I’m against hit and runs. This epiphany came to me about 8:25AM. That also happens to be 5 minutes after my car was sideswiped by someone who did not stop to leave a note. The event may have influenced my opinion.

I didn’t hear a thing, but my roommate did. By the time he ran out there, the criminal was gone. I called the cops who came pretty quickly. Several neighbors came out to survey the damage and console me, but nobody witnessed the crime. After inspecting the damage closely, however, we came to a few conclusions.

There is no paint on my car - the damage was done by large tires, and a fair amount of rubber was transferred. It was clearly a big truck of some sort with tires that stick out. There was a street sweeper, but his truck didn’t match the pattern (the cop waved him over and checked). And yes, I’m an asshat and forgot about street sweeping day. I wasn’t supposed to be parked there. In my defense, I’ve only been in that neighborhood a month and there are no signs to warn you, as you don’t get ticketed if you forget.

There are two trucks in the neighborhood that match that description and must drive past my car to leave the development. One was parked in his driveway and a neighbor confirmed it was there all morning. Plus, the owner came out to see what was going on and talk with us.

The other truck is owned by someone named Robert1. Robert is a neighborhood punk. Twice he’s tore up the grass in the park by doing donuts. Nothing was done about it, except the HOA put some big boulders around one area to keep him from driving on it again. The repairs came from everyone’s dues. When the cop asked if anyone knew him personally, one neighbor said his only contact with Robert was when he confronted him about driving drunk through the neighborhood with his friends. The cop thought that might suggest he’s the type of person to also hit a guy’s car and flee. Unfortunately, the criminal did not leave anything useful when he left, like maybe some white paint from his truck, or a side mirror. Only my side mirror was found, about 40′ from my car.

It’s worth noting that 30 minutes later, my roommate caught Robert returning to the scene of the crime. Robert spent a while surveying the damage done to my car, and then sped off when my roommate walked out. My guess is that he was thinking, “Wow, that looks just like I hit it with my truck. Time to buy new tires.”

So right now Robert is the prime suspect. If I can get evidence, the cop will arrest the guy, or try to intimidate him into confessing. Unfortunately, Robert has experience with vehicular crime and knows enough to park his car in his garage. If anyone has any suggestions for collecting evidence in this situation, please comment (or contact me - the form is at the bottom of this page).

  1. His name has not been changed. []

Missing In Acton

I was pretty blown away when I first heard M.I.A.’s (Mathangi “Maya” Arulpragasam’s) debut album Arular. The Sri Lankan supercutie creates a mix of ragga and electro funk, so it’s like a dancey, electronic reggae (and I’m not a big reggae fan). The lyrics are nonsensical (or in some dialect of slang I’m ignorant of), but that doesn’t reduce the likeability. Her award winning follow-up Kala has more of a traditional electronic dance, clubby feel. It also includes a cover of the Pixies’ Where Is My Mind? (which samples New Order to boot).

Instead of continuing this awkward description, why don’t you just check out some videos? Like I said, she’s easy on the eyes…

Galang (from Arular)

Bucky Done Gun (from Arular)

Boyz (from Kala)

20 Dollar (from Kala)
Note: fake video, real song

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Tim Ferriss of 4-Hour Work Week has an article on “hacking” sleep. I’m a night owl, which I don’t consider a problem, but some of his tips might help you if you suffer from insomnia.

The most interesting one to me was the caffeine nap: you down a shot of espresso like it was vodka, set the alarm for 20 minutes, and take a nap. When the alarm hits you’re refreshed and the caffeine is working. It reminds me of Agent Bladerunner’s method, which he learned from a founding father: nap in a chair with a spoon in your hand. Right when you’re about to hit REM, you drop the spoon and wake up. If you do go into REM, you probably need to stay there in increments of 90 minutes or you’ll be really groggy.

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This is pretty big news: Macs now account for 14% of all PC sales by units sold. By dollars spent, it’s 25% - yes, they are friggin’ expensive.

In my microverse, the laptop share must be 80% or more. What’s interesting is that even by techies, they’re not being bought for OS X. The reasons I’m hearing are that it’s very reliable and (this is coming from a very talented sysadmin, mind you) “it’s just so thin…”. Several people are using Windows as the main OS.

By non-techies, it’s totally the external form that sells it. Clearly Microsoft thought making Vista look more like Aqua would help, but it’s the container, not the guts, that’s grabbing buyers. I heard another story on Hacker News from a guy who explained to his friend how the Macbook Pro was so much faster than the Macbook, even though the specs look similar. His eyes glazed over, and then he proclaimed, “Yeah, I like look of the glossy black one better.” These aren’t computers, they’re accessories.

I think they’re cool, and I love the fact that it’s UNIX under the hood and runs Windows reliably. But I still have a hard time spending $600+ more for a laptop with fewer features than an HP or Dell. But I’d definitely take the Apple over the Sony.

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I frequently have to adjust my assumptions. Everyone knows the Wii is the top console these days, but it always amazes me to hear that the PS2 is next in line. Sony sold 352,000 units in February alone! Versus 281K for the PS3 and 255K for the 360. And the Nintendo DS outsells everything at 588K units last month. The #1 game was Devil May Cry 4, which I’d never even heard of - not even 1-3. I’m not a console gamer, but I figured I’d at least hear of the best selling game in the market. I think it’s time I a start midlife crisis.

March 19, 2008 by archangel | No comments

When I recently read about a Clone Wars cartoon, I thought I might have accidentally stumbled on an old article. I remembered the Emmy winning 2003 Clone Wars cartoon. Now Lucas has created another Clone Wars cartoon. Stupid mistake on my part; the original was called Star Wars: Clone Wars, while the new show as a completely different name - Star Wars: The Clone Wars. Both take place between episodes II and III.

The official site has a trailer and a video intro to the series.

Overall, the animation looks like they did it with a video game rendering engine, embellished in parts. Perhaps they’re borrowing technology from The Force Unleashed. Of course, it sure sounds like Star Wars.

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Comedy Central is getting some new shows that might be good:

Andy Richter is getting a sketch comedy show. If it’s anywhere near as good as Andy Richter Controls the Universe - one of the top 10 American sitcoms - I’ll be very happy. The sadly short lived Andy Barker, P.I. was also great.

Snoop Dogg is getting an animated show based on his teenage years in Long Beach. I live about 20 minutes from Long Beach, but I’m guessing it’s not set in any of the parts I’ve been to, except, perhaps, by accident.

Nick Swardson, best known as Terry from Reno: 911, will be voicing the lead character in a new animated show called Gay Robot. No further commentary necessary.

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Variety reports that Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows will be made into two movies, with the second to be released 6 months after the first.

For those not familiar with the books (no spoilers here), they keep getting bigger. By the fourth book,