Found an interesting page that’s simply a composite of character actor head shots and names, so when you’re trying to remember someone you can scan the photos and find out. There are some that are obvious to even part time film buffs, like Giovanni Ribisi, Charles Napier, and James Cromwell, but also a number I could only recognize by face. Sooner or later someone is going to turn this into a photo quiz.
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Website Funny or Die posted their top 10 “must see” videos of 2009. 3 of these videos are actually must see, so I’m including them here:
Read the rest of this entry »
Tags: lindsay lohan, natalie portman, rachel bilson, zach galifianakis
Time for a little break. So much going on at work, you tend to stay away from TV, movies and popular culture. But those who are blessed with a job1, however tenuously, should take a break and thank the Power-That-Be for the people responsible for these humorous asides:
Sarah Palin does a pretty credible job getting back at our old friend William Shatner. If Bill’s reaction is genuine surprise at her sudden appearance, then I am even more impressed with Bill’s acting abilities !! Someone really, really needs to get him in the Star Trek sequel quickly, before he joins Scotty and Bones in the big Starship in the Sky.
Oh, and by the way. Bill is a Canadian actor taking valuable Hollywood jobs away from US citizens. Can someone get the immigration problem in this country corrected? Too many Canadians are coming down to take our high-paying white-collar jobs in this country. Forget the Mexican border; folks down there are coming to take the lesser-paying jobs and will not affect your six-figure, professional position. It’s the Canadians that are the problem. And they look just like you and me so that they are harder to find and deport.
However, good going Conan. You are so good at this that I may start watching the Tonight Show again. I stayed away for the last 15 or so years, but I think the Show is in good, capable hands again. Can anyone tell me what happened to Triumph, the Insult Dog?2
Finally, I just have to mention this item that I read in the news about poor Tiger Woods. No more jokes, this is serious. Here’s the excerpt in the news from one of his supporters:
“One thing people don’t understand is that we’re human,” Heat guard Dwyane Wade said in Miami. “You’re not born with a menu on how not to do things wrong. You’re going to make mistakes like every human being.”
Actually Dwyane, there is a menu that you were given when you were small. It’s called The Bible. Sure it’s old and seemingly out-of-date or out-of-touch. It’s as old as Humanity, and it does seem to be in touch with the foibles and peccadillos that affect all of us, all of the time, since the beginning of time. I don’t think Mr. Woods is the first person that has ever cheated on his wife; plenty of those stories in the Bible. You may want to crack it open one of these days.
Listen up, because there isn’t much time.1 The 3rd best movie this year - and second funnest - is about to leave theaters. That movie is Zombieland and it is awesome.
First of all, it’s not a horror-comedy. It’s about as scary as playing the original House of the Dead in a well lit Dave & Busters. But it is a terrific action-comedy, chock full ass-kicking and clever humor. The cast is small, but the choices were inspired.
This movie made me look forward to a Zombie apocalypse. Of course, I soon realized I’d be one of the fatties who’d get eaten first, but it’s motivating me to resolve that. It’s time to pick up a zombie survival guide and start a fireman or baseball player exercise regimen. That will really help when you run out of bullets and need to start swinging an axe or a bat or a banjo. It will also help if I ever get a shot at Emma Stone. And, dear Lord up in Heaven, do I want a shot at Emma Stone.
So seriously, hurry up and catch this. You may only have until Thursday; even now, it’s only playing a couple times a night at our local megaplex. Time is running out!
- Even less time because stupid fucking Wordpress didn’t post this when I wrote it several days ago. [↩]
I thought he did a fantastic job with both editing and titles.
Ghostbusters (1954)
Raiders of the Lost Ark (1951)
Forest Gump (1949)
Tags: classic movies
The A-Team movie will be out in 2010, and the word is that it will be more serious than the TV show. Sounds like they are trying to be more like Miami Vice and less like Starsky and Hutch. I’m anxious to see how this will turn out, especially now that the main cast has been announced.
John “Hannibal” Smith: Liam Neeson
In (much) earlier versions, George Clooney was in talks to play Hannibal. Clooney would do campy well, but for some reason I like Neeson better as a more serious colonel. He seems to go well with cigars.
Templeton “Faceman” Peck: Bradley Cooper
I’m used to him playing the wimp (Alias) or the bully (everything else). But I think he can find some middle ground.
B.A. Baracus: Quinton “Rampage” Jackson
No, this is not the Junk Yard Dog. But close.
“Howling Mad” Murdock: Sharlto Copley
A.K.A. Wikus Van De Merwe from District 9, the second best movie this year. He proved he can do crazy, but can he do an American accent?
Some chick Faceman used to bang: Jessica Biel
I did not have to go further than my hard drive for this photo.
There was a time I hoped for an original cast. I mean, the show ended in ‘87 and they’ve been talking about a movie for years. And Mr. T has aged well. But all in all, I think they made some good choices.
Tags: bradley cooper, jessica biel, liam neeson, sharlto copley
I hadn’t been keeping up with my Strongbad emails, but I was running out of nonproductive ways to procrastinate so I thought I’d catch up a little. Anyway, I thought his take on the state of independent/indie films today was pretty spot on.
Most people know I’m a huge Tarantino fan. He’s probably the first director to pop in my mind when people ask who my favorite director (or film) is. So it’s really interesting (to me, at least) to hear what he thinks is a great film, especially since his taste is all over the place. In anticipation of Inglorious Basterds, here is Quentin Tarantino listing his favorite 20 films since 1992 - the year he started directing.
Here are links for each film. They are indeed nefarious affiliate links to Amazon, but hey, gotta pay the hosting bills, and at least there won’t be confusion over the films (e.g., you won’t buy Blade with Wesley Snipes thinking it’s a Tarantino fave). And if you’re interested in seeing any of these, send me a message and I’ll be happy to host a viewing at my place. Assuming I actually know you.
Battle Royale
Anything Else - Woody Allen is another favorite of mine, and Christina Ricci is always fabulous.
Audition
Boogie Nights
Dazed & Confused - Also in my top 20.
Dogville
Fight Club
Friday
The Host
The Insider - This was good, but for Michael Mann I prefer Heat.
J.S.A. - Joint Security Area
Lost in Translation - One of my favorites, too.
The Matrix - The sequels sucked, but at least the soundtracks were awesome.
Memories of Murder
Supercop (Police Story 3) - I was a huge Jackie Chan film back in college, and this is perhaps his best. The soundtrack is great, too!
Shaun of the Dead - Personally, I prefer Hot Fuzz.
Speed
Team America: World Police
Unbreakable - The only disappointment here is that it was supposed to be a trilogy, but instead M. Night Shamalama ding dong pumps out crap like The Village and The Happening. And films that weren’t supposed to be trilogies, like The Matrix, get two lame sequels. So sad…
Just a quick note that Half Blood Prince is worth seeing in IMAX 3D. I thought the last movie was, too. The difference is that instead of the 20 minute 3D finale we got in Order of the Phoenix, we get a 13 minute 3D starting sequence. Still, extremely well done. And I thought the movie was great, especially considering all the material from the book that had to be thrown out.
Oh, if you’re not familiar with Harry Potter, here are some American Dad clips that pretty much sum it up:
Take a bunch of vikings, add some space monsters, throw in Jim Caviezel to kick some ass, and Fallout Boy for no reason (other than Ron Perlman is awesome, and they need to make another Hell Boy movie ASAP), and you haveOutlander, the best movie that Hollywood decided I didn’t need to see in a theater. No, my home theater system didn’t let me down, but this movie deserved the big screen. The 13th Warriorwas awesome on the big screen, and great 70 more times at home, thanks in no small part to that first big screen awesomeness aftertaste.
This time though, they just decided to not waste all that money on previews and advertising, put it out in “limited release”, and then let us all just grab it on Netflix based on idiots like me doing their advertising. If you didn’t deserve to see this, I would tell them to screw off, but you do, even if they don’t deserve your patronage.
No, it wasn’t full of the best special effects or stunning dialogue, but the vikings also didn’t wear cow horns on their helmets. It wasn’t over the top and epic like hollywood seems to believe is all we want, but rather, more like a good book. There were just enough key characters to be interesting, and just enough character development to make you care a tad bit when they get chomped. Really though, if you are going to enjoy this movie, you are probably already sold. If not, get back to playing Hello Kitty Island Adventure.
One is a prominent Latina female. The other is trying to get into the Supreme Court. You be the judge as to who will have a longer lasting effect on the American people.
VS. 
My vote is with Zoe. She is from the Dominican Republic and is a living embodiment of the richness of African culture that came to the Caribbean and still influences the culture there. And she looks extremely hot in the Starfleet issue miniskirt and booties. A worthy successor to the lovely Communications Officer, Lt. Nichelle Nichols, and I believe Zoe speaks fluent Spanish.
On the other hand, we have an outspoken, intelligent Latina female, Sonia Sotomayor. She has been called a “racist” by the right-wing but I do not concur. From her isolated comments, I make her out to be more of a mysandrist1 But she is going into a Supreme Court slot that is being vacated by another liberal-leaner, Justice Souter, so her positions2 should not make much of a difference in upcoming court decisions. She will be outspoken, though, so it will be nice to hear a strident counterpoint to the pontificating statements of conservative Justice Scalia.
My score:
Zoe Saldana (1) for a fantastic Star Trek franchise debut.
Sonia Sotomayor (-1) for inflamatory statements that were issued when she was not open to micro-scrutiny as she is now. Once she gets coronated as a Justice, I’ll reset her at (0). I’ll give her (+2) rightaway if she trounces Scalia at the weekly Supreme Court Poker game. 3
Damn Transforminators! You’ll get my sand when you take it from my cold, dead hands!
Tags: video
I’m lazy, so here are some 30-second movie reviews:
Star Trek: The IMAX Experience - First, there’s no reason to see this in IMAX, as there are no large format shots like in The Dark Knight. Second, keep in mind that I’m a Star Trek fan (I’ve seen all the movies, and even every episode of Voyager and Enterprise), but not a scholar. The movie starts out great, but as I saw more changes to the original storyline, I started questioning the writers’ choices. There are a few silly decisions for plot purposes, too. But overall, a good film, even if I’m not sure I agree with its immediate jump to #62 on the IMDB all time best list.
Angels and Demons - Starts out a bit slow, and a bit of the same old, same old. A lot like Davinci Code, but I think Davinci was more consistently paced (if significantly more blasphemous). By the third act I was hooked, though, and overall I thought it was decent.
X-Men Origins: Wolverine - I liked this, even though I had the same issue I wrote about last year. And in addition to the wrong sized actors, they take liberties with Wolverine’s official origin story. That said, Hugh Jackman, Liev Shreiber, Danny Huston, and Ryan Reynolds give solid performances. The rest of the supporting cast, however, doesn’t add much. If you like Wolverine, I’ve got good news: there will be four more X-Men films. They include a Wolverine sequel1, a Magneto origin, a Deadpool origin, and X-Men: First Class, which I assume to be the first group of mutants taught at Xavier’s School for the Gifted. In other words, an X-Men origin.
- Working title: Wolverine Does Japan [↩]
Well, the answer to the titular question would be yes, for if you believe in angels then you must also believe in their counterparts, the demons. And of course if you don’t have a spiritual bent, then this whole article is moot and you can just skip it and go see the new movie. I suppose this is similar to watching the Star Wars movies: I don’t believe in The Force powering up the Jedi Knights, but it sure makes for an entertaining 2 hours at the cinema.
But if you do believe, as I do, then let me get back to the discussion we started in part 1. I am going to relate the first part of the argument that was started so long ago in the back of a church bulletin:
(Read 1 Timothy 4:1-5)1 This passage describes the great Apostasy that is to come. Do you think the Bible teaches that Demons are active? Why don’t we hear much about Demons here in the United States?
The scripture passage is copied here, for your convenience (verses 1-2):
But the Spirit explicitly says that in later times some will fall away from the faith, paying attention to deceitful spirits and doctrines of demons, by means of the hypocrisy of liars seared in their own conscience as with a branding iron,
Well, I think the Bible has tons of passages showing that Demons are active. Even without a Bible degree, I recall a couple of times in the old days when people would foam at the mouth and throw themselves into fires, while under the influence of demons. In today’s newspapers, there are plenty of stories of people doing similarly unexplainable things (like killing their entire families or trying to kill all of their co-workers). So if the equation is demons = crazy behavior then we can safely say that demons are still active. But why don’t we hear more about them in today’s world?? How come the angels grab all of the attention and show up in all the movies and books and holiday cards?2
As I said earlier, if you believe in Angels, then you must also believe in Demons. I believe that you don’t see much demon activity because we do live in a society ruled by science, which has disproven the existence of demons (if you could ever prove a negative, which a lot of experts believe is a lot harder than we think). If our society no longer believes in demons, then you can be sure that they have a lot more flexibility to act in our daily lives. If you have ever found yourself in a terribly emotional state (rage, depression, etc.) then who is pushing the chemicals and hormones around in our brain?? Could someone be pressing on your adrenal gland at just the right time?? If our bodies are masses of cells, what leads them to start behaving in some fashion that we have not initiated with our mind??
I’ll play the rational scientist and respond that our bodies have been conditioned to pump hormones into our bodies at times when our very existence is threatened. Quick, get that adrenalin shot in your system so that you can outrun a woolly mammoth and survive to procreate another day !! So when we are in a situation that demands action, our bodies sometimes respond inappropriately and send the chemicals flying into our bodies, possibly making us go cuckoo and go grabbing for the nearest blunt object, projectile weapon, etc. But as I recall, we also have been programmed for “fight or flight” so why is it that most of the time we take this 50-50 choice and go for “fight” against our very loved ones??
Who pushed the balance to the side that drives us to want to ram our truck into our neighbor’s house because his dog will never quit yapping?? That’s the “fighting” side that’s winning.
I’ll stop here, but if you want to read verses 3-5 of the Bible verse go ahead. It is even more apropos since it talks about men advancing the cause of Demons by spouting heresy3 or in the case of the movie “Angels and Demons” by spouting half-baked ideas about secret societies and giving it the veneer of truth. This is OK when a movie bills itself as escapist entertainment, but the film-makers have gone out of their way to give credence to the theories in the film; this helps the box-office but it does not advance the cause of truth. And you thought Chariots of the Gods in the 1970’s was a hoot; this new film goes one better.
Angels don’t have a prayer when you have CGI on your side.
Stay tuned for Part 3: Demons, a distressing spirit.
- This would be in the Bible, of course [↩]
- Beelzebub wishes you Happy Holidays — now there’s a card I’d like to send a friend [↩]
- In this case the issue was abolishing marriage and incorrectly having to abstain from sinful foods — more reason to skip the cheesecake tonight. But go ahead and propose to your girlfriend; it’s OK [↩]
Dr. Ronald Chevalier, author of all 10 Cyborg Harpies trilogies, invites you to his web sanctum. I especially enjoyed his pre-pubescent works in the gallery. Here are some videos to better prepare yourself for Dr. Chevalier’s unique style. Remember, always protect your precious seed.
The Art of Relaxating
The Art of Inspiring Oneself
Amazon has a poll to vote for the next Criterion Collection title to be published in Blu-ray format. The choices are fairly obscure, and I’ve only seen two of them: Jim Jarmusch’s Down By Law and the 1965 Japanese film Kwaidan.
Of the two, I found Kwaidan to be more memorable. It contains four ghost stories set in old Japan, filmed with painterly cinematography. I had always assumed they were classic Japanese tales, but I have just read that they were in fact “adapted from the fiction of Greek-born Lafcadio Hearn (a.k.a. Yakumo Koizumi, 1850-1904), who assimilated into Japanese culture so thoroughly that his writings reveal no evidence of Western influence.” There are scenes here that I think may have directly influenced Tarantino’s Kill Bill.1 If you are expecting The Grudge, I think you will be thrilled. Unless you (inexplicably) liked The Grudge.
- I’m thinking of the showdown with O-Ren Ishii in the snowy garden. [↩]
Adventureland is not what I expected. Granted, my expectations were set solely by the movie poster. From that I gathered:
- It takes place in the ’80s at an amusement park.
- The stars are unknown (to me), but supporting cast includes Bill Hader, Kristin Wiig, and Ryan Reynolds.
- It’s from the director of Superbad
You’re thinking ’80s movie parody, right? Maybe Wet Hot American Summer? Or perhaps an Apatow-ian version of One Crazy Summer, The Great Outdoors, or Meatballs.
It’s actually much, much smarter than that. It’s not so much a comedy as a coming of age story. There are laughs, for sure. Some big ones, even, but most of it is from subtle character commentary and reactions.
It utilizes a quintessential ’80s movie theme, however: a smart, young everyman who’s not confident with girls meets a cute, experienced, down to earth girl with problems at home. It’s more complicated than that, of course, and more realized than any comedy would portray.
However, the biggest differentiator from teen comedies is that these aren’t teens. We’re used to characters who have just graduated high school or are finishing senior year. But Adventureland’s main character has just graduated college, and all the other characters are clearly over 21. Like in real life, this significantly changes the dynamics. It’s a refreshing change that makes it very easy for me to recommend this movie to adults. I hope you enjoy it as much as I did.
Tags: 1980s, comedy, coming of age, review
With the upcoming release of the fictional “Angels and Demons” (or as I call it DaVinci Code part deux) I have to ask the real question: Are there real demons?? Are they walking among us as seen in the movie “Constantine?”
We have plenty of fictional film evidence to show these demonic beings (Constantine, again) but now I think we’ve had enough evidence in the news programs to proceed with a real discussion:
* Alabama shooter kills 10
* German shooter kills 10
* Oakland shooter kills 3 cops.
* and on and on……
Yes, I understand that out of a billion inhabitants a few people out of their minds is normal. But what drove them out of their minds? 99.99999 percent of the population can neutralize the instict to kill their enemies/ loved ones/ strangers on the street, so what tips these .00001 percent over the edge?
My answer: demons.
And not the run-of-the-mill demons that make you go for that extra slice of pie for dessert or make you lie to your friends about missing their party last week. I’m talking about the true evil that makes you contemplate flying yourself and a plane full of fuel into a building. Demons that can literally drive you out of your rational mind and do something indescribable.
Some time ago I attended a church that printed a series of questions on the back of their bulletin. These were questions that could be used to initiate discussions about ethics, morals, spirituality, etc. Aptly enough, this section was called “The Back of the Bulletin” 1 For some reason, I was attracted to keep their discussion titled “Demons, Are They Real?” but never got a chance to start this investigation. The time for that investigation is now.
Over the next few weeks, I will post each new question from The Back of the Bulletin on this blog, and hopefully a spirited (sic) discussion will follow. Just to give you my background: I’m an engineer and not attracted to the artifacts of the world beyond the veil (those things we cannot see) such as spirits, ghosts, demons, etc. I’ve never seen a UFO or experienced anything that cannot be explained by science, physics, chemistry, gaming theory. I do believe in God and therefore must believe in Satan. For whatever reason, they both feel that they need entities to carry out some actions, so therefore I believe in angels and demons. I don’t believe that demons make you cheat on your taxes or grab extra food at a buffet; these are behaviors that can be easily explained by our background as opportunistic hominid foragers more than by the spiritual world.
But when a rational person (and millions of years of evolution has resulted in a fairly stable brain) goes on a rampage, I have to believe that there was an extra spiritual push in there, somewhere. I will discuss the mechanics of the brain and how it can be gamed to see/feel/experience something extraordinary, but there’s been no proof that the deranged individuals that we are discussing were under the influence at the time of their terror sprees. Sherlock Holmes would not settle on demons as the underlying influence2 but we may surprise ourselves when we start eliminating all other factors from the equation.
Masterchief points us to a post at toplessrobot.com about a new Transformer named Jetfire. Here is a photo of him:
As you can see, he is holding a cane. Because he’s old. And old robots can’t walk good. They need canes. Robot canes. Because, you know… I’m sorry, why can’t you just fix the fucking robot? New servos, some scrap metal, an acetylene torch and wire nuts? I mean, Wreck-gar and the Junkions (which is an excellent band name) are literally built from the crap other Transformers threw in the garbage, yet to the best of my knowledge, none of them require canes. Thank you, Michael Bay!
The icing on the cake is that Jetfire combines with Optimus Prime! I can only imagine he turns into, like, a seat cover. Or maybe a dashboard compass. But probably a seat cover.
Taken is a fun action movie based on a slightly ridiculous premise. If you’ve seen the trailer, you know that Liam Neeson’s daughter is kidnapped in Paris. We very quickly learn it’s by human traffickers who target attractive female tourists. Neeson, a badass retired spy, attempts to get her back.
Now, human trafficking, sex slavery, etc., is all very real. I would never say otherwise. The ridiculous part is that they are targeting tourists. Obviously, to tour Europe you have have money. And the kidnappers want the girls who sell for the most money, which happen to be the ones who are pretty and white. Do you know what happens when a pretty white girl from a well off family goes missing?
We, as a country, go fucking ape shit.
I mean cuckoo bananas bonkers nuts. Natalee Holloway, Elizabeth Smart, etc. It’s covered on every news program, all the time, for weeks if not months. Every reporter and law enforcement agency on both sides (CIA, FBI, local police) gets involved. Private investigators are paid. Any criminals involved who can be paid off (this is all of them) will spill the beans. And when the girl in question looks like this?
Then even I’m knocking over Liam Neeson to save her first.
No, sir, we do not tolerate anyone messing with our pretty white girls from well to do families. To suggest that a criminal ring could do this beyond one (1) pretty white girl from a rich family is to reveal your ignorance. I should point out that, technically, it is wrong to take anyone and sell them into slavery. This even includes pretty white girls from middle class families. Let’s be clear about that.
Other than that, there is much shooting and beating and delivering of badass lines. It’s all good. After Luc Besson dropped the turd that is Transporter 3, I was a bit worried. But he is joined by Robert Mark Kamen, his co-writer on The Fifth Element and… oh, shit. Transporter 3. Well, they both had a good day. Luckily, there was no room for them to include an annoying female character to bug the crap out of me for most of the movie.
Tags: liam neeson, luc besson, maggie grace
Caution: none of these links are safe for work. One has a photo of RuPaul. Be safe.
Christian Bale recently got, um, peeved, when the DP ruined another scene on the set of Terminator 4 by walking through it. Not one to waste such great material from a talented artist, music producer Lucian Piane turns lemons into lemonade. By which I mean he turns profanity into a club hit.
You can download the Bale Out MP3 here.
Tags: christian bale, music video
I finally saw the movie and since it’s been out a while, I think I can add a few spoilers from here onward…..
Well, the movie was pretty good, and perhaps it is because I went in with very low expectactions. Yes, the title sequence was a little flat but I thought that blending the female figures into the sand dunes was very creative. Half the time you thought you were looking at some pattern when there was nothing there. Musically, it was also very forgettable. However, they were brilliant in holding the 007 theme until the very end credits. Part of my brain was in tension awaiting that musical cue, which did not come until the end. This is a fantastic way of bookending what was obviously part II of “Casino Royale” last year. And it signals the start of the Daniel Craig years, which should be good.
The villains keep on referring to “our organization” throughout the film, but they never reveal it to be SPECTRE. In the end, they make a reference to Quantum, but that would be a bad direction for the series to take. If they are going back to the classic Bond years, what is better than SPECTRE?? And the plot of this movie was perfect for the “extortion” part of the organization. Bring back SPECTRE !!!
Good movies steal from the best. This movie has echoes of “Thunderball” in the death of Agent Fields, the comely young British agent that dies while trying to help Bond. And echoes of both “GoldFinger” and “For Your Eyes Only” in the young woman trying to avenge a death in the family. Excellent stuff.
Also, “Quantum” may be the first Bond movie where the ingredients and process to make the vodka martini are explicitly spelled out. There may have been a reference to this unique drink in an earlier film, but I don’t think it was as detailed as here, making a nice counterpoint to the Vesper drink which was featured in “Casino Royale.”
Missed Dearly: Our special armaments agent Q and his gadgets. And some girls in bikinis, this is supposed to be escapist entertainment !!! If the writers can come up with an iconic villain that is not too preposterous in today’s realistic environments that would be great. Maybe a guy with nanobots that transform him into an animal at convenient times1.
- Cybernetic lycanthropy, as Archangel has so succinctly put it [↩]
Noticed something new on Netflix: a rating that wasn’t from the MPAA. Turns out it’s from an organization called Common Sense Media. It strives to do what Roger Ebert has been doing for years - let parents know when the MPAA got it wrong. However, it goes beyond movies into TV and video games, and goes beyond covering sex and violence into areas like consumerism. It also seems to stress - gasp - talking to your kids about how they should think about what they’re watching.
Sadly, this will probably go completely unnoticed by the parents who need it most. Like that couple complaining that the “free under 3″ policy doesn’t apply to R-rated movies. Like the Exorcist. And yes, that’s a true story. We are doomed.
Tags: mpaa, video games
I’m trying to work on my Best Films of 2008 a little early this year. I went through the list of Oscar-eligible films and copied all the titles I haven’t seen yet that might make my “best of” list. I’m sure some of these are great1 and some have almost no chance, but if you have an opinion (for or against) please comment.
Read the rest of this entry »
- The Wrestler, WALL-E, and Slumdog Millionaire are already in the IMDB Top 250; a few others are Ebert 4 star films. [↩]
Tags: 2008
TV shows are in limbo, making this a good time to catch up on those movies you’ve missed. I’ve tried to use Netflix, but it’s recommendation engine is still sub-par.1 Here are two resources that are actually reliable:
Ebert Search: Just select 3.5-4 stars in 2008. You’ll find some interesting stuff from the best film critic in the world.
2008’s Oscar-Eligible Films: Going through the 281 films that can be nominated for the 2009 Academy Awards, I found a lot of interesting films I didn’t have a chance to see.
- No matter how I browsed, it never suggested Step Brothers, even though I haven’t rated it, I want to see it, and Netflix predicts I’ll really like it. [↩]
This weekend I watched Meet Bill and Cashback on Netflix downloads. Meet Bill has a great cast, but they’re tied to a messy plot with an unfulfilling ending. It’s also a bit gayer than was strictly necessary. I would have been better off watching American Beauty for the seventh time. Cashback has some hot naked chicks, and while I can relate with the protagonist’s (and director’s, I’m sure) obsession with the beauty of the female form, there wasn’t a lot of there, there. Here, I should have rewatched Art School Confidential. Neither are terrible films, but you can find better. Even on Netflix downloads.1
But coincidentally, both films included Royksopp’s What Else Is There? in their soundtracks. This is a great mid-tempo electronic song with ethereal vocals, so I include it here for your enjoyment:
- Netflix’s download selection is notoriously subpar, especially if you discount the classics. Illustrating this, one commenter on IMDB, complaining about Meet Bill, wrote “now I know why it was available for download”. [↩]
Tags: cashback, meet bill, music video, netflix, royksopp, soundtracks
Having seen the original, then the trailer for the remake, I came in with low expectations. I recommend you do the same. It got 20% on Rotten Tomatoes, which seemed a bit harsh after watching it. Then I remembered Rotten Tomatoes lists the percentage of critics who recommend the film. This is not a critic’s choice. I’m not sure this is even an average moviegoer’s choice. It’s simply better than we expected, which may say more about our expectations than the film.
The original is an absolute sci-fi classic. It was very easy to improve on the circa-1950 effects, and they did. However, even though this is billed as an IMAX movie, they don’t have any IMAX scenes; they just reformatted it for the bigger screen.
And even though the f/x are much better1, they don’t make up for the changes to the characters’ personalities. The boy, played by Jayden Smith, went from likable to slappable. As for the alien visitor Klaatu, played by Keanu Reeves, well, they removed his personality altogether. To quote Ebert:
He is so solemn, detached and uninvolved he makes Mr. Spock look like Hunter S. Thompson at closing time.
The acting is fine throughout (assuming Smith and Reeves were told to act annoying and wooden, respectively), but solid performances and nice effects can’t save it from bad characterization and plot holes. One of the dangers of making a film more realistic and up to date is that it invites more scrutinizing; unless you’re really thorough, the audience can see the holes better. These guys weren’t so thorough.
Again, the original is a true classic, currently #197 on the IMDB Top 250. For the $17 I spent on the IMAX ticket (plus gas), I could have bought a copy of the original on Blu-ray. I suggest you do that instead.
At Amazon:
The Day the Earth Stood Still (Special Edition) [Blu-ray] (1951)
The Day the Earth Stood Still (Two-Disc Special Edition) [DVD] (1951)
- For instance, you can’t see wires holding Gort’s arms up [↩]
When the movie was released over the summer, I was a little surprised by the lack of interest. I realize it had been 10 years since the original movie and 6 years since the series ended1, but I would have thought the lack of material would have raised interest. I can only guess that the trailer did a poor job selling it because the poster had people talking.
For me, the marketing made no difference. I simply thought: I’ve already watched about 150 hours of X-Files - why would I stop short of what could be the final 2? This is the basis for my recommendation; if that’s not good enough for you, well, OK.
Now it’s available on Blu-ray and I’ve finally seen it - the extended cut, no less. It turns out I wasn’t prepared. I forgot a lot about the series. I watched it with a friend who had also seen the series, and we were expecting closure on topics like Mulder’s alien-abducted sister, conspiracy plots, etc. There is almost none of that in the film. It’s pretty much a standalone episode with a little “where are they now?” thrown in. I felt like I was shorted.
Then I visited Wikipedia to research a couple references I didn’t fully remember. This was, uh, enlightening. As it turns out, just about everything I wanted closure on I had already gotten - in the series. I just forgot it all.
So if you’re going to watch this, but like me haven’t give the show much thought in the last 6 years, do a little pre-reading on Wikipedia.2 Reading the main X-Files article will obviously help, but if you’re short on time, there are two character histories that will save you a couple major “Wait… what???” moments: Fox’s sister Samantha Mulder and Baby William.
Once you do that, and you go in with the mindset of “cool, I’m getting one last standalone bonus episode” then seeing I Want To Believe won’t be a big disappointment.
And “one last” sadly seems to be the case. Chris Carter said that if this was a big success he’d make another X-Files movie about the foretold alien invasion of earth in 2012. Obviously, that would be very cool. Unfortunately, judging from the IMDB box office numbers, IWTB was less a big success and more a “let’s hope this thing breaks even after DVD sales”.
Where to next?
So it looks like this is really the end, as The Lone Gunmen didn’t exactly take off.3 My recommendation: Bones.
It’s about a female doctor (Temperance Brennan, aka Bones, a forensic anthropologist rooted in hard science and skepticism) partners with a male FBI agent (Seely Booth, who relies on psychology and hunches) to solve homicides. There is constant sexual tension between the partners, but no gratification. Heck, they even made Booth Catholic. It may not be X-Files, but it’s as close as you’re gonna get.
At Amazon:
The X-Files Store
The Bones Store
- And mostly without Mulder and Scully for the last two seasons [↩]
- Alternately, the DVD (or at least the Blu-ray) has an exhaustive episode recap for every episode in the series, plus a video clip for each. You can go through it and get really caught up, but it will take you hours. At that point, you may want to rewatch the whole series. It’ll only take you an hour a day for 6 months. [↩]
- Thinking about TLG pisses me off. I postulate that it would have been fantastic if it carried the dramatic tone and conspiratorial plot of X-Files instead trying to turn it into a screwball comedy. They were my favorite characters on the X-Files but were turned into complete jokes on their own series. The episodes were mostly standalone - and goofy, yet these guys were the kings of conspiracy! What happened to The Lone Gunmen was a creative tragedy that could have been easily avoided. [↩]
Tags: review
What is your fascination with my forbidden closet of mysteries? -Chief Wiggum
When I was 9, I remember seeing the trailer for The World According to Garp, thinking it looked awesome.
I was a huge fan of Robin Williams due to Mork & Mindy, which was in its third season when the movie premiered. In addition to the fun and wacky antics the trailer showed, I was especially intrigued because it was rated R - apparently for something involving sex. I really wanted to see this movie. Of course, there was no way my parents would let me watch it.
Tonight, 26 years later, I finally watched it. I’m sure I had many opportunities to do so in between, but something kept me from it. I think I knew it couldn’t live up to the hype my 9 year old brain had generated. Even though I tried to lower my expectations, I was disappointed. It’s based on a John Irving novel that was a major best seller at the time, and after reading some comments by those who’ve seen/read both (including Ebert’s review), it lost a bit in the translation and didn’t add anything to make up for it. It’s less fun and sexy and more slow and tragic than I could have ever imagined from watching the trailer. Not bad, per se, but not something I’d recommend to anyone who hasn’t read the book.
Not long after being denied Garp, I was shooed out of the room during a bestial orgy scene in The Howling. I remember pouting like crazy. Of course, I was allowed to watch the rest of the film, including a scene where a werewolf, in human form, is shot in the forehead, then reaches into the bullet hole and pulls out some brain whilst spouting the line, “Let me give you a piece of my mind.” Violence? No problem.
Other sexually charged films I was desperately curious about (and which still remain on my yet-to-see list) are Cat People (the 1982 remake) and The Unbearable Lightness of Being (which I’ve begun reading). I distinctly remember passing the latter in the video store again and again, never having the guts to attempt a covert rental. The remarkable thing - other than the early 80’s being a big era for such films - is that these are films many adults wouldn’t fully comprehend (or at least only superficially). I imagine there were a few 9 year olds in 2001 maddeningly curious about Mulholland Drive, a film I’m still not sure I get. Perhaps it’s best that I waited…
Perhaps you’ve heard they’re remaking The Karate Kid. Whatever details you’ve gleaned so far, it gets worse.
It’s going to star Jayden Smith, Will Smith’s son who costarred with him in The Pursuit of Happyness. When filming starts next year, he’ll be 11. Yes, 11.
The other bit of ridiculousness is that much of the filming will be in Beijing, where the movie is set. Now how can you have a karate movie in China? The cultural ignorance is staggering. At the very least they should call it The Kung Fu Kid.
This is just another in a long line of Karate Kid ripoffs, like Showdown (starring Billy Blanks) and the recent Never Back Down. In fact, both of those movies are way closer in plot than the new remake. Seriously, who wants to see 11 year olds beat the shit out of each other? I got enough of that in 5th grade.
I was flipping through the OC Weekly “best of” issue and couldn’t help but notice the various Halloween costume ads. One that immediately jumped out at me was a rather modernized Hogwarts schoolgirl uniform. If only Dumbledore weren’t gay Hermione Granger would be walking around looking like this:
I really hope this will be a popular costume at the Halloween party I’ll be attending. And if you’re thinking, “That’s all wrong! There’s certainly not a star at the end of their wands!” then I’ve got a guy named Albus I’d like to introduce you to.
Tags: harry potter
I saw Ghost Town this weekend and was sorry to see how poorly it did in the box office. I enjoyed it more than Righteous Kill, Lake View Terrace, and Burn After Reading (although that was pretty decent), which all beat it. Ricky Gervais is of course funny, but he also shows us he can act (granted, he already did that in the Extras series finale). Anyway, if you like Extras or the British Office, you’ll enjoy this.
Tags: extras, review, ricky gervais
Quite a title for this article, but it really makes sense. Trust me.
I was listening to the soundtrack for the Broadway show “Wicked.” It is based on the premise that the Wicked Witch of the West was really not evil, just a misunderstood soul. Wow. They are taking one of the iconic evil figures from literature and giving her a second look, an alternate-universe history that makes her, well, nice1. And that’s not right.
Taking this alarming trend to its pinnacle, could it be far behind for Hitler to make a comeback??
(NOTE: the following are satirical comments. Do not mistake them for reality; they are just an artifice to make a point. That is how satire works.)
After all, Hitler was really nice to his dogs. And he did put all of the German people back to work on that really cool roadway, the Autobahn. Did I mention that he created the Volkswagen?? That picture of Hitler and his gang of killers parading around on a convertible Wolkswagen has got to be the coolest, most disturbing image of the war. 2 So except for the 6 million people he killed, Hitler was a really nice guy. Really.
(NOTE: the satire has now ended. Back to reality.)
But we all know that the winners of a war write the history books, so they can adjust the facts to suit themselves. There are many instances of Allied atrocities in WW2 that should have been tried as war crimes. I am thinking of the conventional bombing of the German city of Dresden, or the firebombing of Japanese cities. The latter killed a whole lot more people than the atomic bombings at Hiroshima and Nagasaki (better left for some other article). But a lot of terrible things happen during a war; it’s just distasteful to try to justify them as being necessary for a greater good. It’s so much more honest to say what is really inside: the enemy is inhuman and we’re scared sh*tless; we need to kill as many of them as possible before the war ends. Afterwards, we have to go back to being human beings and play nice again. Or whatever passes for “nice” between bellicose nations.
So back to the Wicked Witch of the West. The play does a good job turning the Oz universe on its head. As with many revisionist works, there are problems with it, since it changes a couple of really key points that clash with the world that Frank L. Baum created. Similar to those Star Wars prequels that cannot exist in the same universe as the original Star Wars movies. But these are nits, and you can still enjoy the Wicked concept if you ignore them. Just don’t expect me to change my worldview: The witch is still evil. (Don’t forget, she did try to kill Dorothy. And her little dog, too.)
What if Michael Bay wrote the screenplay for The Dark Knight? A hilarious exploration on what that would look like. It’s uncannily - and sadly - spot on.
Well, it’s no secret that I was not a big fan of the movie “The Golden Compass” even before it came out. I knew that it was derived from a book of the same name, which was part of a trilogy written by Philip Pullman, a self-described atheist. There was also the fact that the series is known as His Dark Materials trilogy, and that there was a running thread in the books that was anti-religious. I don’t have a problem with that, but I did have a problem with God being terminated by the series’ young protagonists in book 3. Pretty intense stuff for a children’s series.
But there’s a couple of things that merit a revisit to this movie. One is the fact that I was a big fan of “The Chronicles of Narnia” which is a series that is an unabashedly pro-Christian allegory1. I did not want to favor one point of view without giving a chance to its opposite. There was the fact that I don’t want to dismiss an entire series based on hearsay. Finally, there’s the fact that Roger Ebert had given the movie 4 stars. I had to check this movie out.
I recently had the opportunity to view the DVD of the movie recently, and I can see why Mr. Ebert admired its production values; they are exquisite.
The concepts were brilliantly illustrated on the screen, and as Roger writes “As a visual experience, it is superb.”
But I cannot recommend the movie. As beautiful as it is to behold, it failed its first test when one of my kids asked me when the movie was going to be over. This is the equivalent of the dreaded looking-at-your-watch syndrome while watching a movie at the theatre. Now, I’ve been in movies that are slow moving and require extreme patience, so a measured pace has never bothered me. My issues with the movie lie elsewhere.
Spoilers follow:
- see my previous article http://www.crackteam.org/2006/04/23/its-obvious-episode-1-narnia-for-dummies/ [↩]
Yesterday I braved the crowds and the alarming number of children at the theatre, attending this movie. Kids at a children’s movie, what a concept. However, the movie was a real pleasure and definitely worth a viewing.
More importantly, I found myself in a DLP theatre, by mere circumstance. Wall-E in DLP is a real pleasure, and not to be missed. Couple that with a very generous admission price of 5.00 before 6PM and I had an all-around great experience. The theater is located in La Palma, Orange County. You can find it by going to the DLP website and searching your local area code. As always, my only gripe is that the theatre does not list the DLP theatre separately from its print counterparts, so you have to call ahead to find out where you need to be before the 6PM bell tolls. Try DLP, you’ll like it.
I also experienced that rarity: a breakdown in the DLP projector halfway through the movie. However, I can report that unlike the days of old, the system reboot only took a few seconds; no need to bring up the houselights while the white-clad team of repairmen descended on the clean room housing the projector. The movie continued and I can report that it’s worth your time.
I’ll let someone else with a good graphics background report on the movie itself. I am only an awe-struck theatre-goer that appreciates quality work.
Tags: review
This was an eye-opening documentary on steroids. There was a lot of info here, exploring the issue from many angles, and I learned a lot. Documentarian Chris Bell makes it personal with family interviews; both of this brothers are steroid users, which of course is a real shock when they’ve got nicknames like Mad Dog and Smelly. Bell makes it clear he’s been morally opposed to steroids his whole life. I don’t know if his situation injected bias or not, as I don’t know how it was edited or what was left out. In the end, though, I think viewers will be more likely to try steroids than they were before watching this.
This is because the film portrays the short term effects as mostly reversible, provided you’ve got a penis, or aren’t afraid to grow one if you don’t. It can’t list any long term effects because there’s a wholesale ban on steroids, so we will never be able to study them. This leaves the audience with a list of the long term effects such as having your own reality series (Hulk Hogan), becoming a movie star (Sylvester Stallone), or being elected governor (Elliot Spitzer Schwarzenegger). Hmm, I guess it could be use for sports, too.
The only way I can think to combat this is to point out that chicks don’t dig overmuscled meatheads, and steer them towards eating disorders instead. Of course, with cheerleaders literally getting their panties in a bunch over some roided out football player, this could be an uphill battle.
Tags: review
I saw The Visitor over the weekend and can recommend it. It’s a touching story that raises awareness about immigration in this country, which has become quite difficult, even for honest people. I also really dug the drum music in the film. To learn more, watch the trailer or visit the film’s page at the IMDB.
NOTE: You’ll be seeing more of these micro-reviews from me, which I hope add value.
Tags: review
I got a chance to take a break from school and took a look at Iron Man over the weekend. I thought it was awesome. I don’t know much, if anything, about the comic book so I don’t know how faithful the story was, but the plot was good, the action was great, the CG was great, and I thought Robert Downey Jr. was great.
Just be sure to sit through the end of the credits!
In Priceless, Audrey Tautou says that charm is better than looks. “Looks can be resisted, charm cannot.” Priceless has charm in spades.
I’m not one of those guys who throws around terms like “delightful comedy” (unless I’m being ironic). But that just about sums up this film.
In Amelie, Audrey Tautou showed us she can be uniquely cute better than just about anyone. Here, she shows us sexy. She is practically naked the entire film, by way of dresses with sheer and/or very little fabric, and her glorious refusal to wear a bra. Also, she is sometimes just naked. Bravo!
Also, she can act. Not too far into the film I’m thinking, “I really don’t like her character.” I was concerned for the film, because how am I supposed get into a romantic comedy when I don’t know why the guy is pursuing this girl? But it’s not long before she, too, shows us what charm is. Yes, the screenwriters get credit for this, too, but it still requires the right actress to make us change our minds.
Gad Elmaleh is great as Jean, a bartender who falls for Tautou, a girl way above his pay grade. His father was a mime, and you can see him channeling Chaplin in this film. After watching him in this, I’ve moved The Valet to the top of my Netflix queue.
Now, some caveats. This is a French film. I don’t just mean the dialogue is in French1, I mean the comedy, tone, setting, etc. I’m a big fan of foreign films, especially French; you may not be. At the same time, if you’re expecting Amelie, which is off-the-charts charming and quirky, you’ll be disappointed. But it is quirky, and fun, and… You know. Delightful.
- Except for “pick-me-up” and “sunny-side up”, which have apparently been assimilated into the French language. [↩]
Tags: audrey tautou, comedy, french, review
Boy do I hate Diablo Cody, the screenwriter. But this is going to be a long-term project, for she does seem to have some talent. It’s a backhanded compliment; just take it, as it is the best I can do. And please notice that I recognize her as a screenwriter.
She had a great debut with the screenplay for the movie “Juno” –a movie that I fully intended to dislike– and the Hollywood community agreed by giving her the Oscar this year. The movie was not too bad, a lot better than I expected, and I went in with totally negative expectations. Her future output should be rather good and if the quality stays constant she’ll do great.
But I hate her new name, Diablo Cody. It smacks of pretention; you could have done better, Diablo Cody. If you wanted to make a statement and have your work speak for you, I would have chosen a name like Jane Smith or better yet, Jane Doe Smith. It would have been a hoot to see a Jane Smith walk up to the podium to accept the Oscar, dressed in the nouveau-goth attire and sporting that annoying, gigantic tattoo that screams “Notice Me !!” That would have been ballsy.
But you took the easy way out and stayed in your post-stripper mentality, choosing a moniker that screams “Attitude entering the room” I really resent your presenting the stripper world as the ninth level of Hell On Earth; if you’d come up through the world of coal-mining in Virginia I would have a little more sympathy. As it is, you made your living through the habits of needy, creepy men (present company excepted) that frequent strip bars. Not really the noblest profession on earth. So saying that you’ve paid your dues sounds rather hollow.
But I’m only one person and this is just my opinion. After you produce a few more outstanding screenplays, I will probably forgive you and forget this piece. But you’ll always be Jane Smith in my heart.
When I recently read about a Clone Wars cartoon, I thought I might have accidentally stumbled on an old article. I remembered the Emmy winning 2003 Clone Wars cartoon. Now Lucas has created another Clone Wars cartoon. Stupid mistake on my part; the original was called Star Wars: Clone Wars, while the new show as a completely different name - Star Wars: The Clone Wars. Both take place between episodes II and III.
The official site has a trailer and a video intro to the series.
Overall, the animation looks like they did it with a video game rendering engine, embellished in parts. Perhaps they’re borrowing technology from The Force Unleashed. Of course, it sure sounds like Star Wars.
Variety reports that Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows will be made into two movies, with the second to be released 6 months after the first.
For those not familiar with the books (no spoilers here), they keep getting bigger. By the fourth book, Goblet of Fire, Rowling was including enough material for two films. In fact, director Mike Newell was planning on splitting it when Alfonso Cuarón (director of Prisoner of Azkaban) convinced him it would be better to cut out tons of material and make one movie.
I was pissed, as were many (most?) other Potter fans. The movie turned out good, but when Order of the Phoenix was released, I think it became too obvious that subplots were missing, as well as chunks of the main plot. It felt very rushed.
So when I read that Hallows will be split I got pissed off again - because this means Half-Blood Prince won’t be split! Which only gives me 3 more shots at getting tickets to a premier and hitting on Emma Watson. Who, by the way, turns 18 next month. Just saying.
Tags: harry potter
Terry Gilliam may be lucky in love, but he’s rather unlucky in filmmaking. Lost in La Mancha chronicled the mishaps and catastrophes that plagued his version of Don Quixote, which eventually had to be scrapped. For his current production, The Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus, he cast the late Heath Ledger as the lead. When Heath tragically passed, many thought the production would need to be scrapped since it was already about halfway through filming.
Gilliam has creatively found a way to save the film by relying on it’s fantastical nature. The main character passes from the “real world” to various fantasy realms through a magic mirror. Luckily for the production, all the real world scenes had been filmed. Now, when Heath’s character passes into a new realm, a different actor will play that part. The three actors taking the roles are Johnny Depp, Colin Farrell, and Jude Law. I don’t think Gilliam could have asked for better actors, and the box office appeal will surely skyrocket because of their involvement. And we all benefit by getting to see Heath’s final performance, which will not be edited or enhanced in any way.
Tags: monty python
Paramount got the film rights to Transformers and G.I. Joe1. Clearly big wins. Universal has pounced on what’s left: Monopoly, Candyland, Clue, Ouija, Battleship, Magic: The Gathering and Stretch Armstrong. Uh, did they think this through? I can see how video games with intricate plots can work as movies. But… Candyland?
Then again, Ridley Scott is already working on the movie based on Monopoly. No, I am not kidding. I imagine it’s about 4 real estate magnates all vying to buy up the slums of Atlantic City. Keanu Reeves will be playing the shoe, his first convincing role since Ted “Theodore” Logan.
- Which comes out next year [↩]
The graphic novel Akira will be turned into two live action films. Yes, this is the same book that was turned into the anime of the same name. Akira single-handedly brought anime to mainstream America; it’s legendary. Otomo, who wrote the novel and directed the anime, will be exec producing the films, so I’m sure it’s in good hands.
If you hadn’t already heard, they’re making a movie about Wolverine. According to Wikipedia, it’s not based on the Origin miniseries. Instead, it focuses on his more recent past. Here’s the current lineup (with some spoiler-free commentary):
Wolverine: Hugh Jackson. I’d love to follow this up with “Duh!”, but with WB mixing up casting for the Justice League movie1, you never can tell. Anyway, I like Jackman, even though he is way too tall for Wolverine, who is 5′3″ in the comic books. Glenn Danzig is the obvious choice, but he supposedly turned down the role in 2000.
Deadpool: Ryan Reynolds. I collected Deadpool for a while; he’s a real wiseass. Reynolds can handle that. I never saw his face in the comics, which would make this a voice acting gig when you factor in the stunt men. But this is backstory so who knows.
Sabretooth: Liev Shreiber. Shreiber is a great actor, but I wonder if they’re going to do anything about the size difference between him and Jackman. Sabretooth is huge and towers over Wolverine. It’s sort of a David and Goliath situation. Shreiber is 6′3″, but only 1 inch taller than Jackman. My guess is that they’ll pretend it’s normal, like Burton did with Keaton.
William Stryker: Danny Huston. Another great actor.
Gambit, a major character in the X-Men comics, will be played by a Taylor Kitsch, a relative unknown. Ironically, the relatively unknown characters John Wraith/Kestrel and Barnell/Blackwing will be played by will.i.am from The Black Eyed Peas and Dominic Monaghan (LOTR, Lost), respectively.
- Which might be delayed as long as Superman Returns was… [↩]
This is awesome. Kristin Kreuk will play Chun Li, the speed-kicking, high jumping uber cutie in Street Fighter: The Legend of Chun Li.
I’ve sunk more quarters into Street Fighter II than any other game. I even have an X-Arcade stick, pretty much just for fighting games on MAME. And I think Kristin Kreuk (Lana Lang on Smallville) is one of the loveliest actresses on earth. So this is a big win for me.
I’m also happy to hear Balrog will be played by Michael Clarke Duncan, and Chris Klein will play Nash1 . Moon Bloodgood (the hottie from Journeyman), will also star, but I don’t know who she’ll be playing2. To top it all off, it will be choreographed by Dion Lam who did The Matrix.
The only bummer is that we’ll have to wait ’til 2009 for the release. In the meantime, there’s always Smallville. And a couple photos of our heroines:
Read the rest of this entry »
- I’ll be honest, I didn’t remember Nash/Charlie as I didn’t spend as much time on Street Fighter Alpha. [↩]
- Chun Li’s better-endowed sister? [↩]
Tags: journeyman, kristin kreuk, smallville, video games
Update: George Romero is now remaking his 1972 film Crazies. It’s about a Pennsy town that accidentally has a bio weapon dumped in their water supply, which I guess drives them crazy. Of course, it may not look any different from your typical Steelers game.
Some horror remakes in development:
- Nightmare on Elm Street is getting a complete overhaul, which I assume means the end of Robert Englund in the title role.
- The Birds will be remade and star Naomi Watts. I’m sure it will be just as good as when they remade Psycho.
- The Wolf Man is being remade and will have Benicio Del Toro in the title role with Anthony Hopkins co-starring.
- The Invisible Woman isn’t really a remake, but it’s in the same territory. It will be directed by Matt Reeves, and might not happen until he directs the sequel to Cloverfield.
- Young Frankenstein is more of a horror parody, but it has been remade as a Broadway play. “Premium” tickets cost $450 (and no, that’s not a scalper or eBay price).
Tags: horror
The high def disc battle was supposed to go on for years. Sony, Disney, Fox, and Lionsgate backed Blu-ray. Paramount, Dreamworks, and Universal backed HD-DVD. And Warner Bros. backed both (it goes both ways), making it the deciding factor. If it backed Blu-ray, it could be over quickly, and if it backed HD-DVD the sides would be even and the war would rage for years with everyone buying two players or multi-players.
A week ago, Warner Bros. decided to back Blu-ray exclusively. The war is over. Condolences to the mourners.
Paramount actually had an escape clause in the event this happened, and Universal announced it will no longer be HD-DVD exclusive. There will be some cleanup, commitments fulfilled, but in the meantime, feel free to buy a Blu-ray player. Newline is also backing BR, as is the increasingly irrelevant Blockbuster.
It’s been an interesting ride. Including the BR player in the PS3 caused delays and cutbacks, and inflated the price. It was selling pretty poorly because of this and a fairly crappy game selection. But this past holiday season it sold 1.2M units1.
This change in the film industry should fuel PS3 sales. From what I’ve read, it’s not the highest quality BR player out there. But unlike many standalone players for your home theater, it supports all of the special interactive features the discs have. This is mainly through Blu-ray Disc for Java (BD-J), which is a form of Java ME. Already a number of titles have been enhanced with BD-J, although it seems mostly limited to enhanced menus. Over time, this could lead to some pretty cool hacks and features, esp. with players that are Internet enabled.
Overall, I’m not terribly happy Sony won, but it is nice that a format has been chosen. Using Java for interactivity is another bonus.
- Still way behind the Wii, which sold 3 times that. [↩]
Going through 2007’s list of films, it looked pretty good. However, I note that some stinkers still managed to land themselves on the IMDB’s Bottom 100 list:
| Rating | Title |
|---|---|
| 1.4 | Who’s Your Caddy? |
| 1.7 | Daddy Day Camp |
| 2.0 | The Perfect Holiday |
| 2.3 | Epic Movie |
| 2.3 | The Comebacks |
That rating is out of 10. But not bad, considering 2006 had 12. That’s the bad news. Here’s the good news, new entries into the Top 250:
| Rating | Title |
|---|---|
| 8.6 | No Country for Old Men |
| 8.3 | There Will Be Blood |
| 8.2 | Ratatouille |
| 8.2 | The Bourne Ultimatum |
| 8.1 | Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street |
| 8.1 | American Gangster |
| 8.1 | Taare Zameen Par |
| 8.0 | Grindhouse |
| 8.0 | Juno |
| 8.0 | 3:10 to Yuma |
| 8.0 | Hot Fuzz |
| 7.9 | Atonement |
Pretty good! Most of these are in the running for my personal top 10 list. I still need to see Sweeney Todd, Taare Zameen Par (an Indian film that I did not know existed until just now), Juno (which I’m super stoked to see), and Atonement. So no spoilers, please!
Tags: imdb
Some backstory: Peter Jackson had been battling Newline in court because he felt he was owed a lot more money for Lord of the Rings. Newline had the rights to The Hobbit, but didn’t want Jackson to direct until the lawsuit was settled. It started to get ugly. Also, their option1 was expiring and would be given to another company. So they were making plans to find another director, which got fans and Jackson upset. It looked like the movie would be made without Jackson directing.
Well, Jackson and Newline made nice. But the bad news is, Jackson is now too busy to direct! Sam Raimi (Spiderman, Army of Darkness) will direct with Jackson producing2. So Jackson will still be involved, and they’ll almost certainly film in New Zealand and use the f/x company Jackson set up for LOTR, preserving the look of LOTR. Overall, I’m expecting it to be a good film, although I’d still rather Jackson direct. But let’s face it: if it was directed by McG or Michael Bay and starred Rob Schneider as Bilbo Baggins, you’d still go see it.
Tags: lotr, peter jackson, sam raimi
I’ve been really enjoying the web comic DM of the Rings by Shamus Young. It tells the tale of a dungeon master leading a group of typical players on a Dungeons & Dragons adventure based on Tolkien’s Lord of the Rings. Only the players have never heard of LOTR, much less MERP1.
Yes, a little far fetched considering D&D stole heavily from LOTR, and I can’t imagine a gamer who hasn’t seen the LOTR movies. But no matter, the comic is very funny, and the actions of the players are uncannily similar to every group I’ve ever gamed with.
The real ingenuity is that it’s “illustrated” using only screencaps from the films with some occasional Photoshopping. The looks on the characters’ faces is often priceless. By the time you’re halfway through the series, you’ll be convinced Viggo Mortensen went through the whole trilogy with a blank stare.
- I actually owned MERP some years ago, but never got around to playing it, or meeting anyone else who had. [↩]
Great news! Christian Bale is set to play John Connor!
Horrible news! It’s being directed by McG.
I’m having flashbacks to when I learned there’d be a live action Transformers movie with the original Optimus Prime, but it’d be directed by Michael Bay.
Natalie Portman naked. Normally those words are used to drive gullible people to fraudulent web sites. In this case, those words will drive you to see The Darjeeling Limited before it leaves theaters.
The film is preceded by Hotel Chevalier, a short film starring Natalie and Jason Schwartzman. It provides a little backstory and context for the main film. It also provides you with an excellent reason to shell out $10.
I could make this review entirely about Natalie’s glorious visage. Forget launching a thousand ships; she could make Farrakhan convert to Judaism1. But anyone who’d find that a worthwhile read is already at Fandango looking up show times.
And it would be unfair to the film, which is worth $10 on its own. For the first two acts, I felt this was Wes Anderson’s best work since Rushmore. Intriguing characters, great humor. Fantastic visual storytelling with beautiful sets. I can easily see this receiving Oscar nominations for art direction and cinematography. And speaking of beauty, Natalie isn’t the only babe in film. We’re introduced to Amara Karan, Sri Lanka’s answer to Rosario Dawson. And there’s even some gorgeous Louis Vuitton luggage (or is it baggage?) that gets its own prominent credit.2
Beyond the visuals there are some great songs on the soundtrack3. Instead of an original score, it comprises songs from other Indian films along with some British invasion classics. In particular, the theme song (Where Do You Go To (My Lovely) by Peter Sarstedt) has been stuck in my head since I left the theater. It tells the tale of a girl from modest means who enters high society in 1960’s Paris. Very Holly Golightly, causing me to draw further parallels between Audrey Hepburn and Natalie Portman. It’s first played during Natalie’s brief appearance, and I’ll probably forever associate it with her. It’s a hauntingly beautiful song, but don’t take my word for it. Have a listen (and pay attention to the lyrics):
My only complaint about the film is that pacing seemed to slow quite a bit during the third act4 . It made the film feel longer than it was, even though the run time is only 91 minutes. I began to expect closing credits at the end of each scene. However, I must give it props for a fitting and highly metaphorical final scene. It just takes a little while to get there.
- It’s lines like this that keep TCT anonymous [↩]
- Unfortunately, I can’t find it for sale anywhere, and it’s not listed on LV’s web site. I know it was custom made, as it was painted by Wes Anderson’s brother. But I was hoping to find a limited run somewhere, even if there’s no chance of affording it before I strike it rich. [↩]
- Available on Rhapsody.com [↩]
- In the film’s defense I was in an uncomfortable seat. [↩]
Tags: jason schwartzman, music video, natalie portman, soundtracks, wes anderson
So for the very first time, I actually clicked on one of those text ads. It was on Facebook, and it was for a movie I hadn’t heard of called The Ten. I still have no idea how this got by me. It’s essentially from the The State/Stella, and stars Paul Rudd, Jessica Alba, Liev Schrieber, Rob Corddry, Gretchen Mol, Famke Janssen, and Oliver Platt. That’s a lot of people I like and/or lust after (I’m talkin’ to you, Paul Rudd). And I loved Wet Hot American Summer, which these guys also did. Anyway, it’s been in and out of theaters so add it to your Netflix queue. It’ll be released on DVD on 1/15/08.
I just read the cast listing of the new Star Trek film and my reaction was, “Holy shit. Really?” I knew it was a prequel directed by J.J. Abrams. I had no idea how much they were going to reinvent the show. Here’s the cast:
Bones will be played by Karl Urban. This is the first severe departure as Karl has mainly played big tough guys in Doom, Bourne Supremacy, The Chronicles of Riddick, Lord of the Rings, even Xena. When you think of Bones, you don’t actually picture a guy who could crush your bones:
Sulu will be played by John Cho, aka Harold from Harold & Kumar Go to White Castle. He’s also the guy who introduced us to the term MILF in American Pie. But I don’t think he’s responsible for MILF Hunter. Anyway, not too big of a stretch. The real disappointment is that H&K2 won’t take place in Amsterdam. Lame.
Spock will be played by Zachary Quinto, Sylar from Heroes. Sylar is pretty emotionless, so he’s got practice, but I won’t be able to stop wondering when he’ll bash an alien in the head and steal its powers.
Scotty will be played by Simon Pegg. You of course remember him as Shaun of the Dead, and the super cop from Hot Fuzz. (If you didn’t see it, BTW, Hot Fuzz was awesome.) My first ignorant thought was, “But he’s not Scottish!” Then I remembered James Doohan was Canadian and faked the accent. This is my favorite casting; Simon Pegg kicks ass.
Well, everyone else is an unknown, except for Eric Bana who plays Nero. I’m assuming that’s the bad guy. He’s probably an alien gambler who turns into an unstoppable green monster when he loses money. And it looks like Nimoy will make an appearance as Old Spock. But I’m rather concerned, because I think Shatner is practically irreplaceable. It just occurred to me that Kirk is about as hard to cast as Batman. And by that logic, Christian Bale is the only choice to play him. If you can make an awesome Batman (best ever!), you can make an awesome Kirk. I just wish Abrams had asked me before he picked some random dude.
Tags: jj abrams, scifi, simon pegg, star trek
“3:10 to Yuma” is currently sitting at the #1 spot for movies I’ve liked this year.� This could possibly be because I don’t recall all that many movies but this seriously was one awesome movie.� There was some great dialog, some great action, and some great acting.� I’ll leave the real review to Agent Archangel but in case anyone was on the fence about this one… go see it!
I am really curious to see the original now as I hear that was also good.
Tags: christian bale, russell crowe
So, yeah, this is late. I didn’t mean to wait this long, in fact I started this a while ago and just forgot about it. On the plus side, I’ve seen a lot more films since I started the piece. Unfortunately, that didn’t add much. I was going for the obvious top 10 list, but had trouble finding an obvious top 10. Then it hit me - I’ll just list the movies I loved. OK, I loved only two movies last year, but there were another 5 that I thought were awesome. 7’s a lucky number, so we’re going with that.
As usual, this post and all reviews I link to are completely spoiler-free.
Loved it!
Art School Confidential
Funny, insightful, wry. I didn’t go to art school, but this film portrays archetypes so I felt in on the joke the whole way through. Even if you just had an art department in your school, or have dealt with artists, you’ll know these characters. Maybe you are one. Certainly, many guys can relate to pursuing something grand just to get girls. It’s from Terry Zwigoff and Daniel Clowes, the creators of Ghost World, which I think was even better.
Borat: Cultural Learnings of America for Make Benefit Glorious Nation of Kazakhstan
Do I really need to say anything about this one? Just make sure you watch the deleted scenes on the DVD (which looks like a bootleg disc from the eastern bloc equivalent of Memorex).
Awesome!
Casino Royale
Perhaps because I’m no expert in the early Bond films, I thought this was the best yet. Just read Masterchief’s review and the ensuing comments. Clearly, a movie near and dear to every Crack Team Agent in the field.
The Departed
A brilliant film that won all the major awards and deserved them. It’s really weird for a real man like me to admit liking the films of Leonardo DiCaprio, but his recent films - Gangs of New York, The Aviator, Blood Diamond, and Catch Me If You Can - have all been fantastic. Yes, of course, let’s credit Scorcese for most of that. Perhaps that will be Scorcese’s true legacy: the man who made DiCaprio less fruity. (Just kidding! Mostly. Stop yelling!)
Miami Vice
Another great film by Michael Mann, who gave it the Heat treatment. As Agent Renegade has often said, Heat is probably one of the most underrated (or perhaps under-appreciated) films of the last two decades. A tough, gritty film, very little like the series. I’d love to see this made into a franchise; we have so few action films of this quality, made for adults instead of 13 year olds.
V For Vendetta
Another film for us to enjoy and for author Alan Moore to get all pissed about and remove his name from. Strange and beautiful, which is also how I think of Natalie Portman. Again, read Masterchief’s review and ensuing comments for more, uh, commentary.
Idiocracy
This did not get near the credit it deserved. It is hilarious, and frighteningly insightful. It makes crazy fun of idiots, including idiot corporations, which is very likely what held it back. It’s directed by Mike Judge, and OK, it’s not Office Space, but practically nothing is. This is probably more laugh out loud funny, and there are scenes where you’ll hit pause and marvel at the image on the screen. I’m thinking especially of a city skyline that you won’t soon forget.
Really Good!
Blood Diamond
As Renegade said, it’s not a light evening’s entertainment, but it’s very well made. Like Hotel Rwanda, I felt enlightened when it was over. However, I also felt depressed. Surprisingly, it was not because of DiCaprio’s accent, which I thought was going to drive me nuts but didn’t. If you want to be further enlightened on the ridiculous diamond trade, Wired has a fascinating article about synthetic diamonds. In fact, if you get your girlfriend to see this movie and read that article, you’ll save a fortune on your engagement ring.
Children of Men
A film of great impact and craftsmanship. This would be in most people’s top 10, but I’m not most people. For me, it joins films like Requiem for a Dream that I’m glad I saw, but I’m unlikely ever to see again. This is because I’m never in a mood to be depressed. So I may never see films like The Pianist, House of Sand and Fog, or Babel, but don’t let that stop you! Clive Owen and Michael Caine were superb.
Clerks II
I’m sure a lot of you are surprised I didn’t put this up top, what with my vast collection of Kevin Smith t-shirts (pretty much all of them). And I thought this was hysterical, and still quote it. But it just didn’t have the impact many of his other films did, and it’s hard not to compare this to them.
Flags of Our Fathers
Letters from Iwo Jima
These were stories that had to be told. I wrote a full review of Flags, but never did one for Letters. They are companion pieces, so obviously it’d be a shame to see one and not the other.
Inside Man
An entertaining and clever caper movie. It’s rare when you’re rooting for both the good guy and the bad guy. Clive Owen kicks ass (obviously, and literally) and Denzel was Denzel, which is good enough for me.
Invincible
The feel-good movie of this list! Nicely captures the era and city, as I mentioned in my full review.
Little Miss Sunshine
Enjoyable, quirky film. Alan Arkin and Steve Carell really stand out.
Lucky Number Slevin
A complex but entertaining ganster/caper/comedy. Fun film, good cast. Did I mention Lucy Liu? She so cute…
Mission: Impossible III
Probably the best in the series. Directed by J.J. Abrams of Alias and Lost fame, and starring Philip Seymour Hoffman, one my generation’s greatest actors. Everyone else does a solid job, too.
Rocky Balboa
Just a great way to end a franchise. Fitting, realistic, and never sells out.
Superman Returns
Screw you, I liked this. OK, maybe I just love Superman, the archetypal superhero. You can read my full review, which includes a rather complete rundown of alternate casting.
Thank You for Smoking
Smart, witty comedy. I never felt like I was being lectured, even though I learned a few things. But the Katie Holmes sex scene got way too much hype for what it was, so don’t get your hopes up there.
AbbyShot is a company that makes replica costumes from famous movies (although not always in an official capacity, judging by the names, or lack thereof). Some interesting stuff. And you don’t have to wonder if you’d look silly in them. AbbyShot uses real scifi geeks as models, removing all guesswork!
If you’re hung up on Uma Thurman (and I know some of you are), you can get the jacket she wore in Kill Bill. They also have Neo’s coat from The Matrix, which looks really cool, but I’m concerned about the response I’d get if I tried to wear it. “Holy shit! Agent Smith ate Neo and stole his coat! You’re dead, you fuckin’ coat stealer!” pummel pummel pummel
No, they’ve got exactly one coat that I could pull off. Search your feelings, you know it to be true.
Tags: kevin smith, scifi
While Kevin Smith inspired me to pursue filmmaking (albeit lazily and half-heartedly, with slightly less effort than I muster for breathing), I aspire to create movies like Judd Apatow’s. Knocked Up was awesome the whole way through. There are parts where Apatow just machine guns you with jokes, which are hilarious, because he had the balls to make it Rated R. Unsurprisingly, it’s already 163 on the IMDB Top 250. And man, is Katherine Heigl is hot (I call dibs. Sorry.). So if you were thinking of waiting for the DVD, aww, man, so sorry, ’cause you’re totally not doing that. ‘Cause I said so. And you’re welcome.
Tags: judd apatow, review
Here’s a humorous riff on Marvel’s movie obsession. If you read (between the lines of) Variety, you know that Marvel’s got so many movies in the works because former head Avi Arad has a serious producer fantasy. Probably from watching too much Entourage. Of course, it’s fairly common among captains of industry; same thing goes for other Mark Cuban and Jeff Skoll. Just become a billionaire and all your wildest entertainment industry dreams will come true. In a way, it’s the modern American equivalent of rich European merchants and land owners buying a royal title. Producer, Lord - it’s all the same thing. I haven’t seen anyone buy themselves a writer or director title, so I plan to be the first. Hopefully, it’s cheaper than producer.
I recently rented Monster House on DVD. Some photorealistic shots ala Toy Story, and the house looked like an incredibly complex model, especially as it breaks aparts and comes alive. Overall, it was OK, but I had higher expectations (for the story, not the animation).
However, the DVD does have a hidden gem. While checking out the special features I saw a section on concept art. I was expecting the usual pencil sketches, maybe a couple quick color illustrations. Instead, I was happily blown away by these fantastic concept paintings by Chris Appelhans. It’s Norman Rockwell meets Vincent Price (and maybe Chuck Jones). They lose a bit on a monitor, but look great blown up on a widescreen TV.
Tags: dvd, illustration
Variety reports on Universal making a movie of the old Spy Hunter video game. I can remember countless hours playing that in arcades and on my Apple IIc. Apparently, this is a revival of the project, which was originally to be directed by John Woo and starring The Rock. This seems, directorially, a step down. No idea if The Rock is still playing The Lead.
Some interesting film news. The Hughes Brothers, who did From Hell, are directing a film version of Kung Fu. And apparently Blizzard Entertainment has commissioned a script for Diablo. No word on whether it’s live action or animated, but I’d always heard those slick, 3D rendered cinematics were done as practice for a movie. Perhaps that’s it. And Robert Rodriguez, fresh off of Planet Terror (aka, Grindhouse part I), will be doing a remake of Barbarella. I never saw the first, but I’m sure this will be entertaining. No word on who will star, succeeding Jane Fonda. Rosario Dawson, perhaps?
This is awesome. I was visiting the web site for Mann’s Theatres, when I read these truly heartwarming words on their locations page:
Children under 5 will not be admitted to “PG-13″ OR “R” rated films
Bless their hearts. I can’t wait for other theatres (you listening, Cinemark?) to follow suit. And also, I’ve always preferred the British spelling of theatres.
Tags: theaters
So I hadn’t rented from Netflix in a while, and thought it was time to remedy that. Especially with most TV shows having a season finale in May. I was actually surfing the site for a while before I noticed the “Watch Now” tab at the top. It turns out that Netflix now has over 2,000 movies available for streaming. I was amazed that they never sent me so much as an email about this major new feature. I can only guess that since I wasn’t costing them any money, they didn’t want to remind me I had a subscription, which is pretty lame of them. So I now must punish them by making up for my dormancy.
The feature is pretty simple, find a movie and hit play. You need to download a proprietary player, but that’s all quick and painless. Harvey, a 4:3 black and white film looked good in full screen on my 21″ monitor. The Italian Job (Marky Mark version) also looked good (certainly Charlize Theron did), but at 2.35:1, it used maybe 1/3 of my screen. Video quality is based on bandwidth; my connection rated “high”, which is the best offered at 1.6 to 2.2+ Mbps.
There is a limit on viewing, you get 1 hour per dollar you pay monthly. So my discounted 4-DVD plan gives me 20 hours of viewing per month. A nice, cost-free bonus.
Update: Looks like there’s an 18 hour cap, despite their wording. And another problem is that I was “charged” 1h50m for The Italian Job, even though I watched at most 10 minutes of it. So know that you’ll be dinged for the whole movie, even if you watch just a part of it.
The selection is pretty small by Netflix standards, but if I hadn’t already seen so many films, it might appear better. Here’s a partial list of movies I gave 5 stars to, which are available for instant playing:
The Bridge on the River Kwai
Casablanca
Chinatown
A Clockwork Orange
Cool Hand Luke
The Day the Earth Stood Still
The Dirty Dozen
Harvey
The Jerk
North by Northwest
Run Lola Run
Strangers on a Train: Special Edition
Now some movies, if you watch them on a computer screen, should get your subscription canceled. I mean, The Matrix? But many shouldn’t suffer at all from small screen viewing. And if you really cared about quality, you would have seen it in the theater.
Tags: netflix
http://youtube.com/watch?v=eqh5O9LbjhY
A Crackteam agent sent me this link from YouTube and I HAD to share it for a good laugh.
It’s a rap video montage of clips from the movies of Weng Weng [from IMDb], and music stylings from The Chuds [from MySpace]. The collaboration was edited and produced by John R. of the R Room. It’s taken a couple views to really appreciate it since my attention during the first round went to the visuals and camera tricks. But the lyrics to the soundtrack song, “Weng Weng Overture,” are equally entertaining. They can be read at The Chuds MySpace page.
I’m a little late to the phenomenon of Weng Weng [from WikiPedia], but of all the Kung Fu and spy spoofs I’ve seen his look to be the most entertaining. Films credits include “For Y’ur Height Only” and “The Impossible Kid”, which received 8/10 stars on IMDb from 50 dedicated voters. There’s even a drink named after him, called the Weng Weng. Well, that may be a false claim but it should be true.
Tags: music video
It is very rare when a movie lives up to the lofty expectations that the trailer has set. The trailer for 300 set my expectations incredibly high, but the film did not disappoint.
Part of me thinks this review is pointless. If you saw the trailer, you want to see it. Heck, I just watched it again and thought, “Wow, this movie looks awesome, I’ve gotta see this!”
But, perhaps a poor critical review is keeping you from watching it. If so, know that the critics are wrong, and the people have spoken. This film is already in the top 200 films of all time on the IMDB. Of the 37,000 voters who’ve rated it, almost 75% gave it a 9 or 10 (actually, close to 60% give it a perfect 10). Also, the only critic who matters is Roger Ebert, and he didn’t review it.
But not only must you see it in the theatre, you must see it in IMAX. I promise you, you will hate yourself if you wait for video. Seriously, I don’t care how good your home theatre is, it can’t do this movie justice. If you wait for DVD, there will be much wailing (from you) and gnashing of teeth (Yes, your teeth. Totally gnashed.).
The film is a visually stunning masterpiece. It begs for IMAX, and IMAX delivers. Make no mistake - this is not a regular movie thrown on an IMAX screen, it is a special print mastered in the IMAX format. We saw it at The Bridge in LA, and except for some seats in the very last row (behind some stupid railing), there didn’t seem to be a bad seat in the house. We even sat towards the back-left, but the screen is so monstrous we seemed to be barely off center.
The fight scenes? Incredible. The sex scenes? Filmed on a cold set, apparently. You might miss that in some small theater, but not with IMAX. See? IMAX is looking out for you.
The sound is also fantastic. A deep bass rumbles as the largest army ever assembled marches on screen. As shields bash skulls. As a god-king whispers. Seriously, the man has no “inside voice”.
The casting was excellent. Gerard Butler was the epitome of the warrior king, and I expect more leading roles from him in the future. I also expect - and this is written without the slightest hint of irony or sarcasm - that you will see a surge in the number of boys named Leonidas. I don’t think think, however, we will be seeing many girls named Gorgo, despite Lena Headey’s portrayal of the beautiful and strong queen. I do think we’ll see a lot more of Kelly Craig (Oracle Girl), assuming Larry Ellison doesn’t run off and marry her. Heck, here’s some more Oracle Girl right now:
Continuing 300’s affect on pop culture, I also predict that MSU will have this film playing on campus, and steal the music and dialogue clips to get their teams pumped, for most of eternity. And just about every new local sports team will want to call themselves the Spartans. And the next NFL expansion team will be the LA Spartans, so we can say LA is home to both the Spartans and the Trojans.
For those who’ve already seen it, I’ve compiled a list of titles for further viewing. I haven’t seen these, but have added them to my Netflix queue. Unfortunately, none of these have Kelly Craig.
- Beowulf & Grendel: Starring Gerard Butler as Beowulf.
- Last Stand of the 300: History Channel special on the subject. Unfortunately, it only had one airing and now they want you to buy the DVD. I’ll wait.
- The 300 Spartans: 1962 film depicting the same battle.
- Imagine Me & You: If you want to see more of Lena Headey, she plays a lesbian temptress in this romantic comedy. So what I’m saying is, you want to see more of Lena Headey.
Some Crack Team members will appreciate this.
Tags: monty python, star trek, video
The online version of Variety is now free! I used to subscribe, but then they significantly increased their rate. Now they’ve eliminated it. I’m guessing the improved online ad market gets credit. Will Wall Street Journal Online follow suit? They already doubled their subscription price, so perhaps they’re next. Or they’ll just make twice as much money.
Several people have praised this movie to me, yet they added the postscript: What is the movie about?? Without giving anything away, let me point you to the Will Durant quote that opens the movie:
“A great Civilization is not conquered from without until it has destroyed itself from within.”
Some movies give it all up in the title; I’m thinking ‘Snakes on a Plane’ and ‘Free Willie’ for starters. You know there are snakes on an aircraft and you know Willie will go free. Oops. I hope I didn’t spoil that classic movie for you by giving you the ending. And yet there was enough doubt about the outcome to engender a “Free Willie 2″ and “Free Willie: the Revenge” : )
So let’s go back to the name of the movie: Apocalypto. This brings up all sorts of end-of-the-world images and references the book of the Apocalypse in the Bible (also known as the Book of Revelations) which recounts all sorts of bloody battles and the final match between Good and Evil in the history of humanity. So you know something cataclysmic will take place, and also that established cultures will meet and clash. That’s all I’m saying before I head into the spoilers that follow……
Tags: review
In response to criticism (such as the documentary This Film Is Not Yet Rated) the Motion Picture Association of America and the National Association of Theater Owners are working to make their process more transparent. That’s good. They’re also going to offer a new warning to parents that some R-rated movies are unsuitable for children, even when accompanied by an adult. That’s utterly worthless, and the coward’s way out. See, the parents that bring children to movies loaded with violent and pornographic content aren’t clueless about the movie they’re about to see.
They’re just horrible parents.
I’m not talking about the parent that brings his 15 year old to The Last Kiss to find out there’s several sex scenes that the trailer didn’t even hint at. I’m talking about the mother who brings her 5 year olds to see The Cell. The parents who bring their pre-teens to Blade II. And the parents who complain because the theatre won’t let their 3 year old in for free to see The Exorcist! By the way, these are all real examples I’ve witnessed firsthand here in southern California. It happens all the time.
Roger Ebert has said about two films, “If this movie doesn’t get an NC-17 for violence, no movie ever will.” The films where Hannibal and The Passion of the Christ, and after seeing both I heartily agree. And yet they initially gave an NC-17 to Clerks for language! The MPAA just wants to soothe their aching conscience. These people live in the area of the country that I do, so they can’t be blind to their contributions to the delinquency of minors. I’m not for eschewing parental responsibility. But if we can do something, even a small gesture, to lessen the psychological damage these selfish parents will inflict on their children, shouldn’t we?
Tags: theaters
I’m preparing to make my annual top 10 film list, and there are a number I still haven’t seen yet. I am choosing from the Academy’s list of eligible films. From that list, I’ve selected a number of films that I haven’t seen, but have a shot at my personal top 10. Maybe. If you’ve seen any of these, please leave a helpful comment like, “dude, I can’t believe you haven’t seen this you must be retarded or something but seriously, it is awesome and totally hardcore!!!”. Or “d00d this is sux0rs and if you like it you are totally of the ghey and retarded”. I anxiously await your insight!
All The King’s Men
Apocalypto
Babel
Blood Diamond
Bobby
Breaking and Entering
Curse of the Golden Flower
Deja Vu
Dreamgirls
Factory Girl
For Your Consideration
The Fountain
The Good German
The History Boys
The Holiday
Idiocracy
The Illusionist
Lady in the Water
Letters from Iwo Jima
Little Children
Marie Antoinette
Monster House
Night at the Museum
Notes on a Scandal
Pursuit of Happyness
The Queen
Tenacious D in: The Pick of Destiny
This Film Is Not Yet Rated
Tristan + Isolde
United 93
World Trade Center
2006 hasn’t been a great year for movies. About halfway through I was asked about some standouts, and could only name a couple. And I’m having some trouble putting together a solid top 10. But moreover, there have been some horrible movies put out this year, as judged by the fine folks at the IMDb. In fact, in their Bottom 100, no less than 11 films are from 2006, and they compose half of the bottom 10! I haven’t seen any of these, but I’m still glad to see Turistas and Little Man made the list.
Here they are, from worst to worse (yes, they technically get “better” as you continue):
1. Crossover
2. Araf
6. Van Wilder 2: The Rise of Taj
8. Unaccompanied Minors
10. Zoom
16. Phat Girlz
18. Material Girls
48. Doogal
51. Larry the Cable Guy: Health Inspector
66. Turistas
84. Little Man
Tags: imdb
This movie will most likely become a classic, in the league of 2001:A Space Odyssey. Not as effective as that cinematic milestone, but just as ambitious. It is also just as confusing: this is a good thing. Aronofsky has given us another tour-de-force, just as intense as “Pi” and “Requiem for a Dream” but centered around a love story.
I am going to discuss a few obvious religious symbols in the movie, and will leave it at that. You should go see it and decide what it all means to you.
Spoilers follow……….
Tags: review
Some interesting bits from Variety. You’ll laugh, you’ll cry…
New Line’s option to make The Hobbit is close to expiring, so they’re getting ready to make it… without Peter Jackson. This is because he currently has a lawsuit against them for questionable accounting practices regarding the profits from LOTR. Pretty much everyone, including distributor MGM, is completely freaking out about this. As they should be.
We are getting a Get Smart movie, starring Steve Carell as Maxwell Smart, and Anne Hathaway as a totally hot babe also in the film. Carell also stars in Evan Almighty, the sequel to Bruce Almighty.
Brilliant director Robert Altman passed away. Go watch MASH and The Player in tribute. Actually, I think we’re due for a Classic Movie Night featuring McCabe and Mrs. Miller - Ebert’s described it as Altman’s only perfect film, and I must confess I’ve never seen it.
The Weinstein Company, which is basically the new Miramax, even though Miramax still exists, has entered into an exclusive - and hence very stupid - deal with Blockbuster. In other words, if you’re a Netflix subscriber (as well you should be), you won’t be able to watch School for Scoundrels until Blockbuster goes bankrupt. Fortunately, at the rate they’re going, this will happen sometime next Tuesday. Of course, no worries for the Kevin Smith stuff, because you’re just going to buy that, anyway.
Speaking of Kevin Smith, there’s some way cool Clerks 2 swag at JayAndSilentBob.com.
Letters From Iwo Jima, the companion piece to the previously reviewed Flags of Our Fathers, has had its release date pushed up to 12/20, to make it eligible for awards season. I’m wondering if it’s the obviously better film, or having two good films will make it tough for Clint to get enough votes for either one.
Personal hero Judd Apatow is producing The Pineapple Express, an action-comedy starring Freaks and Geeks alumni Seth Rogen (The 40 Year Old Virgin) and James Franco (Spiderman series).
We’re getting Ocean’s Thirteen next year, even though nobody asked for it.
Did you know you can get a listing of most (over 1600) movies based on comic books at the IMDB? It defaults to sort by rating, but you can switch to date. Of course, many listed are still in development (i.e., the screenplay hasn’t even been written), but you can get a feel for what’s coming up.
Tags: judd apatow, kevin smith, lotr, peter jackson, steve carell
I made a wrong left turn on the way to Stranger Than Fiction, and wound up in Let’s Go to Prison (trust me, I wasn’t navigating). You might be tempted to see this because the trailer looked funny, or Bob Odenkirk (Mr. Show) directs and acts in it, or Will Arnett (Arrested Development) stars. All are good reasons, but the movie is just nominally funny, and that only in parts. It seriously drags, and by drags, I’m saying don’t even bother with the DVD. Skip it altogether, there are tons of better comedies out there.
In fact, go watch an all-time classic comedy, like Dr. Strangelove. Or The Heartbreak Kid. In the latter, you can see see Charles Grodin act with a brilliant sense of timing and deliver great lines by Neil Simon, and a 22 year old, half-naked Cybill Shepherd looking astonishingly cute. No, seriously, look!
Tags: review
Maybe not 100% spoiler free like agent Bladerunner’s post, but I did the best I could. If you REALLY want to play it safe, just skip my inane babbling, like most rational folks do anyways.
It is to Bond what Batman Begins was to that pointless crapfest series of movies. Both movies dealt with the beginnings of their characters, not worrying so much about continuity with what had been done before/after them. This works for me. The latest set of Star Wars movies are a good example of why you don’t want to try to stick within the framework you already set up too much. Yeah, prequels are hard, but this one got it right in many ways. Is it a must see in the theater, I don’t know? If you have a nice home system you won’t loose too much, so if your schedule is full there may be other movies out this season that I would put before this, but definitely catch it on Netflix, as it really was quite enjoyable.
Problem is, I can’t exactly figure out what to say about it that is good. I have a few complaints I can start with, but I will try to come back to what is good. First, there seemed to be 4 different directors and writers, or maybe they broke up the movie between different production groups for style reasons, I am not sure Interesting, but I don’t know if it really works. The continuity between the different parts was just not there for me, and I didn’t feel like it was my fault because I am not sophisticated, but rather, I felt like someone was trying to demonstrate skills that they clearly had, but maybe they should have saved for another film. Maybe some of you smarter folks will appreciate that aspect of it more than I did.
Second, as many of you already know, for me casting is one of the most critical parts of movie making. In my opinion, this casting was brilliant…. mostly. Daniel Craig was amazing. He was nothing like any of the previous bonds, and that is fine by me. I enjoyed many of those films, but they really were becoming caricatures of themselves. The one liners and catch phrases were becoming more of what defined the movies than the story and action. This one dropped all of that (including sadly, some of my favorite stuff, but discussing that may be a spoiler to some of you purists, so I will talk about that at a later date). The few one liners where delivered with a completely different style and approach, that they actually worked. The bad guys were SOOOOO bad and the rest were all great, perfectly cast for their roles, with a few that really stole the show for a few minutes (Jeffrey Wright and the guy that played the banker both stood out to me). Judi Dench as M was superb. If she gets any better I might start developing a thing for much older women, which is good, because I seem to be aging myself for some reason. Which leads me to the leading woman, my biggest complaint. Ok, in a bond movie there are usually a few women, and there are here as well, don’t worry, but the main chick just didn’t do it for me. She was hot, sure, and seemed to be quite a talented actress, but I didn’t buy her in her role, and I didn’t feel any chemistry between her and Bond, though that may have been on purpose for story reasons that I am not smart enough to follow. Maybe she nailed her part, but if so, maybe that part needed a bit more refinement, but then again, they don’t let me make many big budget movies, so I may be missing something here.
So, what did I like about it? Well, it was just a great film. Despite its incongruous nature to us lowbrow types, it was enjoyable as hell to watch, even if you have to check your ticket to make sure you are in the correct theater. The intro was the best ever for a bond flick, in its own way. With a single exception (in my opinion) the casting was superb. The parts I missed about the old ones, I got over, and the new parts that would not have worked at all in the old Bond movies where a nice change of perspective to the series. I am truly looking forward to the next one. I wouldn’t suggest it for kids (nothing there for them) and I wouldn’t suggest it to my Dad, who is a big bond fan, but for the rest of you I would give it some witty affirmation of a positive nature.
Tags: 007, daniel craig, review
I just went to see the new Bond flick, “Casino Royale.” I won’t be talking about the movie at this time since it is really awkward to write while keeping the ‘no spoilers’ rule. Too complicated. However, as a new actor takes over the James Bond role, it is a good time to ponder what has come before. In honor of the new movie, I have gathered a few choice moments from the 007 pantheon and included them below. If you have better alternative film moments (and given my faulty memory, it is inevitable), please send them to me and I’ll include them in the main piece below. With due attribution of course.
Most cruel moment: James Bond was written with a streak of cruelty in his personality. Or perhaps Sean Connery was just working out his kinks onscreen. For whatever reason, 007 was given a really ultra-cool, nasty disposition early on.
Connery: In “Dr. No” Bond breaks away from his game of solitaire just long enough to kill the good doctor that’s just pumped 6 bullets into an unfortunate pillow standing in for our hero in bed. Bond dryly remarks “you’ve had your 6″ and then shoots the doctor with his Walther PPK.
Moore: Roger Moore was such a nice guy that it is hard to believe he would fit this category. But check out the “For Your Eyes Only” moment in which he kicks the villain’s car off a cliff. He really meant it that time: there was no funny quip following this action.
Brosnan: I don’t have an entry here. Any help??
Dalton: The entire “License Renewed” showed 007 in a mad rage to get personal revenge. I am sure there is a pivotal moment in this movie that showed his cruelty. I just can’t think of one.
Tags: 007
This was a story that had to be told. I’m not sure what you’ve heard, but it’s about that famous photograph of the soldiers raising the flag on Iwo Jima, its impact on the war, and the men behind it. It goes back and forth between their time overseas (much of it in combat) and their time in the states after the photo. There is an upcoming companion piece called Letters from Iwo Jima, which tells the Japanese side of the story. This explains why they are largely faceless (and voiceless) in this film.
I’ve heard comparisons to Saving Private Ryan, but I had a very different emotional responses to those movies. After Saving Private Ryan, I walked around shell shocked, for two days, thinking about how we should avoid war at all costs. And while the combat sequences in Flags were violent, they didn’t bother me nearly as much. Instead of walking out numb and fearful, I felt shame for the way my country treated (used, discarded) those men. I also felt a newfound respect and appreciation for the soldiers fighting for us today.
When the credits came up, I witnessed something in the audience I’d never seen before. People had started to leave, some almost at the the exits, when photos were displayed along with the credits. They were vintage photos from the war, including some photos of the men portrayed in the film. Everyone stopped and watched the photos. Not one person left before the credits finished. It was a nice communal moment.
If you like this film (and I’m sure you will, it’s a great film), I can recommend two others. The first is Tora! Tora! Tora!, a classic movie about the bombing of Pearl Harbor. It shows both the American and Japanese points of view, shot with separate American and Japanese casts and crews. It’s well edited to preserve the timeline, for which it received an Oscar nomination (as well as for sound and f/x). The other is The Best Years of Our Lives, a 1946 film about 3 men who return from the war. It does a remarkable job of illustrating the differences between your rank in the Army during wartime, and your rank in society when you return. This just swept at the Oscars, taking home seven, including Best Picture (which it also won at the Golden Globes and BAFTA).
Tags: clint eastwood, review
Yes, it’s high time to discuss that most-kept of secrets. There’s more in Casablanca that meets the eye. This is another chapter in the series of “It’s Obvious…” film articles that started with the following entries:
Episode 1. It’s Obvious, Narnia
In this entry, I will discuss the high possibility that the main character in that most respected of film classics, Casablanca, was quite gay. Yes you heard it right. The character played by that most admired of macho actors, Humphrey Bogart, was as gay as Hollywood could dare to write in the high-suspicion environment of post-World-War-II America. I personally am just “shocked, shocked” that this revelation was not caught, expounded, denounced or cherished in such outre documentaries like “Out of the Closet Hollywood.” Oh well, perhaps they can add a small segment to the DVD release and credit me, bladerunner at CrackTeam.org, for this insight.
Tags: classic movies, review
This is unusual for me; I never write about music. That is probably because all of the composers on my playlist have been dead for hundreds of years (Mozart is 250 this year, woo-hoo!) and my pop music tastes tend to be Beatles-bland. The less said about it, the better.
But some days ago I attended a cool concert at a friends house. The venue was intimate 45 people or lessand the artist was new to me. Bob Bennett is a well-known Christian guitar player, and his folksy ballads are what I remember about that evening gathering. The guitar was expertly and sweetly played (again, I dont know enough music-related adjectives to give a good description) but the real draw were the vivid lyrics and sheer poetry of his work. Hmmm. I have heard the phrase dulcet tones used, but I dont know if it applies to the vigorous work that Bob Bennett performed that night.
Also included:our evening is graced by an iconic film actor who just happens to play a mean guitar…..
Sometimes, a plot theme is explored in several films.
One such theme is “data mining,” for want of a better term.
To satisfy his personal curiosity, the protagonist deeply explores a previously gathered record of an event using his professional techniques, and makes an important discovery. Watching the professional protagonist going about his task for personal reasons is quite interesting.
“Blowup” (1966): Photography. He blows up photographs and explores details in the background.
“The Conversation” (1974) Audio. He uses various audiotape editing techniques.
“Blow Out” (1981) Both photography and audio. He synchronizes a sequence of magazine photographs with his own audio.
Tags: classic movies
Great Noir poses the question: Why me? Why is this happening to me? And the answer is for no reason, for no reason at all. Noir concerned with error and confusion.
-Errol Morris
These are notes I took during Cinema History class some years ago. I hadn’t seen them written quite so clearly on the Internet (I probably didn’t look hard enough), so I am doing so. Thanks to both gentlemen for their contributions (any mistakes are mine, not theirs).
Schrader’s Recurring Characteristics of Film Noir
- The majority of scenes are lit for night.
- Oblique and vertical lines are preferred to horizontal.
- The actors and setting are often given equal lighting emphasis. This devalues the characters’ humanity.
- Compositional is preferred to physical action.
- Performance intensity
- Crowded characters
- Much use of reflective surfaces (water, mirrors, windows).
- Goes back to German Expressionism
- Introspection of characters
- Voice-over narration is often used. It is frequently needed by the audience to understand the plot.
- Complex chronological order reinforces a sense of hopelessness and lost time.
Here is the addenda provided by my professor, Robin Matthews:
Matthew’s Recurring Characteristics of Film Noir
- Rain
- Adds a somber tone
- Creates reflective surfaces
- Neon lights
- Indicate an urban environment
- Give off little light
- Dimly lit nightclubs: provide a place to plan crimes
- Winding roads: relate to dreams, as unsolved
- Characters with physical handicaps, or “grotesques” (E.g., Nicholson’s bandaged nose in Chinatown transforms him into a clown.)
- Sadists (E.g., Night of the Hunter)
- Double- and triple-crosses
- Can’t trust anyone
- Femme fatales
- E.g., Body Heat
- “Cosmic” irrationality
- Good and bad are not that far apart
- Happy endings are rare
- Example 1: French Connection’s Popeye Doyle endangering innocent lives during a car chase
- Example 2: DOA
- Dream sequences
Tags: classic movies
Coppola and company will be turning The Conversation into a television series. It will pick up where the movie left off, so put that into your Netflix queue. From Variety:
Producer Tony Krantz (”24″) is teaming with scribes Christopher McQuarrie (”The Usual Suspects”) and Erik Jendresen (”Band of Brothers”) to turn Francis Ford Coppola’s “The Conversation” into a weekly series for ABC.
This is great news for team members of The Crack Team, which made this an official CT Classic Movie long ago. I think this is a great crew to make it happen, judging by their body of work (although I didn’t watch Band of Brothers). I’m just curious who will star. Hackman is 76, so that might be a bit of a stretch. But we’d need a gruff, everyman for the part. Any suggestions?
Tags: classic movies
This film is an exhausting exercise in style over substance. It has an 80’s undercurrent via music and 8-bit video games, but for no reason I could determine. As it opened, I thought that I might not be in the right theatre, but the title credit (done in super low-res graphics) confirmed it. When I walked out, I thought the writer/director came from video games. Turns out I’m not far off the mark. There are two of them, and both did visual f/x for Biker Boyz. This helps explain the shitty writing. So, ok, I laughed a few times. A few action sequences were decent. But I certainly don’t think that made it worth seeing. Ok, yes, Amy Smart looks amazing, and that’d be enough for some, but she also plays a very annoying character. You’d think that with a hitman for boyfriend, she’d be dead already (then again, she is really hot here).
Meanwhile, I still haven’t seen Little Miss Sunshine, The Illusionist, Hollywoodland, or heck, even Beerfest. Talk about salt in the wounds…
Tags: review
This is one of the most beautiful films I have seen in years. The cinematography of the settings, costumes, and of course, actresses, is simply stunning. I regret not having seen this on the big screen.
Even though this is a long film at 2:25, I felt the pacing was good and it never felt slow. Part of that may have been the cinematography; even if it lingered some some still shots, I would not have complained.
Now, Ebert didn’t review it all that highly. He claims it wasn’t for sociological reasons, but his review certainly sounds that way. Geishas were artists, yes, but they were also paid for their company. They were often sold into that lifestyle, and had no free will. Yes, that is obviously an objectable practice. He also called it melodramatic, which I guess it might be. Certainly when compared to many Japanese films, like Ozu’s Tokyo Story, which Ebert adores1. But Memoirs is a film written, directed, and produced by Americans. In a way, it is a very American view of that period and lifestyle. To be fair, I could probably substitute “American” with “foreign” (Gaijin?) - the Geisha have been romanticized by many, even Gilbert and Sullivan (see Mike Leigh’s Topsy-Turvy). Is it fair to romanticize the selling of young girls into a life of prostitution, absent of free will? Certainly not to the Geishas. But for the typical movie audience, it makes for a much more enjoyable experience.
- It was also a past Classic Movie Night selection, and was quite good, if a little, um, “subtle”. [↩]
Tags: review
I enjoyed the hell out of this movie. It’s one of those where you’re sitting through most of it with a goofy grin on your face. It’s a feelgood movie, but you already knew that just from the trailer.
I have a soft spot for films set in the seventies, and this film does a great job evoking that era. It starts off painted in autumnal hues, set to Jim Croce’s I Got A Name. [1] We see working class South Philly of 1976, which probably hasn’t changed much in 30 years. Maybe it’s the whole city of brotherly love thing, but South Philly just seems a lot less scary than other working class neighborhoods. Perhaps Agents Mystery and Hulagun, former Philadelphia residents, will want to chime in.
I also have to say that I’ve warmed up to Marky Mark. He started out great as Dirk Diggler in Boogie Nights, but repeated that over-the-top, nice guy character ad nauseum. As Agent Assassin pointed out, now he’s not so over-the-top. It’s a big help. I also found myself thinking, “Wow, he’s buff here,” completely forgetting about the much buffer Funky Bunch-era Marky Mark. [2] It will come full circle when he plays a character that has audiences thinking, “Wow, who knew Mark Wahlberg could rap?”
He’s joined by the crazy hot Elizabeth Banks. You’ll remember her as Beth, the hot and crazy girl from The 40 Year Old Virgin, and Lindsay, the hot and crazy theatre director in Wet Hot American Summer. [3] She also plays the hot new doctor on Scrubs. I’d like to see a lot more of her, but Invincible is only rated PG. I’d cast her in one of my films, but unfortunately she’s married, which renders her inelligible.
Anyway, it’s a fun flick, and you can even bring the kids if you can’t find a sitter. They might not understand it, but at least they won’t be robbed of their innocence. Just leave that to Pop Warner.
[1] That song is also feature in soundtrack to the The Ice Storm, one of my all time favorite films.
[2] He needed to be huge back then to destroy hotel rooms and beat up gay people.
[3] Which is hilarious, just ask Hulagun.
Tags: review
Snakes on a Plane (SOAP) is a bad movie. You might have known that beforehand. But there is a chance you might have thought it was a thriller worthy of Samuel L. Jackson. Or perhaps even smart satire or a parody of B-movies. It is none of those things.
Instead, it is an updated version of an 80’s made-for-cable B-movie horror/thriller. Think along the lines of Andy Sidaris movies, but with less sex and more Samuel L. Jackson. You might not know the name Andy Sidaris, but if you ever surfed for boobies and ’splosions on late-night premium cable during the 80’s, you’re familiar with his body of work. They included such gems as Malibu Express, Savage Beach, Picasso Trigger, and Guns. You probably get the picture just from the titles. If not, consider this: most of his actresses were Playboy Playmates.
So that’s what you should expect when you walk in to see SOAP. That’s not to say that SOAP isn’t entertaining - it is, if you’re prepared to laugh at it instead of with it. Not surprisingly, I found the opening-night crowd very into it, cheering in all the right places, which helped a lot. If you can find a good theatre or a bunch of guys who enjoy B-movie schlock, consider it time well spent. I still remember when Masterchief and I saw Species 2, laughing the entire time at how ridiculous it was. In my mind, that’s money better spent than on a comedy that doesn’t make you laugh, or an action flick that’s bad but not funny.
Tags: review, sam jackson
So I could think of all sorts of fruity wordplay for this review, but the movie doesn’t mess around so neither will I. It just kicks ass. Now it does take some time to set up relationships between Crocket and Tubbs and their lady friends. Michael Mann doesn’t rush through that part, but he makes up for it with boobies, and more importantly later on, guns capable of removing limbs. The action scenes flat out rock; you do not want to wait for the DVD. See it somewhere with a great sound system and hear those .50s really sing. Ok, not so much sing as thunder - it pretty much sounded like lightning came down in the next seat over. [1]
It’s much more gritty and realistic than other action movies we’ve had lately (e.g., Mission: Impossible, which I also liked). It’s at the top, but not over the top. Yeah, it still has hot cars and boats and houses, but the series taught us 20 years ago that you need that crap to convince successful scumbags you’re just like them.
Just a reminder that Michael Mann directed Heat [2]. If you haven’t seen that lately, I can pretty much guarantee you it’s much better than you remember. It probably ranks up there as one of the most underrated action/cop/thrillers ever made. Miami Vice has the same intensity, although in different ways. Less touchy feely, more shooty stabby.
[1] And yet the burn mark was on my seat. Strange.
[2] And exec produced the Miami Vice television series.
Tags: review
Variety reports a judge has decided that it’s not ok to edit films, removing things you find offensive, then sell the edited version. Well, duh. It is ok, however, to use technology to skip over or mute stuff you don’t want to see or hear. That seems fair to me, too.
I think average opinion on this was, “Eh, it was ok.” That about sums it up. It is also one of the most anticipated films of the year, and it is selling out like crazy everywhere. I got there 45 minutes early and the line was already insane. I imagine some were there a couple hours early or more. Anyway, I thought the effects were good, especially on the sea men, but the story never really got you that involved. Some action scenes felt a bit repetitive and long, too. Of course, Keira Knightly was beautiful, but that’s gonna be the same in any movie she’s in. What I’m most curious about is the second week box office drop, and how it will fair against Superman in the long run. Normally I’d think this would go away quickly, but since everyone knows a third film is on the way, they’ll probably see it anyway.
Edit: Pirates OBLITERATED box office numbers, smashing records left and right. It’s the new #1 weekend, passing Spiderman by over $17M. This must have also beaten Aquaman by a wide margin, so Vinnie Chase has gotta be bummed.
Tags: keira knightly, review
Well, I liked it. I thought it was quite a spectacle. Of course, I am a comic book fan in general, and the character of Superman is just so hard not to like. Not everyone agrees with me, like Roger Ebert (2 stars). He makes some points about the characters being too subdued, more or less. I think if you come in without big expectations, you’ll like it. I plan on seeing it a second time in IMAX 3D, which has to be the biggest hit for IMAX ever. The one IMAX theatre in the Phillipines is booked solid until the end of this month! It will probably be in your local IMAX theatre for the next 2 months, at least.
That said, IMDB has some pretty amazing trivia about casting and direction. For those who don’t know, while the budget was $220M to film it, Warner Bros. spent $40M before filming to get it developed. Many different actors, directors, and writers were considered during this period, which lasted almost a decade. I’ve decided to grace you with my opinion on those in the running, and how the movie could have been vastly improved or run into the ground if they were involved.
Found another goofy, funny voiceover video on Josh Rehman’s blog. This one covers the scene in Lord of The Rings where Frodo wakes up and everyone comes to visit. We finally learn what they’re saying! Safe for work. I think.
Just saw The Ice Harvest, and I have to give it a pass. It’s a film noir/dark comedy, but it’s too much dark and not enough comedy. For a good, relatively modern film noir, try Body Heat or LA Confidential. For dark comedy, try Army of Darkness or Shaun of the Dead.
The following are actual foreign titles for the movie RV:
- U.K.: RV: Runaway Vacation
- Taiwan: The Mission to Relax
- Spain: Vaya Vacaciones (”What a Vacation”)
- Other Spanish-speaking countries: Crazy Vacation
- France, Switzerland and Belgium: Camping Car
This goofy video has apparently been circulating long enough to get a nod in X-Men: The Last Stand (don’t worry, no spoilers). Basically, it’s a bunch of guys recording their own audio track for one of those ’90s era X-Men cartoons. It’s not safe for work, due to profanity. Obviously the cartoon is safe to watch, so I guess it’s fine if you’ve got earphones.
I just saw this SciFi classic last night, as part of a double feature with The Day the Earth Stood Still. Experts were on hand to provide more information (including, unfortunately, spoilers). I had never seen it before, but now agree it definitely deserves it’s status as classic SciFi. It was a big budget film back in ‘56 ($1.2M), so the sets look great, esp. on that Technicolor film.
Even better looking is Altaira, played by Anne Francis . The 50’s were a great time for objectifying women, and Anne Francis was definitely worth the effort. She runs around the entire movie in ultra-flimsy micro-miniskirts and bare feet, pretty much just like the photo (although her hair is much blonder int the film). In fact, according to Wikipedia, she helped launch the miniskirt craze. It’s no stretch that Commander Adams (Leslie Nielsen) and his crew (all male, average age 24.6) are comically falling for Anne’s naive character. Nielsen, who’s almost unrecognizable to someone who knows him from his Naked Gun films created 30+ years later, does a good job, although we heard he wanted to play it cooler but the producers were against it.
And, of course, there’s the iconic Robby the Robot. Robby was built for Forbidden Planet, but has made many appearances in film, TV, and commercials since then. He also has the best line in the film, delivered when Altaira complains he took too long to arrive when she called him:
Sorry miss, I was giving myself an oil job.
Tags: classic movies, review, scifi
This is beyond any doubt, the greatest movie ever made. If we pitiful hominids are to leave something of value behind us to demonstrate our collective genius (after the Solar System explodes), a copy of this movie would qualify. It was made in 1968 and has not aged a day. You could view it today and its vision of Mankind’s future in space and beyond would stand up to scrutiny.
The spoilers will follow; if you haven’t seen it, do yourself a favor and watch the DVD until you can get to the Cinerama Dome for a big-screen showing (they have them every other year). And don’t forget to sit in the very front row, center seat at the theatre; you’ll be immersed in a psychedelic journey beyond your wildest CGI-addled dreams.
PS. When I talk about the Monolith I am referring to that big, black, rectangular piece of ebony artwork that makes an appearance throughout the film. And yes, I’ve seen the Monolith written with a capital “M” for reasons that will appear in the review that follows.l
Read the rest of this entry »
Tags: classic movies, review
Living in a world that constantly occupies and stimulates our minds
with color, sound, action, motion, etc. it occurs to me that many of
the truly obvious things in life are not being captured, stored in
our organic, transitory brains (What *does* happen after the brain
decomposes?? Where do the stored memories and abilities go?? I’ll
address that in a future thread). There are so many obvious truths that
have been learned, discovered, realized by CT members that is seems a
shame to let them go to waste into the thoughtless void of oblivion.
Which is why I am starting this series of ‘obvious’ articles. Given
my preferences, I’ll start with obvious movie facts. Mind you, these
are not opinions; these are facts which have been backed by the combined
might of the human mind and endeavour. If you haven’t heard of them yet,
then you are the perfect subject for the ‘…for Dummies’ series.
Since these articles may be full of spoilers, I will give fair warning of the
spoilers to come. Let’s start with the very popular “Chronicles of Narnia:
The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe.” If you have not seen it yet, it is now
available on DVD. Purchase the 2-disc set and avoid the movie-only set. You
will be very pleased.
[spoilers follow]
Read the rest of this entry »
Tags: review
Yep, I liked it, allot. I liked just about everything about it. Casting, cinematography, choreography, costumes, the way they were able to put together intelligent and interesting dialogue that had every letter starting with the same letter (they used V, not C like I was doing until I ran out of words). The dialogue was so good I was convinced that Kevin Smith must have been involved with the screenplay until I saw the credits. I think the reason I enjoyed V for Vendetta the most was because it didn’t feel like the regular Hollywood script written by a committee of idiots, steered by marketing monkeys and studio nitwits. Usually, in the process of dumbing down a script to feed it to the target audience, they ensure that there is a clear and simple message, yet in this case it wasn’t that way at all. Is the terrorist a good guy? See it and think about all his actions for a full day before you answer. It wasn’t complex or deep so much as fully developed in ways that are refreshing in modern cinema. Furthermore, the main ?non-spoiler? plot theme was that an oppressive government with religious overtones is bad (aka the big bad republicans if it had been written in Hollywood), yet I recognized a few quotes made by the good guy from NRA speeches and propaganda!
Of course, I LOVED Natalie, and not just in a venereal way (adj relating to sex acts or sexual desire). She rocked in at least 7 different ways that I counted. She should be in every movie that deserves her, which sadly is not that many. When she did that thing to that guy, damn, it was like, wow! (You try to write a review without spoilers.) Now, I know there will be some who will disagree with me here, but I actually loved her English accent, and I had watched Pride and Prejudice the night before (for her sexalicious clone, Kierra, who also was amazing, of course).
The actor playing the lead was also astounding. He was able to put more feeling and emotion in scenes while covered from head to toe in his costume, including the mask and hat, than most Hollywood ?actors? would be able to express if they were set on fire naked! Truly an amazing performance. Same with the lead antagonist. His speeches were scary good. I hope he never moves to Germany and runs for political office. Overall, I can’t think of the any of the main cast that wasn’t great. Bravo all around. I recommend the movie with all the credibility as a movie aficionado that I deserve.
Pretty solid (and humorous) comparison. Sorry I can’t credit the author (who’s probably British, judging from the Potter book title used), but it wasn’t me. It does reveal some plot points for both Star Wars: Episode IV and Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s (Philosopher’s) Stone, so if you haven’t seen those yet, avert thine eyes!
Tags: harry potter, star wars
I’m typically not a hater, because there’s so much good stuff out there; I’d rather spend my time praising things I love. Also, film is subjective, and I don’t want to stop you from seeing something you might like. I am making an exception because a) Ebert didn’t review it (they probably didn’t let him screen it), and b) I am very confident you won’t like this film.
Yes, I do see a lot of art, classic, and independent films, so you might discount my opinion based on that alone. But I have also seen both Resident Evil and Resident Evil: Apocalypse. Ok, I didn’t really like those, either, but both are much better films than this. I’ll break it down for you, as spoiler free as possible. Again, when I say something is bad, I mean bad compared to Resident Evil, not Citizen Cane. Heck, not even The Fifth Element.
+ The plot is, “Milla mows down soldiers effortlessly.” That’s pretty much it. Ever play an arcade game with a cheat code that gives you infinite ammo, energy, and lives? It’s kinda like that, only instead of infinite lives, you only get one. So it makes you invincible! This is an action movie with no real conflict. Very shortly into the film, you realize Milla is never in any danger, ever, because she’s just that good. There are other plot points, but they are confusing and poorly explained.
+ The effects are mediocre, except the last sequence, which is really bad. This is probably because they spent all this money on some stupid blur effect on everyone’s face to make them look digitally airbrushed, all the time. I’m sorry, but have you seen Milla Jovovich? Because she’s really hot! She does not need any airbrushing!
+ It appears that camerawork and editing are used to hide lousy fight choreography. However, the movie is only PG-13, so that also may have contributed to the lousy fight choreography.
+ Action heroes spend so much time kicking ass, they don’t have much time to talk. Therefore, it’s crucial that their lines are clever and memorable. Milla gets lines that painfully state the obvious. It would have been better if most of her lines were dropped.
+ If you’re not turned off by now, the only thing that will possibly stop you from seeing this is a reminder that it’s PG-13. That’s right, when she “gets naked”, they make sure you can’t see a darn thing. It’s only there to frustrate you.
So what can you watch instead? Well it turns out the writer/director is not an idiot. He did another action movie set in a future dystopia called Equilibrium. It stars Christian Bale (with a good supporting cast) and it’s actually quite good! It’d probably make a good double feature with Batman Begins. If you were really after Milla, rent The Fifth Element. Yeah, it can be cheesy and over the top (it’s a Luc Besson film, what do you expect?), and Chris Tucker is pretty annoying in it. But it’s also pretty entertaining, and you get a gorgeous 22 year old Milla wearing nothing but a few strips of gauze expertly designed by Jean-Paul Gaultier. I give it 3 thumbs up.
Tags: milla jovovich, review
Tonight I had a horrible experience at Arclight Cinemas in Hollywood. A couple weeks ago I purchased 4 tickets to The 40 Year Old Virgin, to be followed by a Q&A with writer/director Judd Apatow (of Freeks & Geeks and Undeclared fame). My confirmation email very clearly states that all I need to do is bring the credit card I used to a box office agent to pick up my tickets. I go to customer service, and they can’t find any reservation connected to my credit card! I only use one card, no exceptions. Nothing connected to my name or phone number, either. Nothing they can do about it, and the show is sold out. Yeah, sold out with 4 empty seats! Bastards! And this is after sitting in traffic for 1.5 hours. I am sure they will not deal with this in any satisfactory way, and try to say it wasn’t their fault, or say, “Oops, sorry about that! Now please hang up, asshole.” I have found their web site to be a flakey piece of shit in the past, but I DEFINITELY got a confirmation this time. I fully admit I should have printed it out as insurance, but it also stated I had no need to do so (and I’ve had no problems in the past). Apologies again to Agents Hulagun and Doubledeuce, whose nights were also ruined.
Tags: judd apatow, theaters
Some stuff submitted by Agents ZBalance and MasterChief:
Super Friends meets Office Space
Dungeons and Dragons taken to uncomfortable levels The term “hobbyist gamer” never sounded so good.
I continue my series on great movie cars with a very elegant automobile in a rather inelegant movie [ Blu-ray ] [ DVD ]:
Cruel Intentions: 1956 Jaguar XK-140
Average price: $75,000
This movie has 3 things going for it:
+ Selma Blair and Sarah Michelle Gellar performing one of the greatest on-screen kisses ever
+ Reese Witherspoon naked
+ A 1956 Jaguar XK 140
Other than that, not so much. Without giving too much plot away (like you’re renting it for that), Sarah bets Ryan Phillippe that he can’t nail virgin Reese Witherspoon. If she wins the bet, she gets his Jag. If he wins, he can also nail her, and she makes a not-so-subtle hint that anal sex could be involved, and in fact damn well better if he knows what’s good for him. Did I mention she’s his step-sister? Definitely my kind of freak. As soon as he realizes he looks exactly like Ryan Phillippe, he goes for it. I’m sure I would too, if I were in the same situation.
The Jag is black with a red interior, and I believe it’s a drop head coupe (DHC), not a roadster. A DHC is what we Americans call a convertible. A roadster is what we call a really stupid idea - no top at all! How did they come up with that idea in cold, rainy Britain? Beats me. Anyway, the car is beautiful, but for a long time I thought it was a 1952 XK-120, another very popular model, named after it’s top speed of 120 MPH. I doubt the 140 can do 140, but it’d be fun to try.
Tags: cars
Agent Hulagun forwarded me this clever editing job of Goblet of Fire, creating a new trailer that suggests Harry and Ron share the love that dare not speak its name. The trailer is completely tame, but other images/ads at the site might not be.
Tags: harry potter, lotr, video
First, I’m finally seeing double layer discs available to the public, without being bundled with other media you don’t need. Not terribly cheap, Amazon has Verbatim DVD+Rs (which seems to have the fewest defects) for around $10 per 3 pack. I wonder how this will affect piracy now that you can copy normal DVDs with little to no quality (or feature) loss.
The other item I caught is the imminent arrival of HD DVDs. The Consumer Electronics Show (CES) is going on in Las Vegas right now (and some day when I’m rich I’ll get tickets), so product announcements are abound. You might have heard that Sony came up with Blu-Ray as a high definition DVD format, but the DVD Consortium decided HD DVD was the better format. True to form, Sony couldn’t lose graciously and decided to go ahead with it anyway, attempting to fracture the market. And true to form, they are about to have their asses handed to them, as Toshiba is coming out with their HD DVD player several months ahead of Sony. And one other thing, heck, probably not even worth mentioning, shouldn’t have much impact at all. It’s half the friggin price! Booya! Of course, Sony will probably retaliate by not putting their movies in HD DVD format, so you’ll have to wait a long time, or by a Blu-Ray player, if you want to see a high def Kirstin Dunst all wet and cold and thinly-t-shirted in Spiderman. As much as I’d like to buy an HD DVD player as soon as they’re released, I can’t help but remember that the standard DVD players didn’t have all the kinks worked out until the 3rd generation. However, I don’t know if I’ll be able to stop myself once Netflix comes on board.
Continuing the Movie Car Collection series with another great American muscle car:
Better Off Dead: 1967 Camaro
Price range: $20,000-45,000
Better Off Dead is my favorite 80’s teen comedy. Considering the number of 80’s teen comedies, that’s pretty high praise. This car brings Lane together with cute French chick Monique (I bet he put his testicles all over her). More importantly, it flattens a Ford Falcon driven by the Asian Cosell brothers. On second thought, that’s not more important. I’d much rather have a hot French foreign exchange student than beat a Ford in a street race - I can do that with my WRX already.
Turns out, I am not the only one in love with this car, not by a long shot. There is a terrific story at betteroffdeadcamaro.com about how the owner of that site tracked down the original car (wasn’t easy!) and fully restored it to it’s former glory. Just like the movie. Wow, man.
Since the original isn’t for sale, you can settle for a diecast 1/18th scale replica. Yes, of course, it’s black.
I am finally getting a chance to expand upon my earlier post about movie cars. The first car in Archangel’s Movie Car Collection is the 1961 Corvette featured in the movie Animal House
Animal House: 1961 Corvette
Price range: $35,000-65,000
The car driven by pre-med student and all around ladies man Eric “Otter” Stratton. It’s red with white cowls. Any car with cowls automatically goes up a notch in my book. Batman has a cowl - I rest my case. This car has also been memorialized in a 1/18 scale die cast model. You can view other Animal House cars at http://www.acmewebpages.com/animal/cars.htm. Granted, it would be a little cooler if it was a convertible, but either way you’ll be turning heads and sleeping with Dean Wormer’s wife in no time.
Tags: cars
When I have more money than I know what to do with, I’ve decided that instead of burning it for warmth, I’ll buy a stable of famous movie cars. I don’t need them to be the ones that were actually filmed (although that would rock), just be the same model. Therefore, every car in my list was once a production model. No Batmobiles or Death-mobiles, unless someone decides to mass produce them, and I doubt we’ll ever get a street legal Death-mobile. Besides the Pinto and Corvair.
While I’m waiting to win the lottery or invent some perfect stock scam, I’ll be writing a series of articles to commemorate them and educate you on why I’m so damn cool. In researching these cars and movies, I found a few cool sites:
IMCDB
The Internet Movie Car Database. Thorough for some films, completely lacking for others.
Hemmings Motor News
These guys have an excellent classifieds section, both for cars and parts. The parts listing in particular is very extensive. They also sponsor(ed?) the TV show My Classic Car with Dennis Gage, which apparently is only on Speed now.
Motorbase
British database of cars. They also have auction listings and past results.
Collector Car Trader Online
Part of the “Trader Online” sites.
duPont Registry
You won’t find any candidates for restoration here, they deal exclusively with cars you can’t afford. All classics are restored, at least as far as I’ve seen. It’s also the standard for selling your used Ferraris, Lamborghinis, Rolls, etc.
Upcoming cars:
Animal House: 1961 Corvette
Better Off Dead: 1967 Camaro
Cruel Intentions: 1956 Jaguar XK-140
Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets: 1962 Ford Anglia
and more!
Tags: cars
Granted, there’s not a huge reason to review this film. It’s the fourth in a fantastic series; if you’re reading this, there’s little chance you’re going to miss it. Because that would be stupid. So I’ll just provide some supplemental material to make you a more informed viewer.
First, Alfonso Cuaron gets the gas face. This bastard (who directed Prisoner of Azkaban) convinced Goblet of Fire director Mike Newell to NOT do a Kill Bill and create two movies from the book, released a few months apart. That was the original, glorious plan. While the movie is great as is, it does a major hatchet job on the plot in the book. As a result, many subplots and nuances are removed; the Dursleys and Molly and Percy Weasley don’t even show up. This is a sad way to treat a great book. To those who were planning on watching the movie and skipping the book to get onto the others, that’s no longer an option. You would be doing yourself a huge disservice, not to mention making books 5 and 6 a bit harder to understand.
And as Agent Assassin asked, didn’t the producers want to make twice as much money? You’d think with an extra $300M+ at stake, they could have paid off Cuaron to convince Newell to do the extra movie. Or just paid Newell extra to do it (he only got $1M, vs. $10M + percentage of gross for Sorcerer’s Stone director Chris Columbus).
Speaking of Cuaron, he declined directing Goblet of Fire because he said he’d still be working on Prisoner of Azkaban. This answers the question of how they’re getting them out so quickly (one every 1.5 years) - overlapping production. Must be quite the marathon for the actors.
Speaking of actors, Emma Watson is definitely coming of age. As Ms. Watson is (ahem) a few years my junior, I thought my mind should perhaps not be wandering in that direction. Then I found out every other guy thinks she’s hot, so it’s ok. Heck, Ebert called it when she was 12, in his Chamber of Secrets review. There are, in fact, two “countdown to 18″ clocks for Emma, even though the age of consent in England is 16:
http://www.jonnydigital.com/countdowns/emma-watson (love the anime drawing)
http://www.espudd.com/articles/other/emma.php
Of course, for those worried about not looking as good as the actors in the film, another bit of trivia from the IMDB said they used computers to digitally remove any skin outbreaks, as makeup wasn’t cutting it in in the closeups. Amusingly they said they used the same process as Desperate Housewives, confirming that it doesn’t get any better with age.
I was asked to comment on watchability for kids, since this is the first Harry Potter film to get the PG-13 rating. While there is some scary/creepy imagery, it’s not very gory. Some dead bodies, sure. However, I definitely think it’s tamer than Star Wars III. If your kid’s 13, go for it. Especially if you can see it at the Grauman’s Chinese Theatre in Hollywood, that would be an experience they’d long remember. Heck, it almost makes me wish I had kids to share it with. Almost. Please don’t send me your kids.
Tags: harry potter, review
I saw Closer tonight, which I thought was extremely well written. It’s one of those films I could tell was adapted from a play, which made it better. Of course, I love dialogue films, so I’m biased (but that’s why you’re reading this). I think I was most surprised at how often I laughed, considering the dour themes and crumbling love lives, deceit and verbal evisceration. However… However. Rumors of a topless Natalie Portman have been greatly exaggerated. If I missed them (and believe me, I was looking for them, desperately) I’ll watch it again. Don’t get me wrong, you see quite a bit of her, and she is just so desirable it’ll confirm your faith in God and screenwriters.
On a related note, I can also see why there’s a ground swell of support for Clive Owen as the new James Bond. While a tremendously different genre, he came across as powerful, sharp, dark. Jude Law has reportedly stated he’s not interested in the role, and just as well. I do like his work, and I think he’d do a fine job, but Clive would do better.
Tags: natalie portman, review
Apparently, The Chronicles of Riddick series (Pitch Black, The Chronicles of Riddick) has an anime titled The Chronicles of Riddick: Dark Fury to bridge the gap between the two films. It’s directed by Peter Chung of Aeon Flux fame, so it should be pretty cool. I just wish I knew about it before the second film came out.
Tell me something I don’t already know…
The genre where Roger Ebert and I have our rare disagreements is what I call “pure comedy”. These are movies designed to make you laugh the whole way through, plot and character development be damned. I love a well crafted film as much as the next guy, but if I’m laughing hysterically throughout the whole film, that’s good enough. For him, not so much.
Team America falls into that category. It’s being billed as an equal opportunity offender, and that’s about right. It attacks the whiney liberal actors and the at-all-costs right wingers with equal aplomb. As well as formula action movies. It’s pretty hilarious throughout.
The whole thing is done with puppets, inspired by the series The Thunderbirds, and some of the humor is from puppets trying to show drama (or walking, or having sex). They thought it would be a great way to make fun of formula action flicks, especially 80’s Bruckheimer films. Actually, their original plan was to do an all-puppet version of The Day After Tomorrow, which they thought was already very funny. Without the “benefit” of having seen that film, I think this was probably the right way to go.
Tags: review
I was just watching the “making of” featurette of The Girl Next Door. The producer (I think) said “the studio” thought Elisha Cuthbert was good enough to play a girl next door, but might not be sexy enough to be portray a porn star.
Genius.
You get a girl as hot as Elisha, and make her convince you she can play sexy. This was a great bargaining tactic, as she said on the commentary she didn’t want to do full-nude like “the studio” wanted. So they tell her, “actually, we’re not even sure you’re sexy enough the play the part.”
Brilliant.
So still no full-nude, but way closer, and a fantastic performance that made me think, “Wow, it looks like she’s actually had sex before.” For those never blessed by her visage, I got some great wallpaper here. Ah, what the heck, this blog could use some eye candy…
Tags: review
Kevin Smith has decided to make a sequel to Clerks. I seem to recall him saying that this would never happen, so why now? It’s a confidence builder, both for him and Miramax. After the relatively poor performance of Jersey Girl ($10M loss before video), he wants to do something low cost ($5M) and high profit. In other words, a great investment/gift for Miramax.
If this sounds familiar, it should. It’s exactly what he did after Mallrats tanked ($2M gross, $6M budget): make Chasing Amy for $250K, which grossed over $12M.
This might sound harsh, and if you don’t like it, you can read E!’s more subtlely biased version. Smith’s “cranking out” a screenplay? Somehow I doubt that, a-hole.
Tags: kevin smith
I saw Garden State tonight. It was definitely good, but I got myself psyched up for brilliance, or at least something that spoke to me on a very personal level. There it fell short. Oh, as a hopeful screenwriter, it spoke to me, mainly as a guy who would love to write a screenplay that attracted Natalie Portman, then cast myself as the guy who gets to kiss her. That connection was made, wide and deep.
But as a guy who spent his formative years in Jersey (2/3 of my life, really), I felt there was very little to connect to. We are taught in screenwriting to come up with a great title, something that tells you what the film is about. When you’re stuck, or feel off course, you can go back to it like a compass. Garden State, however, is about its main character, Andrew Largeman. (Perhaps Largeman didn’t test as well.) Even though we both left Jersey for SoCal about 9 years ago, I didn’t feel we shared the same background. I felt Clerks “got” Jersey far better. This could’ve been set in many other states.
It’s a charming movie, though, and a great freshman effort. While the writing could have been tightened, the directing was solid. He had some strong, memorable visuals, and a soundtrack so good I was pissed I couldn’t buy it immediately. The performances were great, albeit from a fantastic cast. I’m not sure why I like Peter Sarsgaard so much, maybe it’s the credibility he lends to scenes. He’s also exudes a certain intensity.
My favorite line from Ebert’s review:
She is Sam (Natalie Portman), a local girl who is one of those creatures you sometimes find in the movies, a girl who is completely available, absolutely desirable and really likes you.
Tags: natalie portman, nj, review
Picture Keira Knightly nude, in a locker room, surrounded by other young girls. Ok, so you just stopped reading. You’re thinking of what happens next.
Tags: keira knightly
This panel was on the pros and cons of using High Definition video for independent films. What follows is a summary of the points raised by the panel, and why I’m choosing DV - not HD - for my short.
I returned Wednesday from South by Southwest (SXSW), where I had access to the Film and Interactive tracks. In short, it was really cool, and I?d recommend it strongly to any member of the Crack Team. There was far too much to do, and I ended up missing all parties, the trade show, and the web awards. However, I did attend some very thought provoking panels and saw a few films. So, ok, that doesn?t sound as cool, but as an info junkie and armchair philosopher/sociologist/film critic, I had my priorities in order. And just doing that felt like a marathon.
As I have time, I?ll post about various panels attended, films viewed, and observations gleaned while at the conference.
The film “The Passion of the Christ” has become an event-movie, much
like a hot Hollywood franchise (eg: Star Wars, The Matrix, Lord of the
Rings). As such, I can’t wait for the sequel (I’ll explain in a second).
Many viewers at the showing I attended last week were the devout, like the
elderly ladies in wheelchairs with oxygen tanks and masks. They probably
don’t go to the movies as much as I do, and this movie was an event that they could not resist. Other viewers were the curious, people that are trying to
measure their strong stomachs against 2 hours of purported blood-letting and
torture. Finally, there were the skeptics. It’s all over the news that this movie
is a piece of anti-semitic propaganda, made injudiciously at best, or maliciously
at worst. That final group of viewers were here to verify for themselves
the truth of these charges.
Tags: review
That was probably the biggest story of Oscar night - no upsets. Lord of the Rings swept like a broom, and in some categories I felt it was carried by its own momentum rather than its merit. I loved the books and thoroughly enjoyed the films, which I admit was an insane undertaking, and should have been recognized earlier. Perhaps if it had, maybe some more deserving nominees (IMHO) might have won. As Agent Renegade has said, the Academy loves films that put a lot of people to work, and the trilogy spread the wealth to over 25,000 people. Well, I guess I’m a lot happier for it than I was for Titanic. Here’s my take on a few categories:
Read the rest of this entry »
The technical Oscars took place on Valentine’s Day, and Jennifer Garner made a lot of new friends. She now has the undying love of Hollywood’s best and brightest, in addition to the CIA [USAToday.com]. My favorite quote from the CNN story:
“The audience cheered loudly whenever she pronounced a particularly daunting technical term properly.”
Are we party animals or what?