The Crack Team » hbo http://www.crackteam.org The most famous covert organization in the world. Mon, 01 Dec 2008 12:24:16 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.3.2 en True Blood Goes Down Easy http://www.crackteam.org/2008/09/11/true-blood-goes-down-easy/ http://www.crackteam.org/2008/09/11/true-blood-goes-down-easy/#comments Thu, 11 Sep 2008 09:48:44 +0000 archangel http://www.crackteam.org/2008/09/11/true-blood-goes-down-easy/ When I first saw the promo photos for True Blood, I figured it was CBS female spook-fest a la Ghost Whisperer and other Friday night shows I don’t watch. Sultry southern vampire stories without nudity or profanity or any reason to watch them.

I was wrong. On many counts.

First, it’s not TV, it’s HBO, who has no problems with profanity or nudity. In fact, they put boobies right in the opening title sequence.

Second, it stars Anna Paquin, who I adore. What can I say, she is adorable. She’s also a blonde in True Blood, and Alan Ball had fun with a Lolita sunbathing homage.

Anna Paquin as Sookie Stackhouse

And third, yes, it’s written and directed by Alan Ball, who wrote American Beauty. I saw that 4 times in the theater, as I was so impressed with the writing. OK, sure, Thora Birch and Mena Suvari’s revealing portrayals might have had an influence. But it takes a brilliant writer to get actresses to be so… revealing.

Anyway, it’s a great show, so be sure to catch a rerun of the pilot before the next episode airs Sunday night.

]]> http://www.crackteam.org/2008/09/11/true-blood-goes-down-easy/feed/ Set Your DVR http://www.crackteam.org/2008/09/07/set-your-dvr/ http://www.crackteam.org/2008/09/07/set-your-dvr/#comments Sun, 07 Sep 2008 09:10:39 +0000 archangel http://www.crackteam.org/2008/09/07/set-your-dvr/ You might want to check out the TV Guide Premier Calendar to find out what shows start when this fall (some have already started). On my DVR (in premier order):

90210
I was surprised to find out how well I could compare - in Chuck Klosterman-like1 detail - this new series to the original. I was also surprised that the original debuted 18 years ago (I’m old). Anyway, the kids are more attractive (apparently, no producer has an unattractive daughter who wants an acting career) and have more money this time around. And, of course, by “kids” I mean hotties 18-23 years old. So this generation of teenage viewers will have an even bigger inferiority complex than we did.

I have to say, I was a bit disappointed with the first episode, considering that the creator of the original series was involved along with Freaks and Geeks producers Jeff Judah and Gabe Sachs. Freaks and Geeks is the best HS series of all time, and this is, well, not. They also have Jessica Walters, who played Lucille Bluth on Arrested Development, which is probably the greatest sitcom of all time. Her character is similar, but the dialogue is such a pale, whitewashed version of Lucille’s it’s distracting. Please pay Mitchell Hurwitz whatever he wants to write her lines. Or just let Jessica channel Lucille and say whatever comes to mind; anything to punch it up.

Bones
Dunno how they’ll replace Zack Addy and I think it sucks they have to. Maybe they’ll follow the lead of House and 90210 and replace him with some hot babe.

True Blood
I wasn’t sure about this until I discovered a) it’s on HBO and b) it’s got Anna Paquin. If I were an X-Man, my mutant power would be the ability to have sex with Rogue without dying. Great success!

Entourage
Sex, drugs, and alcohol. And mansions. And supercars. And, occasionally, Seth Green.

Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles
Lena Heady and Summer Glau. Two great tastes that taste great together. Now please replace Brian Austin Green with anybody. Maybe Jason Priestly or Ian Ziering.

Fringe
Fox replaced X-Files with Bones, but removed the supernatural part. I guess they want to replace it more directly? Could be interesting.

SNL
You know they’ll bring back Tina Fey to play Sarah Palin. My prediction: Terminator: The Sarah Palin Chronicles.

House
I like the new cast, especially the hot, young, bisexual doctor. There’s just something about her. Something hot, young, and bisexual. Also, Kal Penn is cool. And so is House, for that matter.

Smallville
Final season - ACK! And Lex Luthor (Michael Rosenbaum) is gone! And apparently Lana Lang. At least we’ll get to see Kristin Kreuk in the Street Fighter movie. And I hear there will be more Justice League action this season. Let’s hope for a spin-off.

Californication
I haven’t seen this yet, but it’s next in the Netflix queue. Combined with Dexter, it finally makes Showtime justifiable.

Heroes
It sucks that last season was truncated, but hopefully this one will make up for it. Just getting to watch Hayden Panettiere again will be nice, although I miss that cheerleader outfit.

Knight Rider
Ehhhh. I don’t know. I really doubt it. Maybe. But almost certainly not.

The Office
Duh.

The Simpsons
King of the Hill
Family Guy
American Dad
Just happy none of these were canceled (again).

Dexter
Just finished season 2 on Netflix. It’s weird; as the character becomes more human and relatable, his actions become more repulsive. So his motives/needs aren’t so clear now. I hope they work on that this season. But overall, great show.

Chuck
Yes, more Yvonne Strahovski. Also, please bring back Rachel Bilson.

Life
I got into this when I was without a TV and the writer’s strike had me watching stuff I missed. Very glad I caught this. Interesting characters. Hot babes.

Life On Mars
About all I know is that Harvey Keitel stars, and that’s all I need to know to give this a shot.

30 Rock
Duh, Part Deux.

  1. ”You used to [not] be able to tell the difference between hipsters and homeless people. Now, it’s between hipsters and retards. I mean, either that guy in the corner in orange safety pants holding a protest sign and wearing a top hat is mentally disabled or he is the coolest fucking guy you will ever know.” -Chuck Klosterman
]]> http://www.crackteam.org/2008/09/07/set-your-dvr/feed/ Dave Attell and Louis CK http://www.crackteam.org/2007/12/10/dave-attell-and-louis-ck/ http://www.crackteam.org/2007/12/10/dave-attell-and-louis-ck/#comments Tue, 11 Dec 2007 04:13:29 +0000 archangel http://www.crackteam.org/2007/12/10/dave-attell-and-louis-ck/ Just a quick recommendation for two hilarious HBO comedy specials: Dave Attell: Captain Miserable and Louis CK - Shameless. Attell’s special just aired and will be in reruns for a while. Shameless came out almost a year ago, but I think it’s still available on HBO On Demand. If not, you can rent it on DVD.

I’m not sure I’d call this filthy comedy, but after watching them you’ll never look at whale semen or duck vaginas in the same light… On second thought, it’s filthy.

]]> http://www.crackteam.org/2007/12/10/dave-attell-and-louis-ck/feed/ Your New Fall Television Schedule http://www.crackteam.org/2007/09/07/your-new-fall-network-television-schedule/ http://www.crackteam.org/2007/09/07/your-new-fall-network-television-schedule/#comments Fri, 07 Sep 2007 09:31:39 +0000 archangel http://www.crackteam.org/2007/09/07/your-new-fall-network-television-schedule/ The fall television schedule is out, and I have done you a big favor and listed the shows you will be watching. I do this out of love.

Sunday  
8:00 The Simpsons (9/23)
8:30 King of the Hill (9/23)
9:00 The Family Guy (9/23)
9:30 American Dad (9/30)
10:00 Curb Your Enthusiasm (9/9) The only reason not to cancel HBO, but it’s a pretty great reason. The last season finale looked like a series finale, so this was a pleasant surprise. And the season premier had Larry in top form.

Monday		    
8:00 Chuck (9/24) Looks like The 40 Year Old Virgin meets Alias, but could be a big lump of crap. Not sure yet.
8:30 The Big Bang Theory (9/24) 2 geeks and a hottie. My guess is that the geek humor won’t be true geek humor, but what an English major with no geeky friends thinks geek humor is. In other words, a vehicle for "normal" people to laugh at geeks. Maybe I’m wrong, but I doubt it.
9:00 Heroes (9/24)  
9:30 Rules of Engagement (9/24) Two couples and their single friend (David Spade). Looks kinda funny; hopefully it’s another Just Shoot Me. If you don’t have a way of watching/recording two shows, obviously you’ll have to drop this for Heroes.
10:00 Journeyman (9/24) This looks seriously cool, if only because it stars Lucius Vorenus from Rome. And if you haven’t seen Rome, get it on DVD. An incredible $100M+ production, with no shortage of sex, violence, and damn good writing and acting.

Tuesday		    
8:00 Bones (9/25) If you’re short on time, you can skip this. It’s not as cool as X-Files, or as well written as House, but it’s alright.
9:00 House (9/25) The season finale was a big "WTF???" so this is highly anticipated. I’m hoping the new staff is filled by any number of out of work TV hotties: Elisha Cuthbert, Catherine Bell, Eliza Dushku, Jeri Ryan, Jolene Blaylock, Lucy Liu, Michelle Trachtenberg, Mila Kunis (voice work doesn’t count), or Laura Prepon. With David Cross playing an analyst-therapist (or analrapist, as they’re known in the medical field).
9:00 Reaper (9/25) I initially wrote this off after reading the synopsis: a comedy about a guy who’s parents sold his soul to the devil, so he now has to work for him as a bounty hunter. It’s on the CW, and I was never into Buffy or Angel or Supernatural. But I just found out the pilot is being directed by Kevin Smith, so at least the first episode will be worth watching.

Wednesday		    
8:00 Pushing Daisies (10/3) Jury’s out on this, too. I do like the concept of a guy who can bring back the dead, but only uses that power to pick up some extra cash. It just screams underachiever.
9:00 Bionic Woman (9/26)  

Thursday		    
8:00 Smallville (9/27) Is Lana alive?!? Wait, don’t answer that!
8:00 Scrubs (10/25) Final season :-(
8:30 30 Rock (10/4) If you weren’t impressed at the start of last season, this got way funnier as the season progressed. And Catrina Bowden is crazy hot.
9:00 The Office (9/27)  
10:00 It’s Always Sunny In Philadelphia (9/13) Two episode premier!

Friday		    
8:00 Next Great American Band (10/19) Produced and written (the scripted parts, at least) by The Crack Team’s own Agent Mystery! Destined to be the best show on television, winning multiple Emmys and getting all team members of The Crack Team totally laid (details pending, but it will probably involve groupies, mistaken identities, and shenanigans). Click the link to check out the Agent Hulagun-designed MySpace page.
9:00 Moonlight (9/28) Alternate title: Count Dracula, Private Eye. Eh, it’s vampires, so I’m in it for the goth chicks.
]]> http://www.crackteam.org/2007/09/07/your-new-fall-network-television-schedule/feed/ Flight of the Conchords http://www.crackteam.org/2007/06/18/flight-of-the-conchords/ http://www.crackteam.org/2007/06/18/flight-of-the-conchords/#comments Mon, 18 Jun 2007 08:45:16 +0000 archangel http://www.crackteam.org/2007/06/18/flight-of-the-conchords/ Just saw Flight of the Conchords (HBO show site, band site). Very funny, very creative, and great music. I guess the genre is “digi-folk parody”, but whatever you call it, it’s damn entertaining. Finally, HBO finally has something on Sunday nights that won’t give you a stress-related ulcer.

(If the animation annoys you, just hit Escape.)
Flight of the Conchords

]]> http://www.crackteam.org/2007/06/18/flight-of-the-conchords/feed/ Future of HBO http://www.crackteam.org/2006/07/14/future-of-hbo/ http://www.crackteam.org/2006/07/14/future-of-hbo/#comments Fri, 14 Jul 2006 22:24:59 +0000 archangel http://www.crackteam.org/2006/07/14/future-of-hbo/ HBO has revealed it’s future TV plans. The bad news is that Rome will be gone after next season. It was an extremely well done show, which I guess made it a bit too expensive ($100M). But it looks like Curb Your Enthusiasm will be coming back, a show I thought was already dead after the last episode seemed so much like a series finale. Alan Ball, creator of 6 Feet Under and writer of American Beauty, is working on a vampire drama, which should be pretty interesting coming from that mind. And of course, only one more season of Sopranos (really, the second half of this one).

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