October 2006

Two movies I made showing my bad parenting.

Lessons in Hindsight (part 1)

Lessons in Hindsight (part 2)

Yes, it’s high time to discuss that most-kept of secrets. There’s more in Casablanca that meets the eye. This is another chapter in the series of “It’s Obvious…” film articles that started with the following entries:

Episode 1. It’s Obvious, Narnia

Episode 2. It’s Obvious, 2001

In this entry, I will discuss the high possibility that the main character in that most respected of film classics, Casablanca, was quite gay. Yes you heard it right. The character played by that most admired of macho actors, Humphrey Bogart, was as gay as Hollywood could dare to write in the high-suspicion environment of post-World-War-II America. I personally am just “shocked, shocked” that this revelation was not caught, expounded, denounced or cherished in such outre documentaries like “Out of the Closet Hollywood.” Oh well, perhaps they can add a small segment to the DVD release and credit me, bladerunner at CrackTeam.org, for this insight.

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This is unusual for me; I never write about music. That is probably because all of the composers on my playlist have been dead for hundreds of years (Mozart is 250 this year, woo-hoo!) and my pop music tastes tend to be Beatles-bland. The less said about it, the better.

But some days ago I attended a cool concert at a friend’s house. The venue was intimate –45 people or less—and the artist was new to me. Bob Bennett is a well-known Christian guitar player, and his folksy ballads are what I remember about that evening gathering. The guitar was expertly and sweetly played (again, I don’t know enough music-related adjectives to give a good description) but the real draw were the vivid lyrics and sheer poetry of his work. Hmmm…. I have heard the phrase ‘dulcet tones’ used, but I don’t know if it applies to the vigorous work that Bob Bennett performed that night.

Also included:our evening is graced by an iconic film actor who just happens to play a mean guitar…..

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Upon first hearing Mindless Self Indulgence (MSI), I immediately wanted to learn more about them. And when I had done so, I knew I had somehow failed. How could music this good have eluded me for 7 years? I realized it was time to stop telling people I was into industrial music, since clearly I couldn’t be without hearing of these guys.

They’re super-catchy industrial/electro/DJ/hip-hop brilliance. The lyrics are out there, kinda self-deprecating, ironic, tongue-in-cheek rambling. But I really dig the energetic vocals of frontman Little Jimmy Urine. Uh, yeah, that’s his stage name, only to be topped by other band member “Steve, Righ?” (sic). My only criticism is that they can be a bit repetitive, as there’s not a ton of variation between songs. Well, they’ve got their style and they’re sticking to it. And there’s plenty of remixes to go around, from some of the coolest industrial bands (Front 242, KMFDM, FLA, and many others).

They’re compared to… well, who cares? Thanks to the wonderous glory of YouTube, I shall regale you with hand picked videos, allowing you to judge for yourself. I’ve moved them to the “more” section, partly because they’re not safe for work (well, maybe if you have headphones), but mostly to make the page load faster (and not have your workplace think you’re visiting YouTube).

BTW, they’re touring on the east coast, including Asbury Park and Philly.

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I’ve been thinking of my next PC. It will be a beast all around, and totally more than I need, but on par with what I want. One of the components on this mythical system is the Dell 3007WFP, a 30″ LCD monitor.

Everyone knows bigger is better. Ok, yes, except for penis size (you heard Shannon Doherty in Mallrats, a good size means small). But for monitors, 30″ has to be better than 24″, right? Well, maybe.

The problem is something called “native resolution”. That’s tech talk for, “if you use a different resolution, it will look shitty”, at least in comparison. And you didn’t shell out all that money to look at something with subpar clarity. You can usually switch to a lower res in an even multiple. In other words, if the native resolution is 1280 x 1024, you can cut that to 640 x 512 and still have it look good. You’re now using four pixels to represent one, so it’s still a square.

You might be asking yourself, “Why would I want fewer pixels? We just established that more is better!” And if you live in the 2D world, you’re probably right. Watching movies, surfing the web, reading email - no big deal.

But most games create a 3D world, and that world is computationally intensive, and that intensity is resolution-dependent. The higher the resolution, the harder your graphics card has to work. A couple years ago I bought a Radeon X800 Pro graphics card, which was definitely high-end at the time ($400 retail [1]). I bought it to play World of Warcraft at high resolutions. The game played fine for a while, but eventually it would sputter and stall and crash. Maybe 15-20 minutes into it [2]. Then I upgraded damn near everything else, but it still crashed. Obviously, the good folks at Blizzard wouldn’t provide a resolution choice that was impossible to play with state of the art equipment. And if they did, well, their tech support people would tell you right away. “Lower your resolution! That setting is for hardware that hasn’t been invented yet!” Well, I never heard that, but maybe that kind of honesty only comes after you’ve fetched all their rocks. I finally broke down and lowered the resolution and some effects, and voila, it ran smoothly for hours. Same thing happened with Oblivion.

Oh, when I say high resolution, we’re talking 1280 x 1024, not 1600 x 1200. 1.3 megapixels. My card maxed out at about 1024 x 768, less than .8 megapixels.

In other words, nowhere near the 2650 x 1600 native resolution of the Dell 3007WFP. Simple math puts that at 4.24 megapixels, more than 5 times the max res. of the X800. The card is now 2 years old, understood, but it’s still not bottom of the barrel. Even so, let’s discount it. Let’s look at the awesomest card on the market, the GeForce 7900 GTX SLI. $470 on PriceGrabber.com. According to the VGA charts at Tom’s Hardware, that card only gets 20 FPS on the benchmark for Oblivion run at 1600×1200 with everything on, in an outdoor scene (very common in that game). I don’t know if that’s single or dual card setup, but they also say that an extra card only buys you a 30-40% boost. And remember, while 1600×1200 may sound high (and it is!), it’s less than half of 2650×1600! Assuming the complexity scales linearly with resolution [3], you’d need a card 3 times more powerful than the best card available. And probably a stronger CPU, too. And that’s on a game released months ago. What happens when you try to run future games, using DirectX 10? You’re probably stuck running in 1325×800, if that resolution is even offered by the game. Most likely, you’re in a crappy looking non-native resolution, just so you can get the game to run. What a waste!

Luckily, there aren’t any games driving me to build this beast, not even the upcoming Neverwinter Nights 2. Alas, the original plan of waiting for Diablo III is still in effect. I’ll have to find something else to waste stupid amounts of money on. Perhaps a bigger penis…

Update:

I thought I was wrong, but I was mistaken. I thought I might not be throwing enough money at the problem. Well, Tom’s Hardware’s $10,000 PC - with quad SLI (that’s four videocards bridged together) - gets less than 18 FPS on Oblivion outdoors. Granted, it does well on all their other game tests, but I don’t want to play those games! Check out Tom’s PC anyway, it’s an interesting read.

[1] Amusing story about that. Friend went to a major electronics store, let’s call them Pommes Frittes, or Fri’s for short. Wanted a Radeon 9600 with DVI for his pricey Apple LCD. It’s on sale for $130, but when he goes to buy it, it rings up as $400. He points out the price tag and the sale sign to the cashier, who agrees and charges him the marked price. He goes home. He opens the box. Inside: another box. This one says Radeon X800. It’s price tag says $400. Clearly, some shennanigans going on at Fri’s, probably a warehouse guy setting himself up for some extra take-home pay, which my friend inadvertently thwarts. But it’s win/win, as I buy it off him for $250. Huzzah!

[2] If you know the game, it also happened as soon as I took a gryphon ride.

[3] This is a really big assumption, but I have a hunch I’m being lenient.

Bionic Woman
The show is being redone by the producer/writer team that reinvented Battlestar Galactica. When I first heard about the changes to BSG, I had low expectations (Starbuck a woman???). But it turned out to be a great show. I have a feeling the same thing might happen here. Well, I don’t know if I’ll like it, but I expect to have low expectations after hearing the changes. A Variety article alluded to a reinvention so big, she might not even be a government super-agent. Just, like, a woman with a lot of shit to take care of. If so, not my cup o’ tea.

Bad Judge
Another judge show, but the first I might actually watch. At least once. Why? The judge will be Jon Lovitz, and he’ll be given free reign to preside over real cases. I’ve always liked his stuff - enjoyed his recent standup, liked his SNL characters, and loved The Critic. Let’s see how good he is unscripted.

Entourage: The Later Years
Ok, so that’s not the real name. Entourage creator Doug Ellin is working on a new show that’s supposed to answer the question, “What happens when the Entourage guys grow up?” Except it’s not in Socal, it’s in NY. And, oh yeah, he’s not an actor, he’s a Wall Street trader. The fact is, you don’t want to see a show about Vinnie Chase, day trader. But you wouldn’t mine watching the Wall Street version of Ari Gold - that would make a show.

I saw this clip of a program called ASSIST (MIT) which is used as a design aid for mechanical applications.
Probably old-news to some Crack Team members, but the clip just started showing up and I though I’d share.

http://thatvideosite.voxcdn.com/core/3406/mit_digital_drawing_board.wmv

I’m told that Microsoft has a “Physics Illustrator” that works the same way.
Anyone have any experience with this kind of software?

Life is not fair. It is just not friggin fair. I just found out that Diedrich Coffee is selling 40 of its 47 company-owned stores. To Starbucks! First they buy Seattle’s Best Coffee, now Diedrich. It’s a cryin’ shame.

Starbucks plans to assimilate all the stores and regular employees. Managers will be invited to apply for assimilation. At least with SBC, the stores were left untouched. I’m guessing this is due in part to the fact that they’re both Seattle-based based companies, and the good, independent-minded people of Seattle wouldn’t stand for it (i.e., they’d be a slight public-relations nuissance). But more importantly, Starbucks bought the entire SBC corporation. In Diedrich’s case, they’re only buying (most of) the stores, so there will still be a few operated by Diedrich and franchisees.

But you’re totally screwed if you’re in California! Two car dealer coffee kiosks are all that’s left. I am not making that up.

Unfortunately, this was a rather simple decision for Diedrich. They have two main businesses: wholesale coffee sales, and coffee shops. The former is profitable, and the latter is not. They’ve been posting losses, mainly due to their coffee shops. Since they’re a public corporation, their duty is to maximize value to their shareholders. Ergo, they sold out like Metallica.

This hits me particularly hard because I’ve always harbored a fantasy that I might one day own my own coffee shop. If a major chain like Diedrich, which has both excellent coffee and pastries (surprisingly rare), can’t make it, what chance do I have? Granted, my shop would be modeled more closely to uber-cool independent shops like The Bourgeois Pig, albeit with a name you actually spell (probably). Now I’ll have to work extra hard at making it obscenely cool. This does not bode well for my lazy ass.

Sometimes, a plot theme is explored in several films.

One such theme is “data mining,” for want of a better term.

To satisfy his personal curiosity, the protagonist deeply explores a previously gathered record of an event using his professional techniques, and makes an important discovery. Watching the professional protagonist going about his task for personal reasons is quite interesting.

“Blowup” (1966): Photography. He blows up photographs and explores details in the background.

“The Conversation” (1974) Audio. He uses various audiotape editing techniques.

“Blow Out” (1981) Both photography and audio. He synchronizes a sequence of magazine photographs with his own audio.

I haven’t watched South Park in about 8 years, but last night I was flipping through channels and stopped dead on what I thought was some sort of game demo.
Turns out it was a South Park episode all about the game “World of Warcraft” and since I know some Crack Team members are into this, I had to watch it. Much of the episode includes actual gameplay.

The story line goes: There is this high level player going around killing characters for no reason. I guess that normally characters have to accept a duel before risking their characters’ lives? Well this guy is such a high level that he overrides this rule.

The staff at Blizzard Entertainment is worried because the guy can “kill” administrators’ characters, so even they can’t stop him.

Cartman and the gang figure that if they spend every waking hour for months on end (in hiding) they might reach a level high enough for the four of them to defeat him.
Can the gang of four, with the help of Stan’s dad(a noob) and Blizzard’s banned “Sword of a Thousand Truths”, defeat the serial killer?

Quotes from the show:

Blizzard staff: What kind of person would do this?
Blizzard President: Only one kind. Whoever this player is, he has played World of Warcraft nearly every hour of every day for the past year and a half. Gentlemen, we are dealing with someone here who… had absolutely no life.
Blizzard staff: How do you kill… that which has no life?

[think about that for a minute]

Blizzard staff: There are over seven million people who log on to World of Warcraft! Are you telling me all those people’s characters are going to die, and there’s nothing we can do to save them?
Blizzard President: Yes. And it won’t be long before everyone gets really really frustrated and stops playing altogether. Gentlemen, this could very well lead to the end of the World…… (of Warcraft).

Cartman:[Trying to convince others to join his cause.] If you had a chance right now to go back in time and stop Hitler, wouldn’t you do it? I mean, I personally wouldn’t stop him because I think he was awesome, but you would, right?

Great Noir poses the question: Why me? Why is this happening to me? And the answer is for no reason, for no reason at all. Noir concerned with error and confusion.
-Errol Morris

These are notes I took during Cinema History class some years ago. I hadn’t seen them written quite so clearly on the Internet (I probably didn’t look hard enough), so I am doing so. Thanks to both gentlemen for their contributions (any mistakes are mine, not theirs).

Schrader’s Recurring Characteristics of Film Noir

• The majority of scenes are lit for night.
• Oblique and vertical lines are preferred to horizontal.
• The actors and setting are often given equal lighting emphasis. This devalues the characters’ humanity.
• Compositional is preferred to physical action.
• Performance intensity
• Crowded characters
• Much use of reflective surfaces (water, mirrors, windows).
• Goes back to German Expressionism
• Introspection of characters
• Voice-over narration is often used. It is frequently needed by the audience to understand the plot.
• Complex chronological order reinforces a sense of hopelessness and lost time.

Here is the addenda provided by my professor, Robin Matthews:

Matthew’s Recurring Characteristics of Film Noir

• Rain
• Adds a somber tone
• Creates reflective surfaces
• Neon lights
• Indicate an urban environment
• Give off little light
• Dimly lit nightclubs: provide a place to plan crimes
• Winding roads: relate to dreams, as unsolved
• Characters with physical handicaps, or “grotesques” (E.g., Nicholson’s bandaged nose in Chinatown transforms him into a clown.)
• Sadists (E.g., Night of the Hunter)
• Double- and triple-crosses
• Can’t trust anyone
• Femme fatales
• E.g., Body Heat
• “Cosmic” irrationality
• Good and bad are not that far apart
• Happy endings are rare
• Example 1: French Connection’s Popeye Doyle endangering innocent lives during a car chase
• Example 2: DOA
• Dream sequences

Imagine Marc Bolan backed by Black Sabbath while Ozzy was on a bender, and you’ve got a pretty clear idea of Wolfmother. Aussie Ozborne, if you will. If you’ve got a healthy taste for classic rock, by which I mean the hard stuff, you’ll find their self titled album pretty fanstastic.

I’m ever impressed by bands these days who really capture a particular sound from years past. Interpol, She Wants Revenge - those aren’t bands that are influenced by the Manchester music scene of the 80’s - they’re the real thing. Wolfmother does the same thing for 70’s rock. I seriously doubt there’s a modern instrument among them.

And cover art by Frank Frazetta for cryin’ out loud!

Some people think embracing an era that strongly is lame and unorginal. I’m of the opinion that it’s actually way harder to pull off than anyone gives them credit for. Also, it sounds awesome. Also, my opinions count more than other people’s. Sorry, that’s just a fact.

You’ve probably heard Woman by now, and maybe Dimension if you watched Dane Cook’s Tourgasm. Here are some other tracks I thought were particularly good:

White Unicorn: Just the title is evocative of the 70’s fantasy literature and art embraced by bands like Rush (did you know they had a song called The Necromancer? And another about trees fighting each other?) and Led Zeplin (who weren’t afraid to sing about Middle Earth).

Mind’s Eye: little slower, but with a rockin’ chorus. Keyboards remind me of The Who.

Love Train: Little funk, little Latin vibe thrown in.