Forbidden Cinema

What is your fascination with my forbidden closet of mysteries? -Chief Wiggum

When I was 9, I remember seeing the trailer for The World According to Garp, thinking it looked awesome.

I was a huge fan of Robin Williams due to Mork & Mindy, which was in its third season when the movie premiered. In addition to the fun and wacky antics the trailer showed, I was especially intrigued because it was rated R – apparently for something involving sex. I really wanted to see this movie. Of course, there was no way my parents would let me watch it.

Tonight, 26 years later, I finally watched it. I’m sure I had many opportunities to do so in between, but something kept me from it. I think I knew it couldn’t live up to the hype my 9 year old brain had generated. Even though I tried to lower my expectations, I was disappointed. It’s based on a John Irving novel that was a major best seller at the time, and after reading some comments by those who’ve seen/read both (including Ebert’s review), it lost a bit in the translation and didn’t add anything to make up for it. It’s less fun and sexy and more slow and tragic than I could have ever imagined from watching the trailer. Not bad, per se, but not something I’d recommend to anyone who hasn’t read the book.

Not long after being denied Garp, I was shooed out of the room during a bestial orgy scene in The Howling. I remember pouting like crazy. Of course, I was allowed to watch the rest of the film, including a scene where a werewolf, in human form, is shot in the forehead, then reaches into the bullet hole and pulls out some brain whilst spouting the line, “Let me give you a piece of my mind.” Violence? No problem.

Other sexually charged films I was desperately curious about (and which still remain on my yet-to-see list) are Cat People (the 1982 remake) and The Unbearable Lightness of Being (which I’ve begun reading). I distinctly remember passing the latter in the video store again and again, never having the guts to attempt a covert rental. The remarkable thing – other than the early 80’s being a big era for such films – is that these are films many adults wouldn’t fully comprehend (or at least only superficially). I imagine there were a few 9 year olds in 2001 maddeningly curious about Mulholland Drive, a film I’m still not sure I get. Perhaps it’s best that I waited…

No Hummers

Relax, I haven’t become a tree hugger, nor am I swearing off oral sex. My problem is that every damned time I go to the men’s room, there’s somebody in the other stall humming.

And it’s not always the same guy, either. Different people. It’s really disconcerting when you’re trying to pinch a loaf and there’s someone 2 1/2 feet away just getting to the bridge of “My Heart Must Go On.” I mean, really now. Is this necessary? I can still detect (how could I not) what smells like you’ve dragged a rotting corpse into the stall with you, and I can still hear, over the humming, what sounds like a fireworks display, or like you’re violating the aforementioned rotting corpse. Enough, already!

On that note, I’m off to find the Times and a set of earplugs.

The 1972 Fischer – Spassky Times for Game 15

This article lists the times taken for the moves of game 15 of the 1972 Fischer – Spassky World Chess Championship Match.

Game 15, August 17-18, 1972

    Spassky         Fischer
    White           Black
                    (ar)  (0:04)
 1. e4     (0:00)   c5    (0:04)
(Spassky left after making his first move and returned 3 minutes after Fischer made his move.)
    (ar)   (0:03)
 2. Nf3    (0:03)   d6    (0:05)
 3. d4     (0:03)   cxd4  (0:05)
 4. Nxd4   (0:03)   Nf6   (0:05)
 5. Nc3    (0:03)   a6    (0:05)
 6. Bg5    (0:04)   e6    (0:05)
 7. f4     (0:05)   Be7   (0:05)
 8. Qf3    (0:05)   Qc7   (0:05)
 9. 0-0-0  (0:07)   Nbd7  (0:05)
10. Bd3    (0:07)   b5    (0:10)
11. Rhe1   (0:07)   Bb7   (0:12)
12. Qg3    (0:07)   0-0-0 (0:43)

Continue reading The 1972 Fischer – Spassky Times for Game 15

The 1972 Fischer – Spassky Times for Game 9

This article lists the times taken for the moves of the 1972 Fischer-Spassky World Chess Championship Match.

Game 9, August 1st, 1972

    Spassky        Fischer
    White          Black
                   (ar)  (0:10)
 1. d4    (0:00)   Nf6   (0:12)
(When Fischer appeared, Spassky had already left and did not come back until 4 minutes after Fischer's move.)
    (ar)  (0:04)
 2. c4    (0:04)   e6    (0:13)
 3. Nf3   (0:05)   d5    (0:14)
 4. Nc3   (0:06)   c5    (0:22)
 5. cxd5  (0:07)   Nxd5  (0:22)

Continue reading The 1972 Fischer – Spassky Times for Game 9

The 1972 Fischer – Spassky Times for Game 16

This article lists the times taken for the moves of game 16 of the 1972 Fischer – Spassky Match.

Game 16, August 20th, 1972

    Fischer        Spassky
    White          Black
    (ar)  (0:09)   (ar)  (-:01)
 1. e4    (0:09)
(Spassky appeared a minute before play was to begin.  When Fischer arrived and played his move, Spassky had gone.  He returned  two minutes later.)
                   (ar)  (0:02)
 1.                e5    (0:03)
 2. Nf3   (0:09)   Nc6   (0:03)
 3. Bb5   (0:09)   a6    (0:03)
 4. Bxc6  (0:10)   dxc6  (0:03)
 5. 0-0   (0:10)   f6    (0:04)
 6. d4    (0:10)   Bg4   (0:06)
 7. dxe5  (0:10)   Qxd1  (0:06)
 8. Rxd1  (0:10)   fxe5  (0:06)
 9. Rd3   (0:16)   Bd6   (0:06)
10. Nbd2  (0:20)   Nf6   (0:07)
11. Nc4   (0:27)   Nxe4  (0:11)
12. Ncxe5 (0:29)   Bxf3  (0:25)

Continue reading The 1972 Fischer – Spassky Times for Game 16

The 1972 Fischer – Spassky Times for Game 17

This article lists the times for the moves of game 17 of the 1972 Fischer – Spassky World Chess Championship Match.

Game 17, August 22th, 1972

    Spassky          Fischer
    White            Black
                     (ar)  (0:05)
 1. e4      (0:00)   d6    (0:05)
 2. d4      (0:02)   g6    (0:05)
 3. Nc3     (0:06)   Nf6   (0:09)
 4. f4      (0:07)   Bg7   (0:09)
 5. Nf3     (0:07)   c5    (0:24)
 6. dxc5    (0:12)   Qa5   (0:24)
 7. Bd3     (0:13)   Qxc5  (0:25)

Continue reading The 1972 Fischer – Spassky Times for Game 17

The 1972 Fischer – Spassky Times for Game 18

This article lists the times taken for the moves of game 18 of the Fischer – Spassky World Chess Championship Match.

Game 18, August 24-25, 1972

    Fischer        Spassky
    White          Black
    (ar)  (0:08)
 1. e4    (0:08)   c5     (0:02)
 2. Nf3   (0:09)   d6     (0:02)
 3. Nc3   (0:09)   Nc6    (0:03)
 4. d4    (0:09)   cxd4   (0:03)
 5. Nxd4  (0:09)   Nf6    (0:03)
 6. Bg5   (0:10)   e6     (0:04)
 7. Qd2   (0:10)   a6     (0:04)
 8. 0-0-0 (0:10)   Bd7    (0:05)
 9. f4    (0:10)   Be7    (0:06)
10. Nf3   (0:12)   b5     (0:06)
11. Bxf6  (0:13)   gxf6   (0:07)
12. Bd3   (0:18)   Qa5    (0:30)

Continue reading The 1972 Fischer – Spassky Times for Game 18

The 1972 Fischer – Spassky Times for Game 19

This article lists the times taken for the moves of game 19 of the 1972 Fischer – Spassky World Chess Championship match.

Game 19, August 27th, 1972

    Spassky        Fischer
    White          Black
 1. e4             Nf6
 2. e5             Nd5
 3. d4             d6
 4. Nf3            Bg4
 5. Be2            e6
 6. 0-0   (0:04)   Be7   (0:05)
 7. h3    (0:06)   Bh5   (0:06)
 8. c4    (0:08)   Nb6   (0:08)
 9. Nc3   (0:08)   0-0   (0:08)
10. Be3   (0:16)   d5    (0:27)
11. c5    (0:22)   Bxf3  (0:27)
12. Bxf3  (0:43)   Nc4   (0:27)

Continue reading The 1972 Fischer – Spassky Times for Game 19

The 2008 Anand – Kramnik Times for Game 1

This article lists the times taken for the moves of game 1 of the 2008 World Chess Championship Match between Viswanathan Anand and Vladimir Kramnik in Bonn, Germany.

Game 1, October 14th, 2008

    Kramnik        Anand
    White          Black
 1. d4    (1:59)   d5    (1:59)
 2. c4    (1:59)   c6    (1:59)
 3. Nc3   (1:59)   Nf6   (1:59)
 4. cxd5  (1:59)   cxd5  (1:59)
 5. Bf4   (1:59)   Nc6   (1:58)
 6. e3    (1:59)   Bf5   (1:57)
 7. Nf3   (1:58)   e6    (1:56)
 8. Qb3   (1:56)   Bb4   (1:54)
 9. Bb5   (1:55)   O-O   (1:53)
10. Bxc6  (1:48)   Bxc3+ (1:52)
11. Qxc3  (1:48)   Rc8   (1:52)
12. Ne5   (1:48)   Ng4   (1:46)
13. Nxg4  (1:41)   Bxg4  (1:46)
14. Qb4   (1:40)   Rxc6  (1:42)
15. Qxb7  (1:36)   Qc8   (1:26)

Continue reading The 2008 Anand – Kramnik Times for Game 1