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It’s true, I never was a big Apple fan. I got my kids iPods because they relentlessly kept on asking. Oh, and the players were free when I signed up for a bank account (back in the day).

I inherited the old iPods and am using one today. They are not bad devices: easy to use and pretty to look at. But they are overpriced and I hate having to use iTunes to access my music. I hate being sold new material at every turn. I would love to have a simple drag-and-drop interface.

Sure there were MP3s before the iPod. I don’t blame Steve Jobs for making lossy music palatable. But I don’t share in the global outporing of grief that’s on every TV, computer and iPlatform in the world, either.

And Steve Jobs has a family that’s going thru the grieving process. So why start these tasteless Steve Jobs jokes? We may as well ask why we climb Mt. Everest. It’s because we can.

And you have to admit that it takes talent to make a clever joke about a sad, troubling situation. Sort-of like those improvisation shows where a performer is asked to make a joke about starving Somalians. A very poor-taste request, but also a challenge.

So here’s some jokes about the death of the iconic founder of Apple and the creator of the greatest devices in the world:

• I hear President Obama has been implicated in the passing of the iconic Apple founder…
  his economic policies killed jobs.

• Steve Jobs’ funeral will feature a private viewing for his many fans.
  As each person passes in front of the casket, they’ll pay 99 cents.

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After joining the Toyota dealership, Prasher applied for a couple of science-related jobs in Huntsville, but nothing worked out. On one occasion he had an encouraging meeting with the hiring manager at a local company working on microfluidics; when the interviewer learned that Prasher drove a courtesy van, his interest cooled. There is no way to know how many other potential researchers were driven from their studies for similar reasons, or how many potential discoveries were never made because of the psychological and practical difficulties of the scientific lifestyle.

Finally in June 2010, several weeks after my visit, Prasher’s luck changed. He e-mailed me to say he’d been offered a science job at Streamline Automation, a local research and development company. Staffed by about 20 people, the company does work for NASA, the National Science Foundation, and the U.S. Department of Defense. Prasher’s first task when he started in late June was to help develop technology to sense toxic industrial gases.

He began cautiously. “There was none of the tremendous relief you might expect,” he says. “I had been so discouraged over the years that my attitude was, this may work out and it may not.” Gradually he settled into the job. At home he occasionally took science reading to bed, something he hadn’t done in years. “A lot of the hangdog is gone,” Gina told me. 
In December Prasher won a six-month, $70,000 grant from the Department of Defense to develop a field technique for categorizing tick specimens according to their mitochondrial genes, in hopes of limiting the diseases a doctor might diagnose. It brought a sense of accomplishment that had been missing from his life for a long time. In January he told me that the cloud of depression he had lived under for years was finally lifting. Science gave him a sense of purpose.

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Las Vegas

I definitely wanted to have a good Pastrami sandwich in Sin City (I mean, every cardinal sin is represented there, so why not gluttony?) As it turns out, I found a place that had a very nicely put-together sandwich and did not leave me feeling stuffed: Greenberg’s Deli  in the New York, New York Casino. They had matzo ball soup, which was a very nice touch to accompany my pastrami. I passed on the yummy potato salad, I was feeling somewhat full. This place was recommended by CT team members as better than the Carnegie Deli elsewhere on the strip and it delivered the taste. And better priced too….

I also took my son to the Las Vegas Grand Prix  and besides having 3 tracks of go-karts (kiddie, medium, expert) they also had a pretty good deal on cheese pizza ($5.00 for a large with 1 topping). Heck, given the price I would overlook bad taste, but it was actually pretty good !! The trick is to ask them to put extra cheese as the free topping. And the crust was nice and thin; you can’t go too wrong when you have thin NY-style crust.

I also tried another comfort food, Smash Burger Las Vegas . This is another burger joint in the In-N-Out price and quality category; more so, they are actually located about 100 yards from In-N-Out !! Now that’s confidence. As it turns out, these 2 restaurants are so good that they actually support each other by providing a destination hamburger experience. Why go to a cheap hamburger place when you can try a better burger for a little more cash? Smash Burger offers choices of toppings and flattens their patties so that they overlap the bun. Not sure if this improves flavor (I would think it would make them drier) because I prefer to order their Chicago dog. But their rosemary fries are the best I have tasted. Ever. Even better than my all-time fast-food favorites at McDonalds.

Finally, I had dinner at Prime at the Bellagio; I wanted to try their dry-aged beef. Would it compare to my experience at Eiffel Tower Restaurant in Paris last year?? Sad to say, the answer is no. The view of the famous Bellagio water fountain show is definitely better at Paris, across the street. And the beef, despite the premium price, was not a totally memorable experience. It was very tender and the taste was good, especially when coupled with the various chef’s sauces that were proferred. But the experience did now compare favorably with the Roast Duck I had at Paris. But hey, I’m comparing apples and oranges, so it’s not really fair. Still, I will be going back to Eiffel Tower Restaurant next year. The Eiffel Tower is also cheaper, although not as nicely decorated as Prime; but you never notice the decor because you are staring out the window panes: the view is what Paris is selling and it is pretty nice.

Back Home

At home, I’ve been doing the Food Truck circuit. I was able to visit 2 events where several food trucks were present but I still ended up eating at Grill Them All Burgers both times. At the Fullerton Food Truck RoundUp  it was tough to pass up all of the other trucks but I was interested in trying the H-100 tater tots at Grill Them All. Seeing someone eating a $12.00 lobster tail on a stick was a pretty tempting suggestion, but I stuck to my guns.¹

At today’s Din Din Food Truck Event, I had to pass Central American tapas and Lomo Arigato food truck to complete my tour of the top 3 burgers at Grill Them All. But I’ve now had the three that I wanted: Waste ‘Em All, Molly Hatchet, The Behemoth. You can read more about them here.  You may not be a burger aficionado, but you should be able to find other delicacies at these gourmet food trucks. They also post their locations on Twitter and on their own websites, so you can find them easily.

1. The picture shows a really long line in front of Grill Them All; they tend to be one of  the more popular truck in the circuit.

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The Picture Show theatre (Santa Ana Main Place Mall)  now offers second run 3-D movies for $3.00  and that’s not a mis-type.  On Tuesdays,  3-D movies are a measly three bucks (four dollars all other days).     And from what I can tell you get the regular 3-D glasses packed in sanitary plastic.   Maybe they’ll offer a 50-cent discount if I bring my own.

But for now,  this is pretty amazing price-point for the technology.  Check them out here:  http://www.pictureshowent.com/locations/santa-location

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This is going to be a touchy subject, so I’m immediately going to defend the title.  This article represents my opinion only and here are my qualifiers:  I am partly of Asian descent so I feel I can write these words without seeming prejudiced against folks from the world regions that used to be called “Oriental” (that would be the Far East; continental Asians such as Indians and people from the Middle East are not included in this discussion).

So this is only my own, twisted, outrageous viewpoint.  But please believe that I am not being sensationalistic for shock value: I really do not find Asian girls attractive.¹  I think this has a lot to do with the environment I experienced as a child (heavily Jewish neighborhood, almost totally Caucasian school) and not with any learned behaviors.

Therefore, my view is totally unfair to the beautiful ladies gracing this page, or to the many good looking ladies married/dating many members of the CT.  This only represents my preference, and nobody should care about my preferences, really.²

I watch a lot of Chinese, Japanese TV shows and movies so I’m definitely exposed to lots of beautiful actresses.  But no matter how highly regarded they are, I am not in the slightest moved or attracted.  Is this a loss or an advantage? I’d like to think that not being attracted to these ladies gives me a bit of an advantage.  I cannot be manipulated or influenced by the beauty of a good 50% of the world’s population.  This is good.  It feels a bit like a super-power of sorts.

So the title of the article should be “Asians? Not attractive to me, and that’s great !!”

1. or Asian guys, by strong inference !!
2. except for my wife, and I am definitely attracted to her.  She is not Asian.

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Unfortunately, my delay has cost me dearly.  In the years since I tried out this fantastic new technology, most studios have disabled the Close-Captioning signal opting instead for built-in subtitles.  So TV Guardian has in effect stopped working for 50% of the movies on DVD and all movies on Blu-Ray, which does not carry the CC signal.

Enter James Cameron, my hero.

He is releasing a 3-disc collector’s edition of Avatar,  featuring a family-friendly language track.  In this New York Times article,  he mentions that he was motivated to do this by watching his kids picking up foul language from watching the original movie soundtrack.  He reasons that the clean language track will be made available for airline and network showing, so why not include it now in the Collector’s Edition release.

This is very wise.  One of the things that initially excited me about the DVD format was the capability to include alternate soundtracks with the movie.  Over time, most studios used this feature to include commentaries by the director, producer, actors, SFX and caterers and anyone else remotely connected.  And not a single one ever included a clean-language track.² 

Now, the entire world is grousing about the fact that James Cameron has not included a commentary track to Avatar.  But between you and me,  I am 10 times more likely to listen to the clean language track in repeated viewing with my family than to listen to the commentary, as desirable as the latter may be.

Foul language adds substance to some films (Quentin Tarantino come to mind)  but most other times it is just used as a filler to make sure that your movie does not get the dreaded PG rating.   And I’m not looking for vulgarisms to enhance the reality of a scene.   Reality may come at the cost of barraging me with foul language and that’s a hefty price.  No need to have the theatre usher pummel me during action scenes so that I can feel the pain.

Let the free market decide what supplements are more useful in a DVD or Blu Ray release.     Just hopin’ that the world follows your lead, Mr. Cameron.  You are a true visionary.

1. Exclamation points deleted, because nobody gets excited about a hug
2. Roger Ebert has railed against clean-language tracks, calling them bowlderized travesties.  But he doesn’t strike me as a person that watches film with his family.

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There’s even a club in Pasadena, CA that promotes the eradication of cuss words, and their membership is growing.  And folks are taking to making up fake words that *sound* like cuss words so that they can avoid doing the nasty².

But don’t judge them too harshly.  There’s a reason ‘bad’ words are used today and were in use in Shakespeare’s time (although I don’t think he ever put anything too harsh in his works).   They are a great substitute for *actually* punching someone/something out because you are mad/frustrated at some perceived slight.  Think about it:  primitive peoples chose some random sound and assigned it a ‘bad’ meaning, and agreed that using that sound would connote anger and pseudo-violence.   So instead of fighting it out with the guy who cuts you off in the freeway,  you can let a few cuss words fly and it has the same effect³

And sometimes, cuss words are just poetic, bringing me back to my main point.  I remember the first time that I encountered my favorite cuss word.   I was reading the works of Harlan Ellison; it was one of his short stories that was later turned into the Terminator movies.  As the humans are fighting SkyNet, they rally to the cry  “Smash those Metal Motherf***rs!!”  and I believe that this actually made it into the script of the first Terminator movie⁴.    Is there a more perfect matchup of two words??  Think about how much anger and hatred that simple statement conveys.  And yet it is perfectly clear that a robot will NEVER be able to carry out the action in that statement.  A robot has no mother, and as an emotionless entity, does not want to copulate with his mother.  And since they replicate by assembling themselves in automated factories, there is no reason on Earth why a robot would copulate with another robot !!

But forget reason and logical argument.  Just sit back and enjoy the melodious sound of the perfect cuss word.  Better yet, use it yourself.  But always tie it to a noun to which it could never apply; this makes it the perfect matchup.  I have been using it of late, after watching the media coddling Democratic politicians in interviews.   I rally to the cry “Motherf***ing Fourth Estate Wannabes!!”   There, doesn’t that feel better already?

Disclaimer: I have been and always will be a displaced New Yorker.  We know the value of a good cuss word.  Any New Yorker worth his salt will appreciate what I say.

1. Remember how awful it was when people started using “Smurfy” instead of a real word?
2. My favorite comes from Dahl’s move “The Amazing Mr. Fox” where the word “cuss” actually takes the place of a cuss word.  Brilliant !!
3. Well, sometimes words escalate into violence, but that’s not how it’s supposed to work.
4. Fear not, gentle Reader.  Harlan Ellison successfully sued them to include his name in the credits

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There is a similarly-sized asteroid heading our way,  scheduled to make a short pass with Earth in the year 2029.    And President Obama has stated that NASA’s new mission is to intercept this asteroid and deflect it.

Yes, it’s officially a White House policy.

The President is wasting our money by sending astrounauts to explore an asteroid, a feat that is wayyyyyyy harder than going to Mars or even returning to the Moon. 

Now, I’m a big proponent of studying Aphophis,  the asteroid that is going to destroy Earth on Friday April 13th, 2029.   But there’s little to learn there, compared to the riches of Mars or even the Moon.  The President is just finding a talking point that does not create any actionable effort during his Presidency

On the other hand,  he may have just opened up a can of worms by calling attention to the asteroid.   Any 2-bit spacefaring country can now send a rocket to intercept Apophis and park itself in close orbit.   The gravity tractor effect over 19 years can ASSURE that we WILL be hit by the asteroid.   This is so typical.   First the liberals outlawed DDT and killed millions and now this Obama is putting the entire Earth in peril.

1. a medicine man

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Sarah Palin does a pretty credible job getting back at our old friend William Shatner.  If Bill’s reaction is genuine surprise at her sudden appearance, then I am even more impressed with Bill’s acting abilities !!  Someone really, really needs to get him in the Star Trek sequel quickly, before he joins Scotty and Bones in the big Starship in the Sky. 

Oh, and by the way.  Bill is a Canadian actor taking valuable Hollywood jobs away from US citizens.  Can someone get the immigration problem in this country corrected?  Too many Canadians are coming down to take our high-paying white-collar jobs in this country.   Forget the Mexican border; folks down there are coming to take the lesser-paying jobs and will not affect your six-figure, professional position.   It’s the Canadians that are the problem.  And they look just like you and me so that they are harder to find and deport.

However, good going Conan.   You are so good at this that I may start watching the Tonight Show again.  I stayed away for the last 15 or so years, but I think the Show is in good, capable hands again.   Can anyone tell me what happened to Triumph, the Insult Dog?²

Finally,  I just have to mention this item that I read in the news about poor Tiger Woods.  No more jokes, this is serious.   Here’s the excerpt in the news from one of his supporters:

“One thing people don’t understand is that we’re human,” Heat guard Dwyane Wade said in Miami. “You’re not born with a menu on how not to do things wrong. You’re going to make mistakes like every human being.”

Actually Dwyane, there is a menu that you were given when you were small.   It’s called The Bible.   Sure it’s old and seemingly out-of-date or out-of-touch.  It’s as old as Humanity, and it does seem to be in touch with the foibles and peccadillos that affect all of us, all of the time, since the beginning of time.    I don’t think Mr. Woods is the first person that has ever cheated on his wife; plenty of those stories in the Bible.  You may want to crack it open one of these days.

1. I’m not implying that most bloggers are out-of-work, left-of-center hipsters with too much time on their hands.  But it is an effective stereotype.
2. As I said earlier,  I’ve been away from TV for awhile.

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Officially, it is a voluntary program.  But we remember other “voluntary” programs like prayer in schools.  In that instance, any kids that refused to pray with all of the others were either ostracized or branded as atheists.   So I’m sure that any kids that opt out of the President’s inspirational message will be similarly affected.  I personally do not mind being branded a discontent at age 10, but it does affect your chances to get hired at the local hardware store for the summer when you turn 14.   That’s a heavy burden to bear.

The President should bear in mind other efforts to inspire young people without a chance for other voices to be heard.  This one-party messaging could eventually morph into something akin to Hitler’s propaganda machine.  One of their weirder efforts was this coloring book exhorting the Young German to do something that was probably decent and helpful.  But when a commendable exhortation turns into “obey my orders”  and “kill Jewish people”  then we have a little problem.¹

Hitler's Coloring Book

1. Just to make sure my message doesn’t get lost: Hitler was a bad man and killed a lot of innocent people.  We don’t want to be like him

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