Food

You are currently browsing the archive for the Food category.

A Culinary Tour of NJ (with a stop in NYC)

October 22, 2009 in Food by archangel | 4 comments

I was just in Jersey for ThinkTank1’s wedding (congrats!), and spent most of my free time eating. I hadn’t been there for a few years so I had a lot of catching up to do. Some stuff was as good as I remember, some wasn’t, and a few places were brand new. Here’s the rundown.

New Jersey

Dunkin Donuts
After years of gushing praise about their coffee from several CT agents, I finally got some - a regular iced coffee with cream and sugar. I was really disappointed. It tasted like a glass of whole milk with a splash of coffee and some sugar on the bottom. I thought it might’ve been one time screw-up so I ordered it again at a different DD - same thing. McDonald’s iced coffee is WAY better. My local guide said DD’s coffee has gone downhill in recent years. I have a hunch it was due to their push into supermarkets.

I also got a French cruller that was alright, and a butternut which was just OK. I guess I forgot the one I love is the chocolate butternut, which are very rare. The regular ones are strangely lemony. I should’ve stuck with the chocolate glazed; they really can’t screw that up.

Pete & Elda’s Bar / Carmen’s Pizzeria

96 Woodland Avenue

Neptune, NJ

This place has been rock solid for years - exactly how I remembered it. It’s got the thinnest crust pizza I’ve ever seen, but it’s not just a gimmick - it’s very good. They have a deal where you get a t-shirt if you can eat an entire XXL pizza by yourself. I’ve done this a few times, but decided to pass this time. Besides trying not to be a glutton, the t-shirts tend to be ugly as sin. The only mark against P&E is that the water was foul - I had to get a soda to mask the taste.

River’s Edge Cafe

35 Broad St.

Red Bank, NJ

This is where the wedding reception was. I had the salmon in a lemon dill sauce with rice and string beans - it was excellent. I expected the salmon to be overcooked since this was for a large crowd, but it was perfect.

The big endorsement is from ThinkTank1 and his lovely new bride, who chose it for the reception. For those who don’t know Jersey, downtown Red Bank is pretty much the only cool part (although East Rutherford had a cool area - see below). There are several restaurants here, but they keep returning to this one and have eaten most of what’s on the menu. The prices look very reasonable and the food was great, so I can’t blame them.

Zebu Forno

20 Broad St.

Red Bank, NJ

Whenever possible, I choose the mom and pop coffee house over Starbucks or other chains and - big surprise - I’m almost never disappointed. Zebu Forno is a small chain with a handful of locations, but we could definitely use more of them. I’d say they most closely compete with Panera, but I dug this better.

I walked in and was greeted by an incredibly cute and friendly girl. I ask if they take credit cards, but it’s a $10 minimum and I’m only getting coffee. “How much do you have on you?” $4. “That’s good enough.” At this point, I’m in love.1 In fact, now I have to take out cash just to tip her a buck for being so understanding. And cute.

I got a double mocha, which was good. The next day I went back for breakfast. This place has a huge menu of all sorts of stuff, and amazingly it all looks good.2 I went with the pork roll with egg and cheese on a roll. It wasn’t real Taylor Ham with the thick, round slices, but it was still tasty and the roll it was on could not have been better. And I got yellow American cheese, not the white I’m always stuck with in California. So damn good.

Eros Cafe/After Athens

17-19 Park Ave.

Rutherford, NJ

While they have a full lunch and dinner menu filled with Greek cuisine, we came here for coffee and dessert. It’s got a cool atmosphere (yes, this also means hot girls) and is open late - 3AM on Friday! Personally, I think they should’ve changed the channel when the Greek station started playing some gay shirtless voguing videos, but at least it wasn’t in my face. And that’s probably normal for Greece.

I got an iced mocha, which was OK, but I felt they skimped on the chocolate. TT1’s Mexican hot chocolate was good. For dessert, I got a strawberry crepe with vanilla creme. The problem here is that I expected the strawberry filling to be hot, which would have made this perfect. Since it and the creme were cold, the whole thing was just luke warm and turned cold quickly.

So overall the food was just OK, but they had a lot of other stuff that looked good, like a chocolate peanut butter brownie cake, creme brulee, etc. I would definitely return, if for no other reason than it’s open late. It’s a much cooler, hipper alternative to a diner. One tip: they don’t bring you your check - you have to go to the counter to get it. On the plus side, we never felt rushed.

Cluck U Chicken
This used to be my favorite chicken chain. I’d always get a chicken parm sandwich, a Roman (mozzarella and a garlic cream sauce), or a Red Roman which combines the two. The chicken breasts they used were huge. Now they’re advertised as 1/3 lb. and they’re pretty clearly pounded flat to seem bigger. And the Red Roman wasn’t as good as I remembered - I should have gone for the regular Roman.

My regular side order was their real, red skinned mashed potatoes in a turkey (or was it chicken?) gravy. Now it’s just instant mashed with brown gravy. And to top it off, they serve Pepsi instead of Coke. Sigh.

It’s clear they’ve been doing a lot of cost cutting in the years since I last visited. If they kept the quality high they’d have more customers. I might give them another chance, but I really regret picking this over White Castle as one of few places I got to (re)visit.

New York City

We used Yelp to help decide where to go, based on which places had the most reviews while maintaining a decent rating. We also took into consideration how easy it would be to get from one place to the next, considering it was a Friday night. It worked out great; short, but sweet.

The weather could not have been better - about 65 degrees and, dare I say it? Balmy! Yes, balmy in NYC in October. I’ve never seen so many hot women in NYC, they definitely dressed for the warm weather and a Friday night on the town. I guess I usually visited during the day or a weeknight, but NYC never struck me as a city of babes. I was happy to be shown its better side.

Katz’s Delicatessen

205 East Houston St.

New York, NY

We were debating whether to return to The Carnegie Deli, where I previously had the best sandwich of my life (and the best knish). But Katz’s was higher rated on Yelp and we’d never been there, so what the heck.

We took a cab from Port Authority. As we entered the place, a security guard gave us a ticket. You hand it to the cashier when you pay, who marks it for the guard when you’re leaving. I’d wonder what happens when you don’t get anything, but I imagine they take you straight to the looney bin.

It was a no brainer what to get - a pastrami sandwich on rye. The only question was mustard or Russian dressing. I’m a Russian dressing guy.3 We walk up to the meat cutter and tell him we want pastrami. He walks off without saying anything. Then I see him returning with a whole, steaming pastrami. It must’ve been right out of the smoker. He slices some off for us to taste.

Heaven. Now I know what gave Meg Ryan that orgasm in When Harry Met Sally.

We get our sandwiches and a beverage and sit down to what is now the best sandwich of my life. Now, to clarify, Carnegie Deli pastrami is also awesome. Both delis make it themselves. Both are leaner and more tender than anything I’ve had elsewhere. I think the Katz pastrami was more moist, having been so fresh. A big point is that the Carnegie sandwich is noticeably larger; it’s the king of the mile high sandwiches. Katz’s was smaller, but still big, and it only cost $14.50. I remember paying close to $20 for the Carnegie sandwich, and that was in 2002! A lot of people say the Carnegie sandwich is too big and impossible to finish. I’d agree if I didn’t eat the whole damn thing, then polish off half a knish the size of a Nerf football. But I’m a fatass. That said, I did feel really full after Katz’s sandwich, and we were happy to have a bit of a walk to our next place.

Pommes Frites

123 2nd Ave.

New York, NY

For those not familiar with them, the big deal about about Belgian fries is that they are fried twice. They’re traditionally served with various mayo-based sauces. This place was good, but I have a specific idea of what Belgian fries are, and these weren’t it.

Back when the 3rd Street Promenade in Santa Monica was cool, there was a Belgian fry place called Benita’s Frites. These were square-cut fries, crispy and greasy on the outside, soft on the inside. The perfect fry. They offered about 20 different sauces like garlic mayo and remoulade.

The fries at Pommes Frites are good, but they’re more like steak fries and aren’t that crispy. They also have a large sauce selection. I had the roasted garlic mayo, which was a little too sweet; I would have preferred a regular garlic mayo. We also had a pesto mayo, which I must admit was spot on.

They also offer poutine, a French Canadian treat that consists of fries with brown gravy and fresh cheese curds. I’ve had it at Peel Pub in Montreal and it’s great pub food. If this place wasn’t the size of a broom closet and I could guarantee a place to sit, I would definitely try that next. But standing around on the street with a cone of hot fries and gravy is just too much of a hassle for me. They definitely need a much bigger seating area.

  1. No, it doesn’t take much. [↩]
  2. Although there’s no way I’m getting pizza from a coffee shop/bakery. [↩]
  3. BTW, in a Jewish deli, Russian dressing is very similar to thousand island dressing. In the lazier ones it’s identical. But it looks or tastes nothing like the bottles of Russian dressing you see in the supermarket, which appear to be a combination of ketchup and sweet and sour sauce. [↩]

Tags: , , , ,

Single Guy Chef: Kalua Pork

June 6, 2009 in Food by archangel | 2 comments

Kalua Pork (or pig) is one of my favorite Hawaiian dishes. It’s a smokey, salty pulled pork dish served over white rice, with optional katsu sauce.1 When I found out how you make it, I was stunned at how easy it is.2 It takes a long time to cook, and there’s some work involved, but it requires no skilled labor, much less murdering a pig with a knife while sobbing. In fact, I thought it was some half-assed way to make it, but a friend who is very wise in the ways of Hawaiian cooking told me nope, that’s the way everyone makes it on the island.3 And after making it, I can honestly say it matches the one at my favorite Hawaiian restaurant. Kick ass!
Read the rest of this entry »

  1. Thanks to Agent Doubledeuce for the tip. [↩]
  2. But don’t worry, I’ll still explain it to you like you were held back a few times. [↩]
  3. Not counting those supermen who actually dig a hole, add fire, and roast the whole pig all at once. [↩]

Tags: , ,

The Best Post-Workout Protein Shakes

April 5, 2009 in Everything Else, Food by archangel | 4 comments

Last Update: 9/2

As I am wont to do, I was reading about nutrition in an effort to procrastinate on… well, everything, but one of those things was actually working out. This effort was successful, even though it does motivate me to actually work out just so I can apply what I’ve learned.

In this case, I’ve determined best protein shakes to take post-workout,1 which isn’t as simple as you might think. The basic answer is whey, because it’s absorbed the quickest.2 When you finish your workout, your body can use protein right away to optimize recovery. But whey is still a vague answer, since there are so many different types and brands.

It turns out the best form of whey is called whey protein isolate (WPI), which is better than the concentrate. Anything that says “blend” is suspect. Not bad, per se, but not optimal. After that, you want to make sure that the protein is undenatured, which is kinda like saying it hasn’t been damaged during the collection process. If you see that the protein is manufactured via ion-exchange, the protein is denatured. Technically, you get more protein per scoop this way, but it’s less effective protein. Ironically, you’ll find several companies bragging that they use 100% ion-exchange WPI. What you’re looking for is some form of low temperature filtration process. You might see cross flow micro-filtration (CFM) specifically.

After that, I look for little to no soy, since soy inhibits testosterone production and can lower sperm count. I also want as little sugar and fat as possible. Note that you do want carbs post workout, so the protein is used for building muscles and not replenishing your blood sugars. And fats are important for generating testosterone. But I want control over what types of carbs and fats I eat.

Of course, it should also taste good, but that’s subjective. Some taste good in milk, but bad in water, but others are good all around. Using skim milk isn’t bad, but can double the calories. I suggest you start out with a small container, or find a place with a money-back satisfaction guarantee. I think most nutrition shops offer this, but ask. Once you find something you like, look for a bulk discount online.

Here is the list I came up with based on label information, supplemented with forum opinions. It’s not comprehensive, but I think I have most of the quality brands. There may be other products from the same brands that use the same protein, but double check.

All The Whey - Whey Protein Isolate
This is my preferred choice. I tried vanilla with the Micellar Casein,3 and it has a very light taste. Almost too light. When I added frozen berries, I needed to add a tablespoon of raspberry syrup. Cupcake Batter is sweet enough so that no syrup was necessary. I’ll add frozen blueberries and have a blueberry muffin smoothie, or frozen strawberries and make it strawberry shortcake. Another great flavor is Cinnamon Bun. This tastes more like cinnamon coffee cake, but I love that, too. One of my favorite new post workout shakes is cinnamon bun whey, skim milk, 1/2 an apple (cut up and frozen), and a packet of instant, steel cut oatmeal with flax. It’s like drinking an cinnamon apple cake! But it’s also the best flavor to drink with just skim milk. And I’ve heard some people add it to their hot oatmeal, which I’ll have to try.

Allmax Nutrition - IsoFlex I picked this up in Chocolate. Later, I noticed it the label said “with real chocolate chips” and thought, wouldn’t they just sink to the bottom? They sink to the bottom. I guess it’s good if you’re throwing it in the blender with ice, otherwise you just eat them at the end, which does leave a better taste in your mouth. Yes, it does mix in water, but it doesn’t taste that great that way. I had to either use skim milk, or use water but add a splash of fat-free half and half. So far, Muscle Milk is the only thing that tastes decent in water, but it also has a lot of fat and sugar.

4ever Fit - Whey Protein Isolate In fruit flavors.
4ever Fit - 4ever Whey In traditional shake flavors (chocolate/vanilla).
Syntrax - Nectar/Sweets Nectars are fruit flavors, Sweets are dessert flavored. Fuzzy Navel, Roadside Lemonade, and Green Apple seem to be favorites.
VPX - Zero Carb Protein
Universal - Ultra Iso Whey
Bioplex - Pure WPI
Pure Nutrition - Whey Protein Isolate Not the same as above, and uses a natural sweetener I’ve never heard of.
Applied Delivery Systems - Lean Mass Builder

Ultimate Nutrition products look good on paper, but I’ve read a few bad reviews regarding taste.

Here are my references:

The Whey It Is: The Truth About Whey Protein by Will Brink
Soy health risks for men at Wikipedia

  1. Or other athletic activity, preferably within 30 minutes. [↩]
  2. There might be some super-protein out there that’s better, but I couldn’t find any overwhelming evidence pointing to anything specific. The data backing whey, however, is pretty extensive. [↩]
  3. I picked up casein mainly to curb hunger, but then I read that whey is better for that. Makes sense, since it’s digested faster. [↩]

Tags: ,

When you think authentic Chinese food, what name comes to mind? That’s right! Sullivan: the name you’ve come to trust for authentic Chinese food.

Sullivan Authentic Chinese Cuisine

Visit our sister restaurants at O’Grady’s Fine Italian Dining and McDonald’s Ethiopian Cuisine.

February 22, 2009 by archangel | No comments

Single Guy Chef: Cold-Brewed Iced Coffee

February 18, 2009 in Food by archangel | 1 comment

I dig coffee. Specifically, espresso drinks with milk and sugary flavorings. People are always suggesting that I brew coffee at home, but I hate brewed coffee as it tastes so watery, and if you add enough milk to fix that, it tastes too weak. Then they suggest that I buy an espresso machine. Then I explain that I don’t drag them to coffee shops for the coffee, I’m there for the birdwatching. If buying an espresso machine would bring hot girls into my living room, I’d do that. Unfortunately, I doubt even a $10,000 La Marzocco would have that effect.

And sometimes I just need caffeine, but there’s nobody around to ogle girls with me. Then the coffee house suddenly feels much farther away (if it’s even open), and $4 feels overpriced when you’re not staying to enjoy the view. In these situations, I was getting by with a packet of hot chocolate and some instant coffee, but that’s less than satisfying.

Then I learned about cold-brewed coffee. It doesn’t require any expensive equipment and results in coffee that is 67% less acidic. It’s smoother and tastes better and can be stored for 2-3 weeks in the fridge. It’s also so strong it can be used as an espresso substitute in iced coffees, which amazingly taste like a real iced latte (or in my case, iced white mocha).

The concept is simple: You add 2 parts filtered water to 1 part coarse ground coffee, wait 12 hours, then filter out the grounds. You’re left with coffee concentrate.

The easiest way to cold brew is to use a Toddy Cold Brew System for about $30 at Amazon. It takes a pound of coffee and yields about 6 cups. Toddy has been making these systems for about 40 years and they’re very highly rated.

Next easiest would be to use a 12-cup French press (4 cups coffee to 8 cups water) and pour it into a glass pitcher. However, this is only good if you already have the French press, as you could buy two Toddy systems for the same price. And if your press isn’t good about filtering all the grounds, you’ll have to pour it through a paper filter.

Finally, there is my “what do I already have?” ghetto brewing system:

Equipment:

  • 4 cup Pyrex measuring cup1
  • Fine-mesh sieve
  • Paper coffee filters
  • Coffee machine grounds basket2
  1. Combine 1 cup of ground coffee and 2 cups filtered water in the measuring cup. The coffee will float, so use a spoon or fork to gently mix it so the grounds are completely wet.
  2. Cover the measuring cup with plastic wrap and let it sit at room temperature for 12 hours.
  3. Put the filter in the coffee ground basket. Pour the coffee through the sieve into the basket.
  4. Dump the remainder of the grinds and rinse out the measuring cup. Place the cup under the basket spout and hold it so the coffee drains into the cup.

Iced White Mocha

First heat the coffee in the microwave for 20-30 seconds and add the white chocolate powder. Trying to dissolve the powder after adding cold milk is an exercise in futility (you’ll need a hand mixer).3 Add milk and ice to taste.

Tips:

  • I initially tried this with normally ground coffee and it turned out fine, as the paper filter removes all sediment. If you’re using a Toddy or French press, you’ll have to get the coarse grind.
  • You can wait up to 24 hours for a stronger brew, but it will also have higher acid and caffeine levels and hence taste more bitter. I like the concept of more caffeine, but not at the expense of smoothness. If it’s not strong enough, you’re better off just using a bolder roast or less water.
  • I find it’s easiest to prepare it at night and finish it in the morning. If you do it late on a weekend, you should have enough for the week.
  • Check out Smart & Final for a great selection of syrups and coffee supplies.
  • I’ve never tried it, but many people simply add hot water to the concentrate to make a smoother brewed coffee that’s gentler on your stomach.
  1. You can get by with a plastic one. [↩]
  2. Make sure your basket has a spring loaded spout/drain stopper and not just a hole in the bottom. [↩]
  3. Syrup would mix better than powder, of course, but the white chocolate syrups go bad quickly (3 weeks) and are only sold in huge, restaurant-sized bottles. [↩]

Tags:

Smart & Final: Coffee Supply Mecca

February 18, 2009 in Food by archangel | 1 comment

I had been searching high and low for white chocolate syrup or powder to use in my cold-brewed iced coffee at home. Peet’s (the best), Coffee Bean, Starbucks, Ralphs, Vons, and even Trader Joes - no dice. Someone mentioned on the Interwebs that they found Ghirardelli powder at Smart & Final. If you’re not familiar with it, it’s a warehouse-style supermarket, like Costco or Sam’s Club without the membership fees or the riding mowers. Bulk items sold cheap. I figured there was little chance that the one near me would have it, but I gave it a shot.

Holy crap. They have everything. Four shelves hold almost every Torani syrup they make - and the pumps! Plus Ghirardelli syrups and powders in several forms. And a bunch of other brands. Literally half an aisle is devoted to “coffee supplies” - basically, everything you’d need to start your own coffee shop. And the prices are in line with Amazon, with no tax or shipping!

My mind reeled with the possibilities of recreating my favorite coffee drinks: the Cocomo (chocolate coconut) and Black Forrest Mocha (chocolate raspberry) from (the now defunct) Equator Coffee; the Mayan mocha from Diedrich’s/Kean; the white mocha from Bean Town. I was in heaven. And soon after that, a diabetic coma.

I ended up with a 3 lb. can of Ghirardelli Sweet Ground White Chocolate. I wanted the syrup, but I learned that Torani’s goes bad after 6 weeks, and Ghirardelli’s spoils after only 3.1 Did I mention these are 64 oz. bottles intended for restaurants? There’s no way I can crank through that so quickly, as I don’t drink it daily. As it is, I will probably be serving white chocolate from that 3 lb. can to my grandchildren.((Update: actually, it only lasted 4 months.)) I just wish I had the balls to bring it with me into Starbucks.

  1. This is specifically the “sauces” found in plastic bottles. The Torani syrups in glass bottles last much longer. [↩]

Tags:

Single Guy Chef: Newcastle Steak Chili

February 8, 2009 in Food by archangel | 2 comments

I’ve made chili several times with several different recipes, so I figured I could wing it and create something new. I was in the mood for a steak chili and this is what I came up with. It’s a very tasty, super hearty chili that should last you several days.

4 lb. beef roast, cut into 1/2″ cubes
I found sirloin tip on sale and used that. I was going to use tri-tip as that was cheaper, but it was already sold out. London broil could work, too. Avoid chuck. Cut out any fat and gristle/tough connective tissue when you’re dicing the beef.
2 bottles of Newcastle Brown Ale
1 large onion, diced
I used a 10 oz. package of pre-diced onions as I don’t have a food processor and hate dicing onions.
18 oz. of tomato paste
8 oz. tomato sauce
8 oz. salsa
Your choice, but it should be red (tomato) not green (chile or tomatillo). I used Pace Picante sauce, medium.
15 oz. can pinto beans, drained and rinsed
15 oz. can black beans, drained and rinsed
1/4 cup chili powder
There is a lot of variation here. I’m talking chili with an I, not chile with an E. The former is a spice blend - look at what it has in it and decide if you like it. The latter is a single spice; it will work, but it won’t taste as good. One note.
1 tbsp. garlic powder
1 tsp. garlic salt
1/4 tsp. ground black pepper
2 tbsp. olive oil

Optional:

diced chile peppers
Must be fresh, not canned. It will be faster to just buy a chunky salsa and add more of it.
cayenne pepper
Add to taste if it’s not hot enough. Again, you can just go with a hotter salsa and/or chili powder. My chili powder already has cayenne in it.

First, get everything ready. Dice, open cans, drain, rinse, measure spices, etc. This will lower your stress while cooking.

Dicing the beef will be a pain, but this is steak chili. You can ask your butcher if can do this. I doubt he can, but ask anyway. If he offers to grind it - even a chili grind - say no. Might as well buy ground beef if he’s going to do that. Instead, perhaps it’s time to pass those knife skills you’ve acquired on to a small child. Just remind them to let the knife do the cutting - don’t press hard. Hey, they gotta learn sometime.

Brown the beef in the olive oil over medium heat. Stir often, don’t cook it. There might be a little pink, but that’s better than overcooking it. Drain it.

Put it back on the stove and add the onions. Add just enough beer to cover it; for me that was 2 bottles. Bring it to a boil, then immediately lower the heat to a simmer. Simmer for 10 minutes, stirring often to remove carbonation. This will tenderize the beef, allowing you to buy cheaper cuts.

Stir in the other ingredients (in this order for best results). Mix it up good before adding the next ingredient:
tomato paste
tomato sauce
salsa
chili powder (don’t dump it all at once)
garlic powder
garlic salt
beans

Simmer for an hour, stirring every 10 minutes.

At this point, you can eat it. However, it will taste better if you let it cool and throw it in the fridge overnight. The flavors combine and intensify overnight, so unless you find it way too bland, don’t add anything until the next day.

Tags: , ,

Sushi Restaurant Etiquette Guide

January 21, 2009 in Food, Humor by archangel | 4 comments

I have studied Japanese and eaten at many, many Japanese/sushi restaurants, yet I learned several new things from this video:

Tags: , ,

Single Guy Chef: Barbecue Tri-tip Roast

October 27, 2008 in Food by archangel | No comments

Since there was a request for the BBQ version of the tri-tip oven roast, here it is. (It might help you to read that recipe first.)

First, prepare the BBQ rub. I like this Carolina BBQ rub that I originally made for pulled pork. I found it works well on beef, too. The only change I made was using pure ancho chile powder instead of your garden variety chili powder. This was suggested by a couple chefs and I think it turned out well, but if you already have the regular stuff then use it. You are nothing if not practical. And lazy.

Trim the roast, and then sprinkle on the rub liberally and rub it in. Let it marry in the fridge overnight. Don’t worry, this is an acceptable union under the current law; it’s not like a man marrying a box turtle. Take the roast out half an hour before grilling so it comes to room temp.

For cooking times, follow the recommendations in your manual, esp. if it’s a Weber. My Weber manual was quite accurate, definitely more than the one for my Viking range. Like all roasts, it will be medium indirect, and it will benefit from smoke. Try mesquite. Avoid tobacco. And don’t flip it while grilling.

One problem I had while taking its temperature is that heat from the grill messed with my digital thermometer. I had to remove it from the grill while checking the temp. Of course, use a meat thermometer, not an oral or rectal one. In fact, if using either of those is even possible, your butcher has executed an elaborate ruse at your expense. Always remember: a tri-tip roast has neither a mouth nor an anus. Words to live by.

Tags: , , ,

Single Guy Chef: Tri-tip Burritos

October 26, 2008 in Food by archangel | 3 comments

I saw that tri-tip is about $2/lb. so I thought I’d try my hand at that. Turns out it’s very easy. I’d made it on the grill before and the oven is about the same, minus the good smokey flavor and slightly easier cleanup.

First, get a 3-4 lb. tri-tip roast. Remove the fat. If you’re lazy or short on time you can buy pre-trimmed roasts, but at double the price. $4 a pound??? We’re not Trump here. Once again, the fat removed was about the size of my fist.

Next, preheat the oven to 325. My oven has Bake and Convection Bake settings, but you preheat a lot faster if you start with Bake.

While the oven is preheating you season the meat, which is ridiculously easy. Get yourself some Old World Steak seasoning, which is made by Fire Roasted Creations. OK, it’s not always easy to find. I got mine at Barbeques Galore and you can order it online here. Yes, it’s definitely worth the effort of tracking it down. If you absolutely don’t have time to obtain it, you can substitute McCormick’s Montreal Steak seasoning. It’s more peppery and the flavor is less complex, but it will do in a pinch. Just sprinkle it over the meat, then tap it in with the back of the tongs or a metal spoon. Flip it and repeat. Do this about 10 minutes before baking.

Place the roast on that broiler pan that came with your oven. It might be in that drawer underneath that you never knew existed. You can use a roasting pan, but only if you’re NOT convection baking. Convection baking, which cooks food faster and seals in juices better, requires a very shallow pan so the air can circulate better.

Since this is a roast, you’re shooting for medium, or 145F. Since roasts continue to cook after you’ve removed the heat, you stop when your meat thermometer reads about 140F. To obtain this ideal temperature, put the roast in the oven and set the timer to some random number. I say this because my Viking manual says a 3-4 lb. roast should be done in 30 minutes on convection bake or 35 minutes on bake, and that wasn’t even close. After 30 minutes it read 121F, or mooooo. Another 10 minutes brought it to 131, and another 15 after that brought it to 150. This is at the thickest part of the roast, so it was between medium and medium well, which is a little more done than I’d like it, but good enough.

OK, so the timer should be set for 40 minutes if convection baking and 50 for normal baking, assuming you’re using my oven.

When the desired temperature is reached let the roast sit for 20 minutes. Again, the temperature continues to rise 5-10 degrees while the juices move from the center outward, resulting in more uniformly juicy slices. Slice it thin.

Since meat alone isn’t very filling, I made simple burritos with Spanish rice. All you need to pick up is a box of Zatarains Spanish Rice mix, a 14.5oz can of crushed tomatoes, and some “I Can’t Believe This Shit Ain’t Butter!” or any butter-like substance that isn’t found in your bathroom. Follow the directions on the box - it’s dead simple.

Pick up a pack of Guerrero-brand burrito tortillas or whatever your local tortilleria sells. Before filling, preheat a large skillet to medium, then heat one side for 15 seconds and the other for 10. Fill with the rice and meat and roll like the Mexican ladies at Chipotle. If the meat is on the dry side (or even if it isn’t), you can add sour cream and/or shredded cheese.

Once again, you’ve got dinner for the week! Just remember that the tortillas have to be refrigerated, too.

Tags: , , ,

Single Guy Chef: Italian Beef

October 10, 2008 in Food by archangel | 2 comments

Single guys like eating, but generally don’t like cooking. If they do cook, it’s usually on the grill where cleanup is as easy as turning the grill on high and brushing off the cinders. Unfortunately at my new place the grill sucks, and since I quit my job I’m cooking more. So I’m going to share some of the wisdom and experience I get in this new venture. You’ll find the directions are explicit, made for other single guys who have zero cooking experience. Of course, this means the recipes will be much longer than usual, so don’t be scared. The prep and cleanup are easy.

Italian Beef
My friend Jonathan turned me on to Portillo’s, a Chicago chain originally famous for hot dogs. I asked him what to get and he suggested the combo sandwich, which is a combination of Italian beef and sausage. I’ve since gone back many times and never wavered from this selection - just don’t forget to add cheese fries.

So I found a recipe on allrecipes.com (which appears to be the best recipe site out there) for Italian beef, citing a certain Chicago chain as the inspiration. Was this, perhaps, Portillo’s??? No. Not even close. Don’t get your hopes up. But it is a damn good beef sandwich, an Italian version of the French dip, and it’s dead simple to make. It requires a crock pot, but I’m finding this is an essential single guy kitchen appliance. So get one if you don’t have one - they’re cheap.
Read the rest of this entry »

Tags: , , ,

Fixing Stinky Ice

September 19, 2008 in Food by archangel | 4 comments

A couple days ago I dumped all my ice because it smelled like, oh, garlic-flavored ball sweat. This is neither the flavor nor aroma I want in my beverages. So I made a new batch a few days ago and guess what? It stinks, too.

I know, I need one of those boxes of baking soda for the freezer (there’s one in the refrigerator and most of my frozen food is in sealed bags), but that doesn’t help me right now. Then I thought about how fresh ice doesn’t taste bad, as it doesn’t have time to absorb the odors. Maybe a little while freezing, but ice freezes from the outside in.

So I tried a simple experiment: I threw in 2-3 times the ice I needed in a colander and ran it under water until it shrunk to about half volume. Amazingly, it worked! You can actually wash the stink off of ice. Now my iced tea tastes like tea and not Shaq’s jock after a trip to The Stinking Rose and a playoff game. Huzzah!

I know this seems completely obvious, but I’ve never witnessed anyone doing this or talking about it, so I thought I’d throw it out there.

Weber Spirit 310: The Best Cheap Gas Grill You Can Buy

June 16, 2008 in Food by archangel | 3 comments

Update 6/30/2009: Thanks to my new roommate, I now have some serious hands-on experience with this grill. I still stand by my recommendation (and more importantly, everyone has remained happy with their purchase), but I’m amending some of my statements. See the additional text in italics.

A couple friends have asked me what cheap gas grills I recommend. This is not familiar territory, as I’m usually off dreaming about the Weber Summit. [ Weber ] [ Amazon ]

Weber Summit S-650

It’s the only grill I know of with a pull-out smoker box with it’s own burner. When you’re doing traditional slow and low barbecue and have to add wood chips every 1/2 hour, it’s a dream come true. But it’s also around $1,500 - not cheap.

If you want a cheap (around $400) gas grill that’s also high quality, you only have one choice: the Weber Spirit E-310. [ Weber ] [ Amazon ]

Weber Spirit E-310

IMHO, everything else is a poor investment. Here’s why.
Read the rest of this entry »

Tags: , ,

Crank Is Bad For Your Tank

June 3, 2008 in Food by archangel | No comments

This summer, when you fill your empty propane tank with anhydrous ammonia to make a delicious batch of methamphetamine, you could be damaging your tank! Smart meth-heads are using tanks they get from tank exchange programs like Blue Rhino. If you see a blue/green residue on your tank’s fittings, it’s time to turn it into your local tank exchange - whether it be in Riverside County or San Bernadino County - so it can blow up in some other asshole’s face. Remember, a smoldering trailer is a sad trailer. If you don’t believe me, take it from Hank Hill.

Tags:

Free WiFi at Starbucks

June 3, 2008 in Food, Technology by archangel | 2 comments

Starbucks is now giving away 2 hours of free wifi per day. Yeah, there’s a catch. From USA Today:

The Wi-Fi freebie will be available starting Tuesday to customers who purchase a minimum $5 reloadable Starbucks Card, register online for the Starbucks Rewards Card program, and use the card at least once a month. The two hours must be consecutive. New members also receive a voucher for a free drink.

Also, if you register your gift card, you get perks:

Rewards program members who register online already receive free syrup and milk options with drinks as well as free refills of hot and iced brewed coffees and a free drink when they buy a pound of coffee beans.

Full article here.

Tags: , ,

Coolio was on Kevin and Bean this morning, promoting Cookin’ With Coolio. They asked him if he’d do weddings, bar mitzvahs, etc. and Coolio said yes. When they were surprised at this, Coolio clarified: “Everything is for sale, it’s just not on sale.” I dig it. He’s no different from Jay-Z, Sir Elton John, and every other superstar who accepts ridiculous fees to do private parties. It’s just a matter of negotiating the price.

April 11, 2008 by archangel | 2 comments

Kwik-E-Mart

July 7, 2007 in Food, Television by archangel | 6 comments


For the Simpsons movie, several 7-11s have been converted to Kwik-E-Marts. Finally, a reason to go to Burbank! And there’s one in LA, too. They’ve got all sorts of cool Simpsons products, like Frosted Krusty-Os, Squishees, Buzz Cola, and doughnuts with pink frosting and sprinkles. If they have half a brain, they’ll stay like that forever. The page for the photo set lists several other locations, so cross your fingers, maybe there’s one in your area of the country.

Due to a recent conversation, I decided to look up restaurant closures in my area. It was surprisingly simple, I just Googled “ restaurant closures” (Firefox helpfully suggested “closures” instead of “closings”) and it was the top result. I didn’t find any restaurants I frequent, but there were some chains I go to that had some locations closed.

February 20, 2007 by archangel | No comments

Flat Iron Steak

January 7, 2007 in Food by archangel | 4 comments

Flat iron steak is a new cut of beef that was invented just a few years ago. I had no idea you could invent a steak, but researchers at the University of Nebraska and University of Florida they did just that. Basically, they were studying the cheap meats you normally don’t consider, and discovered that the “top blade” roast could be made into some damn good steaks if you removed the part that resembled shoe leather. The one I bought was about 12″ x 5″ x 1″ thick, and weighed 1.3 lbs. Of course, size isn’t everything.

I first heard about flat iron while reading about restaurants in Orange County that serve Kobe beef (aka Wagyu). Then I caught Stephen Raichlen expounding on it on Barbecue University (definitely worth watching if you’re a griller like me; his books are great, too). As Raichlen explains, the flat iron is second only to filet mignon in tenderness! And it’s cheap - I paid a little only $4/lb! And yes, it tastes good.

The one I bought was about 12″ x 5″ x 1″ thick, and weighed 1.3 lbs. Of course, size isn’t everything. I grilled it with just coarse Kosher salt, ground black pepper, and olive oil. I was shooting for medium rare, but it swelled up and came out closer to rare. Some steaks are tough if not cooked enough, but like a tenderloin or ribeye, this was still tender. And the flavor was decent, too. Filet mignon is known for not being very flavorful, which is why they serve it in sizzling herb butter at Ruth’s Chris, or wrap it in bacon, or wrap it in puff pastry with foie gras and truffles (Beef Wellington). And all of those fantastic recipes are why flat iron cannot replace tenderloin in the world of fine cuisine.

I don’t think flat iron is as tasty as ribeye, but boneless ribeye is 2-3 times more expensive and obscenely fatty. Granted, that’s why it’s so tasty, but it’s horrible for you unless you’re on some ultra-low-carb diet. And even then, it should be eaten sparingly.

I also like strip steak, skirt steak, and tri-tip, but when you factor in price and fat content, it’s hard to justify any other steak over flat iron for regular eating.

Edit: I recommend cutting the steak into 2-3 smaller steaks to speed cooking. I did a whole one (almost two pounds) and it easily doubled the cooking time.

Tags:

Diedrich Sells Out

October 7, 2006 in Food by archangel | No comments

Life is not fair. It is just not friggin fair. I just found out that Diedrich Coffee is selling 40 of its 47 company-owned stores. To Starbucks! First they buy Seattle’s Best Coffee, now Diedrich. It’s a cryin’ shame.

Starbucks plans to assimilate all the stores and regular employees. Managers will be invited to apply for assimilation. At least with SBC, the stores were left untouched. I’m guessing this is due in part to the fact that they’re both Seattle-based based companies, and the good, independent-minded people of Seattle wouldn’t stand for it (i.e., they’d be a slight public-relations nuissance). But more importantly, Starbucks bought the entire SBC corporation. In Diedrich’s case, they’re only buying (most of) the stores, so there will still be a few operated by Diedrich and franchisees.

But you’re totally screwed if you’re in California! Two car dealer coffee kiosks are all that’s left. I am not making that up.

Unfortunately, this was a rather simple decision for Diedrich. They have two main businesses: wholesale coffee sales, and coffee shops. The former is profitable, and the latter is not. They’ve been posting losses, mainly due to their coffee shops. Since they’re a public corporation, their duty is to maximize value to their shareholders. Ergo, they sold out like Metallica.

This hits me particularly hard because I’ve always harbored a fantasy that I might one day own my own coffee shop. If a major chain like Diedrich, which has both excellent coffee and pastries (surprisingly rare), can’t make it, what chance do I have? Granted, my shop would be modeled more closely to uber-cool independent shops like The Bourgeois Pig, albeit with a name you actually spell (probably). Now I’ll have to work extra hard at making it obscenely cool. This does not bode well for my lazy ass.

Tags:

While Carls, Jr. is one of my favorite fast food joints, I just had one of their “hand scooped” ice cream shakes - cookies and cream - and it had NO flavor. In addition, the consistency led me to believe they simply take ice cream and add WATER instead of milk! Ugh. Just avoid.

August 30, 2006 by archangel | No comments

Here’s a fascinating little story about how Nestle made KitKat the candy king in Japan. As KitKat is my favorite movie candy (which has disappeared from most theatre chains, the bastards), I applaud their effort. Kitto Katsu!

June 27, 2006 by archangel | No comments

Delocator is an independent coffee shop and cafe finder. I have had plans to do something similar for a long time now, albeit a bit more grandiose. I still may go through with them, or perhaps collaborate, but this does the job for now.

June 15, 2006 by archangel | No comments

Forgotten Foods

June 7, 2006 in Everything Else, Food by thinktank1 | 4 comments

It seems like my luck with food is roughly the same as my luck with television. On the one hand, I pride myself on having simple, but good, taste; on the other, any time I find myself starting to like something, it gets yanked or cancelled. And for every “Andy Richter Controls the Universe,” or “Boomtown” that’s out there, there’s a corresponding food that I’ve enjoyed–some prepackaged, some not–that you can’t find any more to save your life. So here’s my top five:

  1. Snapple sodas: It used to be you could get something fizzy made “from the best stuff on earth.” Creative flavors, too. In addition to having a credible root beer (ie. good, but not as good as Stewart’s), they had flavors like Peach Melba, Cherry Lime Rickey, and Chocolate soda. Now that I think of it, any chocolate soda I’ve liked, from the Snapple to the inferior one put out by Arizona for a short time, has vanished from the shelves.
  2. Doritos flavors: It’s bad enough that they changed the formula for Doritos, so much so that they now taste closer to every other nacho chip out there. What’s worse is some of the past types that they don’t make any more. Some varieties’ passing–eg. pizza–I can’t say that I minded so much. But others, like Jumpin’ Jack flavor (much better than the current Pepper Jack) I really miss. The other old favorite, referenced in song* and story, is Taco flavored Doritos. They come and go like an old flame. They’re there for a bit, just long enough to get your hopes up, and then they vanish again, leaving you feeling cheated and just a little pissed.
  3. Peanut Butter Boppers: I’m not sure quite how to describe these. Think of… uh… well, it looked like a turd festooned with cookie crumbs. Maybe somebody was raiding the Keebler Elves’ outhouse or something. But still, they were tasty, and for a couple of years, I went through them like I now go through cigarettes… probably the reason that I am the fine, strapping specimen that I am now.
  4. Chicken Gyro, circa 1996: I’m not saying that you can’t walk into practically any place owned/run by Greeks or anyone else from the vicinity of the Mediterranean and get a chicken gyro. I’m saying that this chicken gyro would have made God Himself salivate uncontrollably. This, you see, wasn’t just a bunch of mechanically separated chicken,** formed into a cone and sliced onto a pita with some wilted lettuce, sad onions, and tomatoes stiffer than this morning’s erection. Oh, no. This was marinated chicken chunks, fresh greens, hummus, tabouleh, and tahini, expertly piled onto the pita by some Algerian guy in a little place in East Rutherford that became substandard Sushi takeout soon after. This was the sandwich-as-religious-experience.
  5. Dinner at Grandma’s: Whether it was fish dinner on Fridays (what do you want from a family of Irish Catholics?), her rice pudding, or a spaghetti that I have tried to duplicate but couldn’t (and this even using the same ingredients, as far as I can remember), I think that this is the one I miss the most. This isn’t to say that my grandmother was Julia Child; but I’ll miss those potato pancakes long after the taste of all the supposed “fine dining” has faded.

*Song, at least: “Fish On” by Primus.         

**Like they use in Slim Jims. I shit you not; read the ingredients.

Man, Am I a Capitalist (And a Consumer)

May 11, 2006 in Food by archangel | 5 comments

I was driving in nearby Huntington Beach when I see two guys on a streetcorner, holding a large banner that read, “Boycott Cheesecake Factory” and in smaller letters “Unfair Labor Practices”. As a generous man, sensitive to the plight of the average worker, my immediate thought was, “We’re getting a Cheesecake Factory? Awesome! And they’re tough on labor to keep costs down? Double awesome!”
     So, yeah, I’m a selfish bastard. But mainly, I love The Cheesecake Factory. MasterChief will vouch for this, we probably gave them thousands while we were in Pasadena. As the next closest one is 30 minutes away (without traffic) in a chick mall, I’m stoked. And this one is in a new, upscale shopping center with Century Theatres, Barnes & Noble, and Starbucks. If they can just build a food court for the takeout restaurants, they’ll be set. (Note to Bella Terra: outdoor mall in ocean town == freezing wind tunnel == crappy/nonexistent dining experience)

Nice try, but YUCK!

April 26, 2006 in Food by masterchief | 1 comment

I love a good gyro, and I love Arby’s fast food, but damn, their new gyro is just not good. I am sure that there were some skinny people in California that used words like fabulous or delightful to describe it in taste testing, but they were wrong. It is none of these. Now, the cheese filled potato things with bacon chunks were GREAT, but I would probably enjoy cheese filled cat turds with that much bacon mixed in. Can’t understand how a place that gets so much on there menu so right could drop the ball on a gyro!

Tags:

Starbucks Short and the 3-pump White Mocha

March 6, 2006 in Food by archangel | 6 comments

Crack Team Agents have discovered a new way to order Starbucks coffee, hidden from the general public. It is the Short, and it is an 8oz. cup with a single shot of espresso (for espresso drinks, of course). This gives it a coffee:milk ratio of 1 shot:8 oz., the same as the Grande. If you are like me, you occasionally want less than a Grande, but don’t like the watered down taste of a Tall with it’s 1:12 ratio. The short gives the same, balanced flavor as the Grande. I should also point out that the 20 oz. Venti only has 2 shots, giving it a ratio of 1:10; better than a Tall, but still a bit weak. Even a Grande can taste watered down if they overfill the milk. I am consistently amazed at how inconsistent some baristas are.
     While I’m here, I also found a good way to order a White Chocolate Mocha, which I find has gotten much sweeter than when first released. Since a Grande takes 4 pumps of syrup, you can order a “3-pump white mocha” and get the original, more reasonably sweetened drink. Again, your mileage may vary.

Tags: ,

Operation: Soda Pop

February 28, 2006 in Food by archangel | 4 comments

On or around 12.30.2005, Agents Bladerunner, Renegade, and I infiltrated Galco’s Soda Pop Stop in Los Angeles. Posing as regular customers, we obtained many different varieties of sodas, and even held discussions with the owner, without ever being suspected as agents of The Crack Team. We were on full alert, and brought along two civilians to enhance our cover.
     This storefront contains possibly the largest selection of carbonated beverages, including sodas, energy drinks, beers, and everything in between. It is owned and operated by soda savant John Nese, who whenever possible stocks beverages that are flavored with real cane sugar and are bottled, not canned. There is a dizzying array of beverages, including many that have had large gaps in production, and have only recently been revived. They also have a selection of classic candies, such as Beemans Chewing Gum, the official gum of the astronauts of The Right Stuff. The store has been featured in many articles and on the History Channel’s Modern Marvels (When Renegade pointed out to Nese that most of his products were not modern, Nese countered with, “Well, they are a marvel.” The Crack Team agrees.)
     Overall, the mission was a great success. This was expected, since “Soda Pop” has three syllables. Sufficient time has passed for me to analyze the results of this Crack Team reconnaissance mission. I had assistance from Agents Hulagun and Assassin for a few of these.

Bawls
This is an energy drink flavored by a highly caffeinated berry known as guarana (Go ahead, make a guano joke. It will only be the millionth time I’ve heard it.) Some people find guarana doesn’t make them jittery (or bother their stomachs) like caffeine, but still keeps them awake. I admit, it was a much gentler stimulant, but I usually go for an energy drink when I want to WAKE UP NOW. I first heard about it on ThinkGeek.com, they’re big on energy drinks. Frankly, I thought it had a strange medicinal taste, and the guarana fruit flavor is hard to describe. Tolerable, sure, but I wouldn’t drink it again. The diet version tastes very similar, but again, not very good. I do dig the cobalt blue bottle, though.

Belfast Original Sparkling Cider
Created in San Francisco in 1849, the label claims it is California’s first soft drink. Tastes just like a carbonated version of the apple juice I drank as a kid. I noticed it is artificially flavored and contains no juice, so I was surprised how they got it to taste just like that apple juice. Then I realized I probably grew up on artificially flavored apple juice. If you really liked that stuff, you’ll like this, too, but I prefer Martinelli’s Sparkling Cider. That’s made with 100% real juice, and you can taste the difference.

Bubble Up
An old time lemon lime soda originally introduced in 1920, it’s glass bottled and sweetened with cane sugar. To me, most notable was the light, tiny bubble carbonation style. Good overall, with a cool retro bottle, but not a big standout.

Clearly Canadian Blackberry
A special soda for me. For a couple years in college, I had one just about every day with my lunch. Back then they had really interesting (and surprisingly delicious) flavors like Loganberry, which I just found out is a rasberry/blackberry hybrid. In 2004 they changed their formula from sugar flavored to a 50/50 cane sugar/Splenda mix. I tried the blackberry, and it’s still pretty good, but not as good as the original. Big surprise. They also cut down on the number of flavors. I just wish I knew about the switch beforehand so I could have stocked up on the original.

Coca Cola
A standard, but note that Galco’s only stocks Coke and Pepsi from Mexico, flavored with real sugar in glass bottles. Tastes a little different, but good. In SoCal you can also get them in most Mexican supermarkets like Ranchito. It is important to note that like in America, the label says it might contain corn syrup, but it does not (like ours never contains sugar because corn syrup is always cheaper).

Jeff’s Amazing New York Egg Cream
An egg cream is chocolate milk and seltzer, usually heavy on the chocolate syrup. Get them at a good Jewish deli and they’re damn good, despite the off-putting name. Finding the bottled version was pretty rare when I was in HS, so they were something of a treat. I can recall the label warning you not to shake them, but the chocolate syrup had settled to the bottom, so you had no choice. The syrup still settles, but now I realize you can gently tilt it back and forth, or move it in a swirling motion, to mix it without having it spray everywhere when you open it. Unfortunately, they don’t taste as good as I remember them. More of that artificial flavor creeping in. I tried chocolate and coffee, and Bladerunner tried chocolate and vanilla. Just didn’t do it for us. Stick with the delis, you can’t go wrong.

Manhattan Special Espresso Coffee
I was pretty skeptical of this one, even though a journalist doing a story on Galco’s said it was his favorite. Overall, it’s mixed. It does taste good, just a sweet, carbonated coffee taste. For the record, I don’t drink straight espresso or brewed coffees, they’re too strong for me. I stick with the lattes, mochas, etc., but down them daily. The problem is that over the course of the bottle, the flavor kinda got to be too much for me. Maybe I just drank it too slowly. Nese claimed that Manhattan Special is a very hands on bottler; they even roast their own beans. It just came off as too much of a good thing. Ooh. I bet this would make a great vanilla latte ice cream float.

Manhattan Special Vanilla Cream
A winner in my book, and I’m starting to wonder how a company like this can stay in business for over 100 years without anyone knowing about them (yes, I’m anyone). I am not really a fan of cream sodas, but this tastes just like vanilla ice cream. Again, all natural ingredients, flavored with pure cane sugar and real vanilla beans that you can see in the soda (but just a tiny bit). Assassin, who is a big cream soda fan, didn’t like this one too much. Go figure.

Moxie Original Elixir
Another one of those old time sodas (”Since 1884″) that Renegade could remember seeing in billboard ads drawn in Mad Magazine cityscape cartoons. I also read that it’s very big in New England. Unfortunately, it took a very short time to discover why this is an elixir and not a soda. It has a strong medicinal aftertaste, which comes from “gentian root extractives”. Nese explained that gentian root is the secret ingredient in Coke, but obviously Coke uses way less. Hulagun and I gave it a big thumbs down, but Assassin said it tasted like root beer. It is important to note that Assassin had just finished 3 regular (non-root) beers, and that might have affected his taste buds.

Original Nehi Grape
After seeing Radar O’Reilly constantly order them on M*A*S*H, I was excited to try it. However, the words “Artificially Flavored Soda” are prominent on the label, and you can really taste it. Kind of reminded me of those tiny wax bottles of syrup you’d bite the top off of and drink, and it almost had a waxy taste to it. I wonder if it was artificial when it was created in 1924.

Plantation Style Mint Julep
This has a great, real mint flavor that reminds me of the strong scent that would burst from the ground when I’d hit a mint patch with the lawnmower. Smooth and not overpowering; in other words, it doesn’t taste like carbonated Scope. One of my grandmother’s favorite desserts is vanilla ice cream with a little Creme de Menthe poured over it. I’m thinking this would be great for a vanilla/mint ice cream soda, kinda like a Shamrock Shake (which is just McDonald’s artificial vanilla milkshake with mint syrup). So, on second thought, maybe a lot better than a Shamrock Shake. The web site has a recipe listing.

Red Rock Premium Cola
This was one of the best of the bunch. Nese tells us it was Babe Ruth’s favorite cola, and that unlike Coke, the formula is pretty much unchanged from it’s introduction in 1885 (also in Atlanta). It had a very subtle vanilla flavor to it, but don’t think vanilla coke. Just a smoother flavor, and yet another flavored with pure cane sugar. I would easily take this over Coke.

That’s all for now, I’ll report again after our next mission.

Tags: ,

Caffeine Disinformation

November 13, 2005 in Food by archangel

I am a caffiend. It is my chosen vice, as I don’t drink, smoke, or partake of controlled substances. My other vice is hot, hot ladies, but I’ve found they’re harder to obtain than caffeine-laden beverages. However, both are often found in the same places. So I’ve got that going for me.
     I also pride myself on being a fountain of useless knowledge, but recently my caffeine knowledge has been called into question. I have found most people are very confident about their caffeine knowledge (including me), but that confidence is almost certainly misplaced. This is because most information on caffeine is obtained “tribally”; in other words, it was passed on by word of mouth, and I have found that key details are often missing, and assumptions are being made. Again, I don’t exclude myself, so I’m here to show my useless knowledge is at least correct.
     One of the big problems is that we might not be talking about the same thing. For instance, there are several charts explaining how much caffeine is in a substance. However, they often make no mention of the amount used for the test, or normalize the results (i.e., list mg/fl. oz.). At home, we might use 8 oz. (1 cup) for coffee and tea, but most coffee shops won’t sell you less than 12 oz (bless their hearts!), and some caffeine listings give a serving as 6 oz.. More to the point, it has been shown that the same person, using the same equipment and process, will have varying amounts of caffeine in what he/she brews! If you’ve ever tried to consistently measure a teaspoon of tea leaves, this makes a lot of sense.
     I’m particulary interested in espresso vs. brewed coffee, another area rife with disinformation. The difficulty here is in getting consistent numbers for 1 serving (shot) of espresso, which can be 1-2oz., so we’re already off by up to a factor of 2. The charts I found list espresso as having more caffeine per ounce than brewed coffee, although I have read previously they are equal; I can’t find that site now. But it also seems consistent since you get so much more brewed coffee in a serving, it can be more potent. Most of the data shows that a 16 oz. brewed coffee will offer more caffeine than a 16 oz. latte, with 2 shots of espresso. Another factor (not mentioned in the reports), is that you’re also getting 12 oz. of milk in that latte, which could slow the processing of caffeine.
     Perhaps the most widespread misconception lies in coffee vs. tea. All charts I found show tea to have less caffeine than coffee (about half). However, most people I know believe the opposite, which is particularly ironic since they’re very bright, and most of them are scientists or engineers who pride themselves on being well informed (and if they read this article, they will be!). Now I’ve always received a much bigger jolt from coffee, and I’d think this would be obvious to anyone, but maybe believing tea has more is having an effect? I wouldn’t be surprised. I did find tea has two other chemicals in the caffeine family, but they are negligible. Also, tea does contain actual caffeine, not a caffeine analog called theine, as was once believed (even by a chemistry PhD friend of mine).

Hope that clears things up a bit. Here are my resources:

Adagio Teas (great vendor, BTW)
Caffeine FAQ
Wikipedia
How Stuff Works

Tags:

FAT ASTRO

October 27, 2005 in Food by mystery

Welcome to Agent Mystery’s ONE MINUTE RESTAURANT REVIEW. If it takes you more than one minute to read this, you must be an idiot. It’ true. I’ll prove it. Stopwatches out. And. GO!

Astro burger was founded in the 1900’s by a person with a dream. A dream to sell burgers and other prepared food items and to make money doing it. Historians believe this restaurant was the first to be founded on this principle, influencing cultures in all stretches of the world. That much we can take as scientific fact. But how can one explain the perfect zucchini stick? Now, you’re asking yourself, why one would try. And now you’re looking at your stopwatch and going, ‘it’s been forty seconds already? Am I retarded? And now you’re telling yourself, ‘No. I’m not. This review is retarded.’ And now you’re reassuring yourself that, ‘yes, it is in fact the review that is retarded.’ And only now are you ready to read the real review. Well, done. The student has indeed become the teacher.

ASTRO BURGER is a medium sized fifties diner setting with cool booths, each complete with occasionally working juke boxes on every table, so bring your quarters and a hankering for Elvis. There’s also an outdoor patio so bring your cigarettes. Or not. Maybe a coat? I don’t know. Use your common sense. You’re bound to see every type coming in for a bite. The gamut of Los Angeles runs through here nightly and steadily, right up until Four ‘o’ clock hour. That’s AM folks.

It’s a burgers and shakes, fifties rock, kind of place but it’s infused with today’s modern Los Angeles cravings. Mexican and Cali influences touch various dishes. Lots of Avocado on hand at this uniquely cool restaurant on the corner of Santa Monica and Gardner. It is also directly across the Street from FAT BURGER, which isn’t bad in it’s own right. It also just so happens to be diagonally across from the future sight of the CRACK TEAM’S Newest Restaurant, FAT ASTRO! I’m confident it will be one of the top three burger joints on that block.

Now, some notes for the unfamiliar on the MENU:

BURGERS

At Astro Burger, everything is freshly prepared. And all burgers come with the thousand island-chopped onions-crisp-shredded-lettuce-sliced-tomatoes compilation. I usually go for the Turkey burgers. Go bold and get the Bacon Avocado Cheeseburger. Or be dedicated to your health and your colon and grab their renowned Garden Burger. Both of these are considered “House Specialties.” Also in that category falls their pastrami burger, however, I haven’t felt myself get the urge to induce a heart attack, and frankly it doesn’t sound that good. One at a time, please. Thank you.

They’ve also got Buffalo burgers (which I ordered thinking it was some how covered in hot sauce…and then realized that I had just made a really dumb assumption and that even a burger covered in hot sauce didn’t sound very good to begin with) The Buffalo Burger is heavily seasoned and was a bit odd tasting but not bad at all. And the one I’ve yet to try but is seriously up for consideration is the Ostrich Burger. Actually made from, get this: Real Ostriches.

I don’t really have any qualms about eating Ostrich. I’ve only really seen them on TV but they just seem to act like total assholes. Y’know, kinda like the prick in high school that pushed kids into lockers. They probably taste good. Not the pricks in high school. The burgers, I mean.

FRESH MEX

All their mexican is good because the guys cooking are, um,…how you say…Mexican. Hombre, get the Quesadilla. You’ll thank me later. Ask for Sour Cream. They won’t give it to you without asking and they’ll charge you for it when you do.

SANDWICHES AND SALADS

Club Jr. and Fries is a great quick filling meal for six and a quarter. A good deal for this place. Pastrami sandwich is pretty good, though their menu clearly states, “Best in Town”. Other Pastrami Connoisseur’s believe Astro Burger’s statement is an attempt to insult the town. The Tuna Melt is a smart choice. I wouldn’t go for the steak sandwich though. But then again, I’ve never been a fan of rib-eye steak sandwiches. I’m a philly fan myself.

Side Note:(No matter what you hear, nobody in LA does a great Philadelphia Steak Sandwich. And as a rule, you definitely don’t buy it if they actually call it a “Philadelphia Steak Sandwich.”)

The Chicken Club once reigned supreme to my current norm, the Bacon Cheddar Turkey Burger. The Club has bacon and swiss on top of the large and fresh grilled chicken breast. They throw in a little mayo and BBQ sauce. It’s one club you’ll want to join. Ok. that was weak. Moving on.

Salads here are good and BIG so remember to ask for Extra Dressing. They very well might charge you for it. fifty cents bitch. CHAR CHICKEN is the way to go. I get mine with Blue Cheese but you don’t have to do everything I do. I mean this is flattering and all but c’mon.

They also have Fish and Chips here. Go ahead live dangerously. Ever wonder what Cod tastes like made at a burger joint twelve miles inland? Me neither.

SIDES

Now, my favorite thing they do with food, here. HOMEMADE ZUCCHINI. The perfect amount of breading on the perfect slice of zucchini fried to a nice crispy texture. They do it right. Somehow these guys have figured out how to make breaded and fried zucchini that doesn’t scorch your mouth with its boiling zucchini juice or that doesn’t turn to mush. Other places do okay. Maybe you’ll read about them in another blog. But NO ONE compares to Astro. All fried in Cholesterol-Free Canola Oil. They give you a large portion. That’s the only size they come in. You get two sides of a very tasty ranch dressing, which is thick and creamy and great for dipping your stick in. Maybe that’s not the best way to put it. Either way, you’ll want to get your lips around it.

Onion Rings are also extremely good. And quite possibly the best I’ve had out here. And I’m talking about Rings here. Strings are a whole other category that Astro doesn’t compete in.

Of course they do fries, and they do them well. The menu notes the Chili is homemade, as are the Onion rings and as I mentioned, the zucchini, however their fries are not. Still good. Add Chili if you like. You know you want to. Go on. Do it. Don’t be shy.

Shakes are made with real ice cream but they make chocolate shakes by mixing in Syrup with Vanilla ice cream. It’s not bad but it misses the point, doesn’t it? It’s like when you use white bread when you’re out of burger buns. It’s typically a last resort.

WAKE UP

Well, I’m not even going to bore you with the breakfast because, well, it’s your normal breakfast fare. It’s also pretty good. Breakfast Burritos, Denver Omelets, French Toast. You can’t really go wrong. The hard part is getting there before 11:00am.

This place rocks for the casual, fulfilling venture out. You might have even seen the fuss over it when Hillary Swank went there after her Oscar Win, with wife, Chad Lowe.

Million Dollar Burger

It’s got a great vibe, interesting people, and amazing food. It’s good day or late, late night and it’s done the way it’s supposed to be. Quality food, pretty quickly. You’ll spend about three or four bucks more than you would at the Chains but you’ll be happier you did. Try their Location on Melrose near Larchmont. Slightly different menu. But they’ve got a drive-thru.

And Stop your watches. If you are between:

0-20 seconds– YOU are a genius.

20-40 seconds — YOU are pretty smart.

40 - 60 seconds — YOU can spell most difficult words, but still get stuck on whether it’s separate or serperate.

1 - 1:20 minutes — YOU may have graduated college but you’re not fooling anybody.

1:20 - 1:40 minutes — YOU were probably home schooled and breast fed till you were twelve. It’s not your fault.

1:40 - 2:00 minutes — YOU were raised by farm animals after your only living relative left you for dead after throwing you out of the car window instead of the diaper.

2:00 and above - You probably hold some sort of political office and/or perhaps involved in some aspect of NASCAR.

Tags:

Diet Sodas That Don’t Taste Like Ass

April 20, 2005 in Food by archangel | 2 comments

For most of my life, I’ve hated diet sodas. Sacharine/Sweet & Low tasted especially horrible, but Aspartame/Nutrasweet didn’t taste great, either. Diet Coke and other colas taste pretty foul to me, and I love Coke. Friends have told me that all I have to do is choke down the stuff daily for 3 months, then you can stomach it no problem. I’ll pass. However, a few diet sodas have managed to taste really close to their non-diet counterparts:

  • Diet Minute Maid Orange The first diet soda I really enjoyed, very close to the original, but almost impossible to find in can form these days. I occasionally see it in 2-liter bottles.

  • Diet Sunkist A very good substitute for Minute Maid Orange.
  • Diet Sprite, aka Sprite Zero Nearly identical to the original. They are getting on the low carb bandwagon, rebranding it as “Zero”. Great for me, as it’s carried in 7-11 now, and I’m occasionally seeing in vending machines.
  • Diet Cherry 7-Up What I like to call a Shirley Temple in a can. Not very manly, but tastes great. Note that I have not included Diet (regular) 7-up, that misses the mark.
  • Diet Wild Cherry Pepsi This is pretty groundbreaking for me. I’ve long been a champion of Coke in the cola wars, and I’ve outright hated all diet colas (only Diet Rite came anywhere close, and still not close enough for me). Regular Coke meant less sweet, more carbonation; Pepsi tastes too flat. But in diet sodas, less sweet tastes wrong. Diet Wild Cherry Pepsi still needs the carbonation of Coke, but flavor wise it’s an achievement. Almost no diet taste. Can’t say the same for Diet Cherry Coke, which still has a ways to go. As for carbonation, if you’re just drinking a can, there isn’t much time for it to get any flatter. Worth it just for the caffeine, which none of the other sodas in the list have.
  • Coca-Cola C2 This is great while it lasts. I think this tastes very close to regular Coke, and makes an excellent substitute. Unfortunately, it looks like both this and Pepsi Edge (never tried it) have lost millions for their companies. The problem is, they wanted to capitalize on the various low carb diets, which prescribe zero sugars, not just lower carbohydrates. Half isn’t close to zero. Still at the supermarket, but my local vending machine has been sold out of it for some time, and it doesn’t seem to be getting replenished.

Now, if we could just get more of these into vending machines, instead of the foul Diet Vanilla/Lemon/Lime Coke/Pepsi/Dr. Pepper permutations that currently fill them.

Tags:

Starbucks in Barstow

December 20, 2004 in Food, Travel by archangel

The Starbucks in Barstow is off the Lenwood exit:

2843 Lenwood Blvd.
Ste. D
Barstow, California 923119587
(760) 253-4474

It has the strangest but most logical closing times:

Friday - 1:30am
Sat - 10:30pm
Sun - 11:30pm

Clearly, this is critical info for all members of The Crack Team.

Tags: ,

Roly Poly Fish Heads

September 18, 2004 in Food by archangel

As a seafood lover, I try to stay abreast of which species are deadly killers. An Eco Defense website has a nice chart telling you which ones are safe to eat (including catfish, clams, crabs, scallops, wild salmon) and which are slowly poisoning you (orange roughy, shark, swordfish, farmed salmon). There are several others on the list, and it also gives info on which are being over-fished, and how much of the deadly ones you can eat, based on gender and age (yours, not the fish’s). Pay attention to locations on the chart and at the supermarket; for example, most Alaskan fish is ok, but if caught from different areas or farmed, it may contain unsafe levels of mercury or other toxins.